The dark side of Christmas – and why so many dads are at risk over the festive period

IT'S known as the most wonderful time of the year. But, for many, Christmas is anything but joyous.

Specifically, while most of us will be indulging in family festivities, this season, countless people - especially men - will spend it alone, which poses a hidden health risk for millions of fathers, sons, uncles and brothers nationwide.

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And, while these issues can also affect women, it's usually men who find themselves alienated and with fewer opportunities to be heard.

In their 2016 research, found that UK men aged 45-49 are, perhaps surprisingly, the demographic most likely to kill themselves.

Why? Because they're lonely.

This is particularly true when they're divorced and come from a lower social background, where they're up to ten times more likely to end their lives by suicide.

'When relationships fail, men are less likely to be awarded custody of their children, more likely to be displaced from the family home and have less access to their children,' the report says.

'This means the loss of another source of masculine identity, status and respect, as well as adding to the isolation of some men.'

Another added concern that many men face, especially at this time of year, is money.

Recent figures show that men are the majority of the unemployed. In fact, between 2007 and 2011, unemployment in the Republic of Ireland in men rose from 4.9 per cent to 17.5 per cent and in the UK from 5.6 per cent to 8.7 per cent.

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Yet - in the context of family breakdown - it's often fathers who finance the old family home while bankrolling new accommodation, where they likely live alone.

Add alcohol to the mix, which is consumed in greater excess over the festive period, and the there's a perfect health storm which can go unnoticed.

Eventually, this can all become too much and cause men who feel invisible to despair - with devastating consequences for those they leave behind.

One person who knows this all too well is Matt O'Connor, founder of campaign group .

I personally know how the pain of separation cuts deeper now than at any other time of year. In 2000, I spent my first Christmas without my two boys. Suicidal and gripped by depression, that Christmas was the most difficult period of my life. It nearly killed me.

Matt O'Connor, founder of Fathjers4Justice

He exclusively told The Sun Online: "Christmas is meant to be about family. Sadly, for tens of thousands of dads, they will be cruelly separated from their kids by our broken family justice system and a minority of bitter mums who use children as weapons in acrimonious break-ups.

"Many dads won’t even be able send their children a Christmas card.

"The cancer of fatherlessness isn’t just restricted to ordinary dads. Celebrity fathers like actor Jeremy Renner, director Guy Ritchie and singer Louis Tomlinson have all found themselves experiencing difficulties seeing their children.

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"Even Brad Pitt is facing the prospect of spending Christmas without his kids after Angelina Jolie sought sole custody of their children.

"I personally know how the pain of separation from your children cuts deeper now than at any other time of year. In 2000, I spent my first Christmas without my two boys.

It nearly killed me.

I couldn’t understand how or why I had gone from being a loving dad one month, to being excluded from my children the next, unable to give them their cards and Christmas presents.

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"Alone, and self-medicating with Jack Daniels, I started drinking heavily, spiralling down into a black pit of despair. Suicidal and gripped by depression, that Christmas was the most difficult period of my life.

"Sixteen years later, I now help fathers like me who are battling through the family courts in a desperate bid to see their children during the holidays.

"The health risks for fathers at this time of year are considerable.

"Alcohol abuse is common and can lead to alcohol dependency and full-blown alcoholism.

"Depression and suicide pose another serious risk. Dads are three-times more likely to die than mums after separation," he adds.

"At Fathers4Justice we have dealt with countless tragedies where children have lost a good, loving fathers through despair."

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Ironically, according to the charity most suicidal people don’t actually want to die, they just want to remove themselves from an unbearable situation and for the pain to stop.

"It’s a decision made when other decisions seem impossible," they note.

"Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, the whole of life can feel hopeless.

"Often in this situation, they can feel that other people will be better off without them, but this is never the case.

"Suicide has a devastating effect on the people left behind, both family, friends and whole communities."

In these instances, it seems that goodwill to all men - including fathers - can often be enough to make a difference.

"Christmas should be a time for families," adds Matt.

"We urge mums never to hate their ex-husbands more than they love their children - and ensure they're given the best gift, this Christmas: the love of both their parents." 

If there's something troubling you,seek help. Call The Samaritans FREE on 116 123.

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