New mum saved from crippling loneliness thanks to new ‘Tinder for mums’ app and has now found a friend for life
Courtney Fletcher, 26, from Essex, gave birth to a beautiful baby girl called Poppy ten months ago but found herself isolated
A NEW mum saved herself from loneliness with the help of 'Tinder for mums' app Mush and now has a friend for life.
Courtney Fletcher, 26, from Essex, gave birth to a beautiful baby girl called Poppy ten months ago but found herself isolated.
The new mum had a busy job at a hospital and worked right up to the 39th week so didn’t get the opportunity to attend NCT classes before giving birth.
Courtney decided to try out a new mum introduction app in a bid to connect with other mothers and found a new best friend in Sophie Vidler, 26.
Courtney, who works as a nurse, said: “I feel like I’ve known her forever. Our outlooks are very similar and we’re both chilled out, so when we talk, we barely talk about motherhood or children, we were talking more about life outside of being a mum.”
Before using the app Courtney didn’t attend NCT classes so when her partner, Matthew Griffin, went back to work following the birth, she found herself in need of some company.
The 26-year-old said: “I never got the opportunity to go and enjoy pregnancy or go to NCT classes or anything like that.
“I was lonely when she [Poppy] popped along and my partner had gone back to work.
“I doubted myself about everything because I didn’t have anyone to ask if I was doing things right. I would stay at home and rarely leave the house.
“I would make up excuses to go out. I would go to Tesco every couple of days, rather than doing one weekly shop.”
Courtney struggled to get involved in baby groups and explained that she had lost the confidence to go out on her own with her baby Poppy.
She said: “I felt like I was the only one going through it, and I know that’s really stupid because loads of people have babies, but everything that you do you feel like you’re the first person to do it and the only person that’s going through it.
“I think half of it is at half three at night when you look out the window you see everyone’s lights are off and everyone’s curtains are closed.
“You just think they are all asleep in bed and you must be the only person in the world that’s awake right now.”
Courtney ventured out to a mother and baby’s group when her daughter Poppy was six weeks old but didn’t find it easy to connect with the other mums.
She said: “I felt that their clique was already established, so as a newbie coming in I didn’t really like it.
“I felt a bit like they were just looking at me as if you were the new kid and there was no one in the same boat as me.”
She discovered the app when athlete Greg Ritherford’s wife Susie Verrill, promoted it on her Instagram account.
Courtney decided to give it a go and downloaded the application. After completing her profile she was given her “potential matches”.
She said: “That was when I met Sophie as she was the only girl that was local to me.
“It’s very much mum life meets Tinder!”
Sophie, who has an 11-month-old son Harry, chatted with Courtney for less than a week before they arranged to meet up and went to a soft play centre and coffee shop.
Courtney said: “Because we had the babies in common I never worried that we wouldn’t have anything to talk about, even if it was just about the babies but I feel like I’ve known her forever.
“When I was on maternity leave I would see her up to three times a week. She would text me and ask if I wanted to go for a gin and I would say yes!”
Courtney now enjoys the support and friendship that comes with having another mum around when times felt tough.
She said: “It’s the silly things, like we go to get them weighed together and once I was made to feel bad by the health visitor.
“As soon as we were done, I said: ‘Do you want to go for a coffee?’ and she said: ‘No let’s go for wine!’”
“So I’ve found someone I can share a glass of wine with when I need to!”
Courtney’s advice to any mum who is feeling isolated is to download the app and give it a go.
She said: “Do it, download it, it’s just an app on your phone it doesn’t take five minutes.
“I don’t actually know if I would have gotten through the first few months without it.
“I go to a baby group now and I’ve made all those ladies download it and now they have more friends too.”
The app has spread so much through all the local mums that they now have a WhatsApp group of 12 women all within three miles of each other.
Courtney described how you can reach out to the other mums at any time “because there's always someone else awake”!
She said: “If you want to message at 2am in the morning you can. I sometimes say: ‘I have run out of ideas someone help me!’ or just for reassurance.
“I honestly don’t know what I would do without those ladies.”
While Courtney found companionship using Mush, this mum tried to solve her loneliness issues with Facebook, but found herself spending five hours on the social media site every day.