As Jodie Marsh swears off sex… six steps to get sizzling sex back in your life

Our sex and relationship columnist Dr Pam Spurr regularly brings you must-know info for the bedroom and beyond. Follow Dr Pam on Twitter

Television presenter Jodie Marsh is one-of-a-kind. I think it’s fantastic she’s open about being celibate again.

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But followers on social media and viewers who saw her on ITV’s This Morning are probably bewildered.

Many wonder why such a gorgeous girl would swear off sex?

There are many reasons why. Some have had unhappy sexual experiences. They want a break from sexual relationships so they can heal.

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Others accept they’ve had an unhealthy relationship with sex. Maybe they’ve used sex to get love. They want to become strong and confident without using sex as a crutch.

Also some have had sex partners who couldn’t satisfy them so they give up. Of course there are many other reasons.

But when you decide you’re ready to get back in the bedroom - for full-on action - how can you kick-start a sizzling sex life?

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Here are six steps you must take:

Be confident

It’s no good deciding to have sex again if you don’t ask for what you want. Go ‘Spice Girls’ about it – ask for what you really, really want.

As foreplay starts, whisper what you really like. Or if they don’t touch you in your fave pleasure-zone, move their hand to the right place.

That new person’s intentions

Maybe you’ve been celibate because you, for instance, felt used in previous sexual relationships. You need to know what that new person wants.

Have the confidence to wait until you know if you’re singing from the same page.

Build sexual tension

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Research shows those who’ve struggled with sex in the past enjoy it far more if they build sexual tension.

Agree with your new partner – or your long-term partner that you haven’t been having sex with – to build tension.

Set some red-hot ground rules: The first week you’re only allowed to kiss.

The second week you can start a little caressing.

The third week you strip off for some sensual massage…er, I don’t think you’ll wait ‘til the fourth week!

Don’t be pressured

One survey of celibacy found many had felt pressured to do things they didn’t want to do in bed. It was easier to just stop having a sexual relationship.

So once you’re back in the sex-saddle, if a partner asks you to do something you don’t want to, just say no.

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It might be swallowing during oral sex, trying bondage, anal sex, whatever, simply stick to your guns about what you will and won’t do.

Let your fantasies guide you

You might’ve been on the sex-wagon but that doesn’t mean you didn’t have sexual fantasies.

Be happy to share these. If you get turned on imagining your boss locks the boardroom door and throws you on the conference table for a raunchy encounter, share that.

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Obviously don’t say you’re thinking about your real-life boss. This is fantasy so your partner and you can have sexy chat about them in that role!

Allow yourself to sex-periment

Now you’re reclaiming control of your sex life it’s the perfect time to try something new.

If you’ve wondered about the thrill of having sex on a secluded beach, or wanting your partner to handcuff you and then tease you ‘til you can’t take any more, try it.

Be a little daring, be in control and enjoy.

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