Meet the anorexic sufferer who was banned from seeing her niece and nephew because her family ‘didn’t want them to see someone dying’
Jessica Clutterbuck used to be a tiny size 2 and abused laxatives to in order to get thinner
A FORMER anorexic, who was on the verge of liver failure, has put her eating disorder behind to become a super fit personal trainer.
Jessica Clutterbuck, from Congleton, Cheshire, was a tiny size 2 who worked out three times per day.
The 26-year-old abused laxatives and would even house-clean constantly to burn extra calories.
But Jessica has since successfully overcome the illness and is inspiring others to take a more healthy approach to diet and fitness.
Now weighing a healthy 11 stone 4lbs for her 5'9 frame, Jessica recalled: “All I wanted was to be as thin as possible – I wanted to be able to see my rib cage and my collar bone.
“At the worst point in my illness, my hair had started to come away and my skin was turning yellow due to the beginning of liver failure."
Growing up, Jessica had always loved her food but developed an unhealthy relationship with it when she became a teenager.
Jessica, now a personal trainer, said: “When I was a child, I was always chunky and loved trying new foods.
“But when I was 14, I dropped over two stone during the summer holidays and figured out eating less meant weighing less.
“From that age onwards, my weight fluctuated. When I was 19, I went from a size 12 to a size 6 in a short space of time by burning 1000 calories on the treadmill every day and fasting.”
Jessica managed to regain the weight and stay at a healthy size for several years.
But at age 23, she started crash dieting again and went down to a UK size 2.
She explains: “I survived on a diet of bananas, watermelon and Diet Coke. And my daily exercise would include walking for 90 minutes and completing two home workout DVDS. I would even clean constantly to burn extra calories."
And Jessica’s drastic weight loss began to affect her relationship with her family and friends.
She said: “My weight loss was the loneliest point of my life. I couldn’t eat in front of anyone and it caused the end of an eighteen month relationship.
“My brother told me he didn’t want me to see my niece and nephew anymore because he didn’t want them to get to know someone who was dying.”
It was following this admission by her brother that Jessica decided to turn her life around.
“It was my mum’s birthday party and everyone was outside enjoying the sunshine whilst I was sat inside wrapped in a blanket because I was so cold.
“I was sat with my six-month old niece and I looked at her and thought ‘I can’t believe how much I love this girl’. And I thought to myself that if I can love this little girl so much then how much could I love my own child.
“I realised that the damage I had caused to my body meant I may never know that feeling of being a mother. That was the moment when I decided I knew."
In 2013, Jessica checked herself into an eating disorder clinic as an outpatient and was immediately diagnosed with anorexia nervosa.
“I knew if I didn’t overcome my issues with food, I would seriously damage my health and risk my own life," she said.
“I knew I had to be brave. So each week, I set myself a ‘scary’ food challenge, whether it be a small bowl of pasta or a piece of toast.
“Eating it all would be so difficult but it felt the biggest achievement of my life. As the weeks went by, eating food became less and less scary”
Within a year, Jessica had gained 1 stone 8lbs and now has a healthy BMI. Shortly afterwards, Jessica met her boyfriend who was the owner of a local gym and became hooked on weight training.
Within a few months, Jessica made such headway with her training that she qualified to become a personal trainer.
Jessica wants to encourage other women to stop the cycle of crash dieting and receive positive messages from her followers on Instagram.
She added: “We spend our lives beating ourselves up, wishing and wanting what the next woman has. Accepting yourself is the first step.
“I want to show other women that there is nothing wrong with a bit of self love – we need it!
“I believe exercise is the most underrated form of antidepressant and I truly believe it can change your whole outlook on life when used in the right way.”