Exclusive
'Eating felt like failure'

Woman, 24, who made herself sick 5 times a DAY at height of eating disorder beats it to become a bodybuilder

Laura Bardsley credits her boyfriend with helping her turn her life around

A WOMAN who was once so gripped by an eating disorder she felt greedy whenever she ate and made herself sick five times a day has conquered the illness to become a bodybuilder.

Laura Bardsley's problems began when she was 15 and lost a close member of her family.

Advertisement
Laura Bardsley, seen before (l) and after (r) her battle with anorexiaCredit: PHA

She handled her grief by controlling her food, and at her worst she weighed just 6st 6lbs and was a tiny clothes size 4.

As she was at boarding school, Laura, from Lancashire, found it easy to hide her anorexia from her family.

“I didn’t have my parents there to tell me to eat and my friends didn’t know how to approach the situation," she explained.

Laura has now become a bodybuilder and is working towards becoming a personal trainerCredit: PHA

"I was able to either skip meals completely or I would make myself sick any time I was made to eat.

Advertisement

“Purging played a huge part in my illness from start to finish as the thought of having food in my stomach or feeling full filled me with fear.

“Any rational thinking towards food was nonexistent and I believed it either led to immediate weight gain or you were a bad and greedy person for eating.

At her slimmest she was just 6st 6lb (left)Credit: PHA

"I felt guilty and like a failure any time I ate.”

Advertisement

At her worst, Laura, now 24, was being sick five times a day.

She would make herself vomit even if she'd only had a small snack, and always if she was made to eat at a school meal time.

At first, her friends compliments her weight loss. They had no idea how ill she was, and their praise just made her want to drop even more pounds.

Her pals eventually started to worry about her, but Laura couldn't see anything wrong with her behaviour.

Advertisement

"I would constantly think of ways I could avoid eating, coming up with excuses and lies to tell my friends and family," she said.

She now weighs 9st 9lb and is much healthierCredit: PHA

“I would say I’d already eaten, hide food, throw it away.

"I would leave plates and crumbs of food out to make it look as though I had prepared and eaten food."

Advertisement

On top of this, Laura became obsessed with exercise.

She'd go on huge runs in secret and do as many sit-ups as possible - even leaving herself with a bruised spine.

"The more weight I lost, the more I sunk into a state of depression and the more I pushed friends away," she admitted.

Laura fell ill after a close member of her family diedCredit: PHA
Advertisement

"My confidence and love for myself was nonexistent.

"I would cry all the time and had no desire to communicate or socialise with anyone.

“Food and weight loss dominated my thoughts and to me, that’s all that mattered.

"I would stand in front of the mirror examining my flaws and every day would make sure I could get my two hands around my thigh.”

Advertisement

RELATED STORIES:

LOOKING SHARP
I looked ruff! Woman has £90k worth of surgery after her excess skin looked like the fat rolls of a shar-pei dog
'IT WAS A SLAP IN THE FACE'
Mum-of-two hits back at trolls who called her 'fake' after incredible 7st weight loss
body shaming
Plus-size model edits her ‘flaws’ in pic to blast rivals who get airbrushed to ‘perfection’
BREAKING THE CYCLE
'When I saw cave-diving pic I was shocked at how big I was': Snap spurred Carli Jay on to lose 10 stone

Laura went to Canada on a gap year and when she got back she was at her lowest weight, living on about 500 calories a day.

She was referred to The Priory Hospital in Altrincham for help.

"My depression was at its worst, I had suicidal thoughts daily, I cried whenever I had to eat, my hair was falling out, I wasn’t able to go shopping as high street clothes were too big," she said.

The idea of in-patient treatment was brought up, but Laura didn't want to as she knew how much she'd miss her friends and family.

Advertisement