Groom organises a Roman Empire themed-wedding where the ceremony transforms into a BATTLE SCENE complete with guillotines and fancy dress on Don’t Tell the Bride

IT never ceases to amaze how blokes on Don’t Tell the Bride fail to take into account anything their future wife asks for on their big day.

This week’s episode is no exception, with beautician Zoe, 23, dreaming of an indoor wedding with a classic, girly theme.

History-loving groom Matthew, 25, had other ideas, and decided to stage an outdoor, Roman Empire themed affair featuring a full-on BATTLE at an old, crumbling amphitheatre in a muddy field.

Despite the couple from south Wales having known each other since they were 12, Matthew had no plans to spend the £14,000 budget on the wedding of his fiancée’s dreams.

From early on in the episode it’s clear Zoe usually wears the trousers, as she explains: “My standards are quite high, I do like everything to look nice and clean and pretty, only the best will do.”

Speaking about her wedding, she stresses: “If I was to walk into my dream venue I’d want orange and pink, and glitter and gems everywhere. Anything vintage, cute and fluffy.

“I wouldn’t be happy if it was outside and it was raining, I wouldn’t want to be cold.”

But Matthew is clearly relishing the opportunity to take the reins when it comes to organising the big outdoor event.

Speaking about his plans, he explains: “Because I love history I want to give Zoe a Roman-themed wedding where all the men are dressed as Roman legionnaires and Zoe’s gonna be brought in on a horse-drawn, Roman-style chariot.

“All our family and friends are going to be around us, as the spectators would have been.”

As an extra “surprise”, the wedding will then transform into a battle, with guests – including bride Zoe’s dad – dressed in full suits of Roman armour carrying real weapons.

Matthew admits: “It’s a bit dangerous, but you need a bit of danger I think.”

In fairness, the ‘Rome-mantic’ venue is where Matthew took Zoe on their first date – but when it comes to getting married, ancient muddy ruins are far from her ideal.

She has her heart set on getting married in a warm, cosy lodge decorated with fairy lights and feathers.

As for the dress, Zoe was hankering after a full sleeve – anything but a “vest-top” look.

Clearly Matthew didn’t get the memo, opting for a spaghetti strap number with added ‘cape’ details to tie in with the Roman-theme.

Cue tears of despair and desperate quaffing of champagne from Zoe – until she actually puts it on.

Matthew picked an Indian restaurant as a reception venue – very Roman – and told his wife-to-be to pack casual, comfy clothes and “maybe make-up” for her hen.

After some initial tears and tantrums at the short notice and mention of gym kit, Zoe ends up having a blast at a trampoline park.

But when it transpires Matthew has failed to stump up for a meal for her mates and left the hens stranded in Cardiff for six hours without any entertainment, the bride-to-be isn’t happy.

The bridesmaids aren’t too pleased either when they’re given fancy dress costumes to wear – but sadly no shoes.

Thankfully the mud at the amphitheatre dries up in time for the wedding – but what will Zoe make of the big day battle?

Will he be thrown to the lions – or will he reign victorious?

Don’t Tell The Bride airs on Sky 1 at 8pm on Thursdays.