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CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE ABSURD KIND

From a tong emergency to phone box sex, randy readers reveal their most embarrassing tales of raunchy romps

Spicing things up lead to unexpected consequences for these couples

composite randy couples

GETTING frisky can be risky. Just this week a randy couple were left red-faced when they ended up trapped in their car.

The couple in their twenties were so busy getting steamy they failed to notice the tide was coming in – leaving them stranded on the beach in Cleethorpes, Lincs.

And not only were they the laughing stock of the whole town as their car was towed to safety, they also made it into The Sun for the rest of the world to read about.

 Sea trembler ... randy couple did not notice the tide coming in until it was too late
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Sea trembler ... randy couple did not notice the tide coming in until it was too lateCredit: News Group Newspapers Ltd

But the bonkers on the beach are not alone. Here, four saucy readers recount their most embarrassing sexual encounters.

We were in cubicle for ages ... just trying to get his foot out of the loo

SARAH BRYAN, 28, from Ossett, West Yorks, was tempted to join the mile-high club.

But during the romp her ex-boyfriend lost a shoe in the toilet after getting his foot stuck.

 Sarah's attempt to join the mile high club turned into a sloppy mess
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Sarah's attempt to join the mile high club turned into a sloppy mess

Sarah says: We had a bit of a thing for doing the deed in as many unusual places as possible – on trains, restaurant bathrooms and even a rollercoaster simulator ride.

It was a mutual decision to attempt to join the mile-high club on a flight from South Africa.

We were both sat either side of the aisle. He gave me ‘the look’ and unbuckled his seatbelt.

I swiftly followed him to the loo and once we were locked in the tiny ­cubicle, we attempted some nookie.

Sadly, it was awkward, uncomfortable, unromantic and pretty much a disaster on every level.

After several attempts to find a ­workable position, he got his foot stuck in the loo. I mean, really stuck. We couldn’t pull it back out.

We were in there ages, but not because we were making passionate love – we were just trying to get his foot out of the loo.

The only option was to slip his foot out of the shoe and leave it behind.

I left the cubicle first, to see that quite a queue had formed. The first woman in the queue gave me a look of disgust.

My boyfriend soon followed, with one wet sock.

 Sarah's ex-boyfriend was forced to leave his shoe jammed in the airplane toilet
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Sarah's ex-boyfriend was forced to leave his shoe jammed in the airplane toiletCredit: Alamy

Five minutes later, a flight attendant made an announcement. ‘One of the bathrooms will be out of order for the rest of the flight. And if anyone is missing a shoe, please speak to a member of flight crew.’

We were mortified – we still had six hours to go before we got home.

On landing back in the UK, everyone started packing up and leaving the flight.

The attendants stared at my partner, who had to hobble off the plane wearing just one shoe. But no one ever said anything to us.

The queue for customs felt particularly long that day.

 

People are mean and it's made me think twice about having sex in public again

LISA KERLEY, 42, and her partner Gavin Wain, 31, of Tamworth, Staffs, were snapped having sex in a phone box by a shocked ­motorist last year.

The pictures of the randy couple were shared around the globe, leaving Lisa mortified.

 Lisa Kerley and Gavin Wain were caught having sex in a phone box after afternoon drinks
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Lisa Kerley and Gavin Wain were caught having sex in a phone box after afternoon drinksCredit: Paul Tonge

She says: It was a nice sunny day so Gavin and I had been out for a few drinks. We were walking home when we spotted the phone box and Gavin suggested we both pop in, together.

I thought he was joking at first, but when I realised he was serious I thought it might be quite fun.

Nobody was around, so I thought it seemed OK. It was on a very quiet street and we thought there was no chance anyone would see us.

It was quite fun at the time. As far as we both knew, we had got away with it.

 The couple were snapped by a passing motorist and the pic was passed around social media before making it into The Sun
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The couple were snapped by a passing motorist and the pic was passed around social media before making it into The SunCredit: SWNS:South West News Service

The next day Gavin got a text from his mum saying she had seen a picture of the two of us on Facebook having sex in a phone box.

I started to panic. How could someone have spotted us? It turns out that a bloke in his car had got a picture as he went past.

Next thing I knew it was all over the world – I feel like the story even made it to the moon.

Everyone was sharing it on social media and it made the pages of The Sun.

It was very embarrassing. I couldn’t believe my kids and my nan could see that picture – but I only had myself to blame.

I have had a lot of people recognise us in the street – they shout ‘phone box couple’ at us.

It’s OK for Gavin as people seem to think it’s the sort of thing a bloke should do, but people can be quite mean to me.

It has certainly made me think twice about having sex in public again.

We even tried using BBQ tongs to get sex toy out

EMMA PHILLIPS, 24, and her partner Lee Miller, 29, ended their night of passion when she got a buzzing sex toy lodged inside her.

The student teacher and mother of one from Wallasey, Merseyside, was left mortified when she had to have it removed by doctors.

 Emma ended up in A&E after her night of passion
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Emma ended up in A&E after her night of passionCredit: Mercury Press

She says: When I leaned on my stomach I could feel it vibrating – it was stuck low down and at one point was even wedged behind my hip.

For a while Lee was suggesting all kinds of weird and ­wonderful options.

He tried a kitchen fork handle – which we won’t be using again – and he tried barbecue tongs too.

But after an hour of trying we knew we were going to have to go to hospital. We were both a bit shocked.

 The buzzing sex toy had to be surgically removed from Emma
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The buzzing sex toy had to be surgically removed from EmmaCredit: Mercury Press

We’d been drinking the night before, so we couldn’t drive.

I had to make the most embarrassing call to the ­ambulance service at 7am.

The call handler said, ‘Tell me exactly what the problem is,’ so I had to tell him.

The doctors were really good. They all moved quite quickly and were so reassuring, telling me they saw this kind of thing quite often, which was quite a relief.

There was talk of going through my stomach if they couldn’t get it – it was really scary.

My daughter was staying with my mum and dad, as I’d stayed at Lee’s the night before.

I wasn’t going to tell them but when I was going into surgery, I knew we were going to have to say ­something, so I told my mum the real reason.

I’ve learnt that I’ll need to be more careful in future.

 

He described sex in graphic detail to his mum while cradling todger

ALIX FOX’s passionate romp with her fella came to an abrupt halt when he hurt his manhood.

But Alix, 33, from Macclesfield, was stunned when her ex-partner phoned his MUM to tell her all about it.

 Alix Fox was left shocked when her ex-lover shared saucy details of their session with his mother
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Alix Fox was left shocked when her ex-lover shared saucy details of their session with his motherCredit: News Group Newspapers Ltd

Alix says: I have had my fair share of X-rated embarrassments over the years. The most horrifying happened during a really intense sex session with an ex.

My housemate was away one evening so me and my man had my flat to ourselves.

We were taking full advantage of the situation by making it our mission to christen every room in the place.

We were having a great time when suddenly he burst a blood vessel.

Although he hadn’t felt any pain, a bright purple blood blister had appeared under the skin on the base of his manhood.

It was about the size of a penny and a deep shade of plum. I must admit, it looked shocking.

I wasn’t expecting him to take multiple pictures of his penis with his mobile – then send them to his mum for advice

He immediately turned on all the lights so that he could see better – then he started freaking out.

I don’t blame him for being scared. I suggested that we call NHS Direct for some advice or that we head to A&E.

I wasn’t expecting him to take multiple pictures of his penis with his mobile – then send them to his mum for advice.

She phoned him back straight away and my boyfriend stood there naked, at 3am, anxiously describing the sex we had been having in graphic detail to his mother while cradling his todger.

Thankfully, his mum also recommended he consult a medical professional.

When he did see a doctor, they told him the blister was nothing for him to worry about and that it would heal on its own in a week or two.

I’m not sure what caused my ex’s injury. He may have accidentally bashed against something while we were romping around.

It’s safe to say a burst vessel really burst our sexual bubble.

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