Mum with cyst so big it ‘looks like a dangling mini penis’ can’t wear normal knickers or have sex with her husband

A PREGNANT mum is pleading for help with giant cysts which have driven her to the point of despair.

Kandy Dolor, from Harrow, has two vaginal cysts, one the size of a small orange, and a second which looks like a "mini-penis".

Despite five separate surgeries, doctors have been unable to correct the problem, and one year on, she is speaking out to overcome the stigma of her condition.

The condition has left Kandy unable to walk properly, look after her family, work, and enjoy intimacy with her husband, Ayanda, who she married only two weeks ago.

The couple are expecting their first child together, but Kandy says the pregnancy has been overshadowed by her constant battle with pain.

She says: “The first cyst is so large, I sometimes can’t even wear regular underwear.

"The second is long and thin, like a finger. To me, it looks like a mini penis. I can feel it dangling and hanging there and it’s mortifying.

“I feel so embarrassed, and yet I have to speak out. I really feel as though I have no choice. I have suffered in silence for so long and I am desperate for help.

“I also want to reach out to other women who have the same condition. I hope it can be some comfort to them that they are not alone.

“A male colleague actually refused to sit next to me when he heard about my cyst and that broke my heart. I felt like an outcast.

"I actually began telling people I had a problem with my leg because I was too ashamed to tell them the truth.”

Mum of two Kandy, 38, was perfectly fit and healthy until December 2022 when she noticed a small cyst on the right side of her vulva.

She says: “I’d actually had a similar cyst aged 18 and it was removed without a problem. I presumed this would be the same, so I wasn’t concerned.”

Her GP diagnosed a Bartholin cyst and prescribed antibiotics, but the cyst grew bigger and became inflamed.

'I couldn't walk and my life was on hold'

Kandy was referred to Northwick Park Hospital, Harrow, for surgery, but faced a wait because of bed shortages.

Kandy, a Harrow councillor and airline worker, says: “By this stage, the cyst was really big, it reached 11cms circumference. I couldn’t walk properly, I was on crutches, and I was in so much pain.

“My job involves a lot of walking, and I just couldn’t do it. On top of that, one of my children is disabled and needs support.

"My life was on hold. I kept being admitted to hospital, waiting 12 hours, and then sent home again.

“I even ordered numbing cream, a syringe and scalpel online, and I was going to try to drain it myself.

"But it was just so painful, I couldn’t bear it. I looked into private surgery too but was told it would cost me £13,000 which I can’t afford.”

By now, Kandy was advised that that simply removing the cyst would not cure the problem and she instead needed more complex surgery to remove her Bartholin gland.

She says: “I was warned that simply removing the cyst was not a long-term cure – it would just grow back. But there was no availability at the hospital for me to have the gland removed so I had to accept whatever help I could.”

To me, it looks like a mini penis. I can feel it dangling and hanging there and it’s mortifying

Kandy

Over a six-month period, Kandy had four surgeries to remove the cyst – but each time it started to regrow within days.

Then in July last year, she noticed a second lump, the shape of a finger, on her vagina.

It was explained to her that both lumps were backed up with fluid because her gland was blocked.

Three months on, she found a cyst in her right breast, which doctors believe was connected to the others. Though it was removed, it still causes Kandy discomfort.

'I've had anxiety and panic attacks'

She says: “I was horrified. Each time I examined myself, it just seemed to get worse. Both cysts were growing, to the point where it was uncomfortable for me to wear underwear.

“The second one, which looks exactly like a mini-penis, hangs down and I can feel it dangling.

"It makes me feel like a freak, which is a terrible thing to say. It’s really affected my mental health, I’ve had anxiety and panic attacks. I don’t feel like I’m the same person any more.

“Ayanda is so supportive, and we got married in December 2023. But it has been really tough for him too.

"Any kind of intimacy between us is rare because I have really lost my confidence.

“I discovered I was pregnant in November, and I was so shocked.

"It’s lovely news, of course, but I also feel like my pregnancy has been spoiled by the cysts.

“This is a time in my life when I am supposed to celebrate being a woman, yet I don’t feel feminine at all. Every part of me that makes me female is under attack.

“I don’t confide in many people, but one male colleague asked if he could not sit next to me in a meeting, when he learned about the cysts. It was so cruel. I felt absolutely vilified.

“I need painkillers and numbing creams just to get through the day, and when people ask what’s wrong, I tell them I’ve hurt my leg. I can’t bear to say it out loud.

“I am pleading for help. I know there are other women with Bartholin cysts, and I want to reach out to them too. I want them to know they are not alone.

“The cysts are not my fault, they are a naturally occurring condition, and I shouldn’t be made to feel embarrassed or ashamed. I would really appreciate support from people around me.”

A spokesman for Northwick Park Hospital said: “We are very sorry to hear that Miss Dolor was not satisfied with her care during 2022. 

"Unfortunately, Ms Dolor’s condition is one that is known to recur, and our team therefore offered her a further surgical procedure at the end of 2022. 

“Miss Dolor did not go ahead with this procedure. We can only apologise if there was any miscommunication on our part that may have contributed to her decision.

“We understand that Miss Dolor’s GP has now made her a new referral and that she has an appointment booked soon.

“We would be happy to investigate any specific concerns that Miss Dolor has in relation to her care, and would encourage her to contact our patient advice and liaison service so that we can do so.”