Men and women reveal their experience of infidelity in new C5 show Me and My Affair
Cheaters and victims have spoken out about how adulterous behaviour affected their lives in this candid Channel 5 show
THE STATISTICS suggest that one in five of us have had an affair and a quarter of divorces cite adultery as the reason for the relationship break down.
With an unconventional amount of frankness Channel 5’s show Me and My Affair sees a series of individuals who have been affected by infidelity open up about their experiences.
Laid completely bare, the candid interviews reveal all sides of affairs including the guilt, shame and devastation.
One woman Lisa, 44, shared the story of her marriage.
“When I met my husband he was like no one I had ever met before, he was a gentleman,” she said.
She described how her attentive husband initially courted her with gifts and poetry.
The happy start to their relationship was not to last after a series of family problems, including a miscarriage, caused them to drift apart.
The sense of separation continued and just three months after the birth of their second son, Lisa saw a graphic message on her husband’s phone.
Recognising the woman as an old work colleague of hers, she confronted her husband about the affair who confessed everything.
She said: “I just wanted to throw up I didn’t know what to do.”
After a short separation Lisa accepted her husband’s apologies and after a year of marriage counselling, they were back on track and even had another child.
Lisa went on to describe how the intimacy once again left their marriage when their daughter turned one year old and her husband became “irritable”, “difficult” and “secretive”.
She asked her husband if he had started another affair to which he responded by asking if she was crazy and saying he would never do that after the damage he had previously caused.
Unsure if he was telling the truth Lisa check their sat nav and found an address she didn’t recognise, she went to the house and could see her husband’s shoes by the door through the window.
She could hear her husband laughing so let herself in to the home and confronted him.
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But her cold hearted husband refused to show any remorse and just said that their marriage was over anyway.
Heartbroken Lisa never reconciled with her husband and three years on, admits to being lonely from time to time.
She now runs a support group for single mothers.
Another person to contribute to the show was Jerry, 52.
Jerry told of how he and his wife had been friends for years. He was so in love with her that he never even thought of having an affair.
When someone asked what him what he would do if he and his wife split up, he explained that he responded: “That is never going to happen I can tell you absolutely that is never going to happen.”
Jerry and his wife had a happy marriage until they had children and Jerry started to feel as though they weren’t as close.
He said: “If you are a secure man that’s fine but I think it is problematic and I think that is probably why I went and f***ed it all up.”
Jerry started to get attention from a woman at his work but when it became apparent there was more than just a friendship between them he decided to keep his distance.
He said: “For the next year I kind of kept my distance but felt an incredible pull towards her and I really hoped to run into her in the dining room.”
Jerry described how seeing her would get him feeling “adrenalized” and “charged up” and eventually they started texting.
He decided that what he was doing was wrong so went to tell his wife what had happened, distraught she told him that if he ever spoke to the woman again their marriage would be over.
As he stayed away from the women he felt his obsession growing stronger and when the two bumped into each other they spoke about the mutual feelings but decided to walk away and “be adult”.
But the attraction was too strong and they started what would turn into a five month affair.
He said: “I remember getting in the car and driving away with this horrific feeling that was in my head ‘I’m an adulterer’.”
Jerry explained that he continued the relationship partly because of the physical attraction between them and partly because he was terrified his mistress would expose him to his wife if he tried to walk away.
One evening he received a voicemail from his wife saying that she had found an email and that she knew everything
Jerry described how he felt so relieved.
He said: “I guess it’s like being on death row and getting an execution date.”
Their marriage ended immediately without any discussion or negotiation.
Jerry tearfully explained that the “worst part of the affair for me was that I missed her”.
Jerry and his wife divorced and she is now in a relationship with a new man, Jerry still spends time with his children, seeing them twice a week.