10 things you should never say to someone with cancer

THERE are 2.5 million people living with cancer in the UK right now, and experts predict that by 2030 nearly 4 million people will have the disease.

Most people are affected by the disease even if they never suffer with cancer themselves. When someone you know is diagnosed, it can be tricky to know what to say; some choose to say nothing at all and others simply say the wrong thing.

To help avoid any awkwardness or upset, cancer charities like have shared a list of guidelines to follow when talking about cancer.

Here’s what to avoid saying:

“Don’t worry you’ll be fine.”

Ultimately, no one can know that. So rather than being overly optimistic, just try saying a simple “I’m sorry” or “I hope it will be okay.” Try not to minimise their experience or downplay what they’re going through and leave the conversation open so they can talk about their fears and concerns if they want to.

“What’s your prognosis?”

Never be intrusive. If they bring it up it’s fine to discuss, but wait for them to make the first move.

Don’t be intrusive

Asking detailed cancer questions about their treatment or blood results is a step too far. If they want to bring it up that’s totally fine, but avoid asking personal questions that you wouldn’t have asked before their diagnosis.

“At least you look slimmer”

Making light of the physical changes, like hair and weight loss can be tempting, but it can make the sufferer feel more self conscious. If they’ve just started treatment, don’t ask about potential side effects either.

“My friend with cancer just ran a marathon”

Everyone is different and every one deals with cancer differently. Try not to make comparisons with how other people are coping.

Don’t make it all about you

While you’re understandably distressed about your loved one’s news, it’s important to remember that it’s not all about you. Don’t lose your focus on the person with cancer – they don’t care about how hard this is for you to accept and they certainly don’t want to have to comfort you right now.

“They had the same thing as you.”

No two cancers are the same, so just because someone you know had a similar diagnosis it’s best to avoid mentioning it. Instead offer encouragement through success stories of long-term cancer survivors.

“I know how you feel”

Even if you have been through cancer yourself, you can never truly know what’s going through someone else’s mind. Instead, try saying “I care about you and want to help.” And telling them to stay positive will only cause frustration.

“At least it’s not the worst type of cancer”

Try and avoid referring to it as a “good cancer” or not as bad as another type you’ve heard is more aggressive.

“You’re a hero”

Avoiding using clichés like “hero” or “battle” when talking about their cancer. How would it make the person feel if their cancer gets worse? Would it make them feel like they didn’t fight hard enough?