Are you a victim of ‘benching’? It’s the latest dating buzz word… and it applies to most singletons looking for love
The term refers to online daters who are strung along for months
THERE is a new dating term that sums up that stage of a relationship where a date keeps you sweet (ish) by making contact just as you're about to give up before suddenly ignoring you - repeating the cycle over and over again.
It is called 'benching', according to the New York magazine , and this form of non-committal behaviour is allegedly the result of online dating.
The 'bencher' is keeping you at their disposal so they don't feel totally alone but they are also avoiding commitment in case they meet someone better, the reports.
This hair-pulling type of contact means that just as the 'benchee' has come to terms with moving on, the bencher gets in touch and once again a list of implausible excuses are made to excuse the bad treatment.
Don't worry, this is normal - everyone has been there so don't hate yourself for not walking away sooner.
They're the fool anyway - right?
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Dating experts Selina and Vicki, from , told the that more people are experiencing benching due to a rise in the popularity of dating apps.
They said: "Online dating has made it easier than ever to bench people.
"We can send a nice message and keep people interested with a few taps of the thumbs.
"It requires minimum effort (and commitment!) from the bencher and keeps options open with the benchees."
The reason people keep a lover hanging, rather than ditching them out of kindness, is because there are so many options to choose from.
Selina and Vicki added: "We have more dating choice than ever before, but it’s actually more of a hindrance than a help as too much choice overwhelms us and makes it harder to make a decision.
"We keep our options open because we don’t want to risk making the wrong choice.
"Even when we do choose and commit to a date, in the back of our mind is the notion that someone better could be out there."
The love specialists suggested that people who believe they are being benched should instigate a meet up and if the person fails to turn up, it is a sign they are not worth your time.