You don’t gossip with your partner… and six other warning signs that you could be ripe for an affair
The Sun's sex and relationship columnist Dr Pam Spurr talks about the tell-tale signs you should look out for that you could be looking elsewhere
THE Sun's sex and relationship columnist Dr Pam Spurr regularly brings you must-know info for the bedroom and beyond. Follow Dr Pam on Twitter .
I’m guessing love-rat, Lloyds bank boss Antonio Horta-Osorio must be savvy with money to justify his £8 million pay packet. Too bad for wife Ana he’s not as savvy with relationships.
More so and Antonio might’ve seen he was on track to affairs-ville with Dr Wendy Piatt. He could’ve pulled back before blowing his wife’s trust out of the water.
But such is the way with much cheating. People constantly say that things weren’t good in their relationship, there was someone flirtatious on their radar, but they didn’t think they’d actually ‘go there’.
Low and behold, they bed that other person. It’s a doh!-head-slap moment when it all goes wrong. Suddenly they realise what they’ve given up for a cheap fling as Antonio does.
Here are seven signs you must watch for...
1. Your inner critic
You suddenly become hypercritical of cheats. Guess what? Could be your unconscious mind projecting your fears things aren’t good and you could end up being a cheat!
I’ve heard countless times from partners - who’ve been cheated on - how shocked they were their partner cheated: but he/she used to always criticise cheats!
2. Excuses, excuses
Although still in your sexual prime you make any excuse to avoid sex with your partner. Whether it’s bad bedroom technique or bedroom-boredom. It’s a sure sign you may look for sexual release elsewhere in future.
3. Spread the news
Where once you went to your partner first with good or exciting news, or juicy gossip, now you turn to others first. Don’t be fooled, when your partner stops being your go-to- person, you’re at risk.
4. Your attention please!
You lap up attention from someone - anyone - who compliments or flirts with you. The feeling that someone finds you attractive overwhelms common sense.
This was a top reason people gave for starting an affair – suddenly getting attention was exciting.
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5. You’re annoying me now!
Your partner annoys you just by… the way they speak, the way they dress, or laugh, how they eat, etc. You get my drift. When you come to a point where you can’t bear anything they do, you’re in danger of thinking others look a good bet.
6. Alive again
You feel alive when in other people’s company and the opposite with your partner. You’re probably brought down by talk of bills, babies if you have them, and other boring stuff.
Your relationship’s all about vibe-killing stuff, so you might start looking around.
7. Style it out
You suddenly want a new hairstyle, new look, maybe to slim down. It’s a classic sign someone’s cheating when they suddenly spruce themselves up. But one study found many who ended up cheating did this before they’d even met someone new.
At an unconscious level you already might be planning a new life, you just don’t realise it. If these signs ring a bell, do these:
- Make sure you don’t always talk ‘bills and babies’. Bring up other topics you once chatted
- about – favourite telly, planning holidays, fun stuff generally.
- Try little tricks to bring back romance. Light candles at dinner, don’t always eat in front of
- the telly, go out for romantic strolls, etc.
- Bring back the compliments and try seeing the best each other. Make it a daily habit - like in
- the first flush of love - to say what’s special about them.
- Start flirting again. Send them sexy texts/messages. Tell them how turned on you used to be
- when they did X, Y or Z to you. Give them red hot detail.
- If you’e noticed someone you’re attracted to, stay away from them while you try to rebuild
- your relationship.
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