‘FEAR OF GOD'
Mum, 29, who suffered ‘hysterical crying and panic attacks’ discovers deadly cause after blaming break up
She could have suffered serious 'issues' if doctors did not eventually spot her condition
A MUM was shocked to discover the true reason for her “hysterical” panic attacks after six years.
Madeleine Dippnall, 29, was told by doctors the episodes were caused by depression and PTSD, which she put down to the end of a traumatic relationship.
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But she was diagnosed with epilepsy after suffering a seizure out of the blue last year.
Since being diagnosed, she's been taking the medicine lamotrigine and said her depression has "literally washed away".
Speaking about her diagnosis, the graphic designer said: "I felt relief — now I know what's going on."
Around 630,000 Brits live with epilepsy, according to Epilepsy Action.
Read more on epilepsy
The neurological condition causes seizures that can vary in severity.
Every year 1,000 people die from causes related to epilepsy.
Half of these were caused by sudden unexpected death in epilepsy (SUDEP) — when someone with epilepsy dies and no obvious cause of death can be found.
Symptoms can include uncontrollable jerking and shaking, losing awareness, becoming stiff, collapsing and strange sensations like a "rising" feeling in the tummy.
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Some people with epilepsy are told they are having panic attacks when they are actually experiencing seizures.
Madeleine was first diagnosed with a variety of mental health problems including anorexia — during which her weight plunged less than six stone — aged 22.
I thought my little boy was having a stroke before medics revealed his shock diagnosis, says Kildare dad
Madeleine, then living in an affluent part of North West London, was in a "traumatic" relationship in her 20s.
After the breakup, she went to live with her parents in Cornwall to catch some respite.
She said: "I needed to be by the sea. We had to get away. It was horrible".
But despite leaving the relationship, Madeleine suffered from constant panic attacks — especially when she was around a group of people.
If this went untreated I could have really had issues
Madeleine Dippnall
She said: "You have the adrenaline equivalent to being on a roller-coaster. Everything sweats. I'd have to go to the toilet to be sick.
"I'd be hysterically crying. You have this fear of God in you that something awful is going to happen.
"My mum used to put my head under a cold water sink. Sometimes I'd get catatonic. I couldn't move. I'd go within myself.
"But if you were looking at me you wouldn't really know what was going on."
She went to a psychiatrist who diagnosed her with PTSD, anxiety, depression and anorexia.
But the anorexia specialist she went to see separately told her she didn't have an eating disorder.
MENTAL HEALTH TREATMENT
She was given anti-sickness medication, sleeping pills and appetite-inducing medication, but this only helped with "20 per cent" of the issues that were going on.
She said: "It was a bit frustrating.”
Madeleine took the drugs for about three years but seeing few signs of improvement.
One night in April 2023, she woke up with the insides of her mouth bleeding after having a seizure.
Madeleine said: "My body was cramping all over. I had bitten the insides of my mouth.
"I had a nocturnal seizure, a tonic clonic [where the muscles twitch and start jerking]. The next night I woke up on the bathroom floor.
"I said to Chris, my husband, oh my God I think I've had a seizure.
"I went to the GP and he put through an urgent referral. I was diagnosed with temporal lobe epilepsy.
"I felt relieved. I was angry at all these authoritative people who told me I had mental problems.”
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She added: "If this went untreated I could have really had issues. My dad had an instinct all along. He said, 'those are not normal panic attacks that you're having'.
"I had a seizure when I was about 19 but it wasn't investigated properly because of the way I reacted to the tests.
"I felt like something was going on and there was something wrong with me. I felt like no one was listening to me."
Since her diagnosis, she's been able to enjoy her life again with her step-children, two-year-old son, Bo, and husband Chris, 35, who works as a carpenter.
She's currently not allowed to drive because of the diagnosis, which is inconvenient for Madeleine because driving is such a "big thing around here".
Madeleine said she's building up a new graphic design business from her off-grid cabin where she lives.
She said: "I've made something positive out of this and the business which is doing really well.
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"Since being on the epilepsy medication I haven't had a single episode and my depression has literally washed away.
"My husband says the difference is like night and day."
What are the symptoms of epilepsy?
Seizures can affect people in different ways, depending on which part of the brain is involved.
Possible symptoms include:
- uncontrollable jerking and shaking, called a "fit"
- losing awareness and staring blankly into space
- becoming stiff
- strange sensations, such as a "rising" feeling in the tummy, unusual smells or tastes, and a tingling feeling in your arms or legs
- collapsing
Sometimes you might pass out and not remember what happened.
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