As Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston hook up, these are the six things you must do to have mind-blowing sex for the first time

OUR sex and relationship columnist Dr Pam Spurr regularly brings you must-know info for the bedroom and beyond. Follow Dr Pam on Twitter

It’s a full-time job keeping up with Taylor Swift’s love life. Seems a moment ago she was loved-up with Calvin Harris. Blink and Tom Hiddleston of Night Manager fame has managed to capture her affections.

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Superstar or not, it’s nerve-wrecking with someone new. One survey found a top bedroom-dread was slipping between the sheets for the first time and something going wrong.

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Remember you’re both in the same position… and you might get lucky sharing a red hot position sooner than you think.

Here are six steps to getting the sex you want:

1. No faking allowed

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A common complaint I hear is how many fake climaxing because previous partners haven’t rocked their worlds. Grab this opportunity to ban faking it.

If they’re massaging your breasts like they’re squeezing oranges - round and round - ask them to use a gentler technique.

Or tell them if they’re manhandling your manhood and you’d like a softer touch. Be tactful and your wish will be their command

2. Laugh from the start

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One survey found sex-with-someone-new-worries ranged from making a hash of getting your clothes off, to accidentally making un-sexy noises – queefing (trapped air in the vagina escaping) a burp, some wind, etc. Have a giggle, take a ‘who cares’ attitude and they will too.

3. Self-pleasure before pleasure-together

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This probably doesn’t apply to 99% of guys who happily indulge in self-pleasure. But women need to catch up. Once you know what turns you on, share this all-important info with that newbie.

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Have a steamy shower enjoying ‘me time’ touching yourself all over. Or have a buzz in bed trying different sex toys. Discover the pressure, speed and friction of what turns you on so you can share this top info.

4. Show and tell

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Feeling shy explaining what you want them to do? Demonstrate it.

Maybe they’re kissing your nipples in a way that doesn’t do it. Take their fingertips between your lips and lick and suck them. Whisper how you’d love them to do the same to your nipples.

Or show them the next step as they touch you. If they’re stroking your body, move their fingertips down to tease your clitoral zone. Hold their finger tips and move them back and forth, the way you love it.

5. Fantasy chat takes you all the way

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Still feeling awkward showing them what to do? Fantasy chat can get you what you want while being fun. Start with their job – maybe he’s a plumber - teasingly ask if he does ‘extras. Suggest he describes those extras.

Maybe she works in a department store? Share your fantasy of getting frisky with her, giving you ‘personal attention’ in the changing room.

6. Ratchet up the randy-factor

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You’re in control, you don’t have to rush going all the way. Be honest, let them know if fun foreplay is the only thing on your agenda for now.

Then kiss, lick, stroke and caress to your hearts content. Tease to please - you’ll both have loads to look forward to.

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