I couldn’t eat and felt achy so thought I had a stomach bug – I actually needed a new ORGAN but got a wife too
A MAN whose ‘flu’ symptoms left him living on borrowed time found love with his healthcare assistant while waiting for an organ transplant.
Kirstie’s love and care kept Ethan Gabriel, 31, going - and almost three years later, she helped nurse him back to health when he received a new kidney.
The couple tied the knot in October 2023, 10 years on from meeting in hospital.
Kirstie Gabriel, 32, who worked on the dialysis unit at the time, knew her patient’s life was on the line.
Ethan was at his lowest while having treatment three times a week.
It was only when Kirstie came into his life that things began to turn around for him.
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"When starting dialysis, I was turning up full of fluid, from drinking alcohol the night before," Ethan said.
"I was sure I was going to die so I’d essentially given up.
"But Kirstie gave me a kick up the backside. She saved me."
The pair live in Central Bedfordshire and have a one-year-old daughter, Aria.
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But getting married and starting a family was something Ethan thought might never happen for him when he was diagnosed with kidney failure – a condition that he first put down to a stomach bug or flu.
His symptoms started showing at the age of 19.
"I was in my last year of studying, was working part-time, and had applied for university when I started feeling unwell," he said.
"I couldn’t eat properly, I felt achy and was being sick.
"I searched my symptoms and put it down to something viral. But weeks later, I got worse.
"As well as being sick, I felt weak, lightheaded and was unusually breathless when playing football and badminton.
"When I wasn’t getting any better, I went to my GP who did a urine test and took bloods."
Ethan was told he would get his results in a week, but just hours after his appointment he was called back to the surgery urgently.
"When I got there, I was told my creatinine levels were sky high and my kidney function was very low, and I was sent straight to Lister Hospital in Stevenage," he said.
"That’s where I was diagnosed with kidney failure and told I’d need dialysis until an organ was found for transplantation."
'I was sure I was going to die'
Creatinine is a waste product from protein and muscle breakdown. High levels can signal kidney issues.
"Doctors told me I’d been experiencing what’s known as the 'silence symptoms'," Ethan said.
"I was also warned that because I was black, it would take longer to find a match.
"I was sure I was going to die. I’d gone from having the world at my feet to putting my life on hold.
"I had to end my driving lessons, stop working, and knew I could no longer fulfil my dream of studying food product development at university."
In May 2013, Ethan started treatment at the Bedford Dialysis Unit.
"I was scared, depressed and sad, despite the staff being so kind and trying to put me at ease," he said.
"Then one day, I spotted one healthcare assistant with beautiful blue eyes and long brown hair.
"Her name was Kirstie, and she was just so lovely and caring.
"She was 20 at the time, just slightly older than me, and we had a lot in common.
"We also chatted about issues outside of dialysis, such as diet and fluid intake.
"She was so good at listening and giving advice without judgement.
"Our time together felt really special and we soon became good friends.
"I started to look forward to dialysis because I got to see Kirstie and whenever she did my treatment for me, I knew we’d always have a laugh and chat for hours."
It took us four years to get our beautiful daughter, but Aria was worth the wait. She is our world and we couldn’t be happier
Kirstie Gabriel
Almost a year after meeting, Ethan asked Kirstie if she would like to go out on a date on Valentine’s Day.
"We went for curry and to the cinema," he said.
"I think that’s when we realised we both felt the same way about each other and a few months later, we became an official couple."
After three years on dialysis, in May 2016, Ethan got the call – one which he nearly didn’t answer.
"I was at home making fish and chips for lunch when Kirstie came over after finishing a bank shift," he said.
"She saw an unknown number calling my phone, which I planned to ignore. But she said: ‘What if it’s the transplant coordinator?’
"I answered the call and sure enough, it was Addenbrooke's Hospital announcing they had found a kidney for me.
"After I hung up, Kirstie and I were screaming with excitement."
What is kidney failure?
ACUTE kidney failure is when your kidneys suddenly stop working properly.
It means they are unable to remove salt, water and waste products from the bloodstream.
There are three main causes - depending on whether they affect the flow of blood to the kidneys, the kidneys themselves, or the flow of urine from the kidneys.
Like many illnesses, the symptoms of kidney failure can vary hugely from person to person. However, they can include:
- Passing only a small amount of urine or no urine at all
- Discoloured urine (like tea or coca cola)
- Puffiness in the feet and legs
- Swollen abdomen
- Weight gain
- Tiredness or a lack of energy
- Nausea
- Vomiting
- Generally feeling unwell
Treatments can also vary, but the aim is to remove the cause of acute renal failure if possible and to keep the amount of salts and minerals at the correct levels in your body while your kidneys recover.
Depending on the cause, you may need dialysis - the process of removing waste products and excess fluid from the blood. Most people recover.
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The couple headed to the hospital, where Ethan was given blood tests, had a dialysis session, and checks were carried out on the donor organ.
The following day, he underwent the kidney transplant.
Ethan, who ended up studying environmental health at university and now works as a food safety consultant for the council, said the surgery changed his life.
"I suffered a haematoma and fluid overload but overall, the transplant was a success," he said.
"Two weeks later, I felt like a new man. I was bursting with energy and couldn’t wait to get up and learn to run again, before I could even walk."
The identity of Ethan’s donor was not disclosed, but he was informed it was a male who had lived in the North of England, who had been killed in a motorbike accident.
"It’s such a mixture of emotions," he said.
"I feel so sad for my donor’s family having lost him, but I’m also beyond grateful.
"Him signing up to the donor register meant I was given another chance at life.
"The icing on the cake is that I not only found a donor match, but I found a love match along the way too.
"Thank you so much to my donor and his family. I will never take this chance at life for granted."
Kirstie, now a midwife, said: "At the very beginning, Ethan was just like any other patient but once I got to know him, we realised we had a lot in common and formed a close bond.
"During the first year of our relationship I was constantly worried about Ethan’s health.
"I kept thinking, 'Is he ever going to get a transplant? Is he going to die waiting for one?'
"It was hard caring for him at times, particularly if he was having a bad day where he felt very unwell, but we got through it and I’ll never forget the day he got the phone call for the kidney transplant.
"We were both nervous and excited.
"We’ve had many hard times and we often talk about how far we’ve come.
"When it was all happening, we would never have believed we would get married, but we did and it was a wonderful day.
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"It took us four years to get our beautiful daughter, and I eventually got pregnant via IVF in Prague.
"Aria was worth the wait and worth every penny. She is our world and we couldn’t be happier."