Chiropractor designs a ‘lipstick GLUE’ to seal the vagina shut – and claims it’s an alternative to a tampon
The US chiropractor is suggesting women glue their vaginas together to hold in menstrual blood while they have their periods so they can expel fluids without pads or tampons needed
Well, prepare for your downstairs to be dazzled by the latest suggestion from a man who appears to have zero understanding of women or their bits, introducing Dr Daniel Dopps.
A chiropractor from the US, Dr Dopps describes the vagina as a “self-cleaning shower drain”.
And he's used used this incredibly scientific understanding of female anatomy to come up with a product no woman in their right mind would want — The Mensez Adhesive Vaginal Lipstick.
Yes, it is as bad as it sounds.
Dr Dopps is the chief executive of a company called Mensez Technologies.
He describes his ingenious invention as a “natural compound of amino acids and oil in a lipstick".
It's designed to be applied to the labia minora, causing them to "cling together in a manner strong enough to retain menstrual fluid in the vestibule above the labia minora where the vaginal opening and urethra exit".
As if the whole process wasn’t bad enough.
Dr Dopps thinks we should all walk around collecting our own menstrual fluid until it’s time to go to the bathroom.
The Mensez compound is, on the other hand, “instantly washed away with urine, [releasing] the menstrual fluid along with the urine into the toilet.
"No pads or tampons are needed. Safe, secure and clean.”
If you’re thinking: “Well, I’m sure this will never get past the concept phase,” Dr Dopps was granted a patent for the lipstick on January 10.
The good doctor has said he won’t be making the product himself and advises it’s a “personal hygiene product and should not be shared with others”.
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As if there is a woman alive who would tap another female on the shoulder and utter the words “I don’t suppose you’ve got any vag glue I could borrow?”
Naturally, after testing the waters on his Facebook page, the response was swift and harsh,
But proving he’s the ever-diplomatic inventor, Dr Dopps responded to the concerns of potential customers with these carefully considered words:
“[You] as a woman should have come up with a better solution than diapers and plugs, but you didn’t.
"Reason being women are focused on and distracted by your period 25 per cent of the time, making them far less productive than they could be."
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