Parents warned of the sinister meaning behind ‘back to school necklace’ TikTok trend
SCHOOLS are returning this week and many kids will be looking forward to getting back into the classroom.
But some will be dreading it - and parents have been warned of a sinister phrase gaining attention on TiKTok that may also be a cry for help.
A “back to school necklace” is a euphemism for suicide which has been around for years.
Ever growing communication on social media platforms means it may reach more youngsters than ever.
It’s normal to have preterm jitters, but some kids may feel extra nervous about school for reasons such as bullying.
Dr Ariana Hoet, clinical director of On Our Sleeves and a paediatric psychologist at Nationwide Children’s Hospital, said when children make references to phrases like "back-to-school necklace”, they don’t necessarily have the intention of harming themselves.
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However, she told whether the phrase is used in jest or not, parents should take it seriously and assess their child’s true feelings.
Dr Hoet doesn’t deny that children who are truly feeling hopeless or worthless are a concern.
NHS figures show a record number of children and young people are waiting to start mental health care or undergoing treatment in England.
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The figure reached 420,314 in February — an increase of 54 per cent since February 2020 and the highest figure since records began in 2016.
Over 200 schoolchildren are lost to suicide every year in the UK, according to (Prevention of Young Suicide).
The charity, dedicated to the prevention of suicide in young people, says it’s research has found that one in ten teachers said, on average, a student shares suicidal thoughts with them once a term or more.
Who to talk to
Papyrus,, 0800 068 41 41
Samaritans, , 116 123
Childline, , 0800 1111
CALM, , 0800 585 858
Heads Together,
Mind, , 0300 123 3393
How to talk to your child about mental health
It can be daunting to ask a child about their mental health.
But research has indicated that asking a young person if they are experiencing thoughts of suicide can actually reduce the risk of them ending their life.
PAPYRUS says you should be as direct as possible when asking a child about suicide.
It says to use the word suicide (and practice first if it helps to build confidence) and look your child in the eye if you ask “'are you thinking about suicide?”.
Stay calm so that your child does not fear your reaction.
When it comes to watching for signs that you child is depressed or thinking about suicide, Dr Nihara Krause, a consultant clinical psychologist and founder of youth mental health charity stem4, said the signs are not necessarily “looking sad”.
The signs that a child is feeling depressed or even experiencing thoughts of suicice include expressing thoughts of sadness and hopelessness.
They may say things such as “I can’t take it anymore”, “Everyone would be better off without me”.
Physically, a child may withdraw socially and from family, give away possessions, lose weight, have a change in their sleep or eating habits, struggle to concentrate, or do activities that are self-soothing, like gaming.
Dr Krause told The Sun: “Childhood or adolescent depression should always be diagnosed by a suitably qualified professional, since not all young people have all the symptoms described.
“In fact many will show different symptoms in different settings. The important thing in these instances is to not discredit them as a result.”
Quiz on your child’s mental health
Harley Street-based psychotherapist,, previously shared with The Sun a quiz to help parents get to the bottom of their child's state of mind.
Susan's quiz simply requires you to pick one of four answers for each question.
Tot up the scores at the end.
Sleeping habits
My child's sleeping habits have become notably disturbed. They are experiencing periods of insomnia, have constant waking's or need to sleep excessively (over 11 hours per night). Bed wetting may also be an issue.
- Almost all the time (4)
- Sometimes (3)
- Rarely (2)
- Never (0)
Mood
There has been an apparent change in their mood which is consistently low or fluctuates drastically between a depressive state and elation or happiness. They may struggle to concentrate on tasks or lash out unpredictably.
- Almost all the time (4)
- Sometimes (3)
- Rarely (2)
- Never (0)
Eating habits
Erratic eating, a lack of appetite or excessive consumption has become a significant issue for my child. There has been a notable rise or drop in their weight, eating habits have changed and they cover up in baggy clothes. Self-confidence is related undoubtedly to the success of their weight goals.
Almost all the time (4)
Sometimes (3)
Rarely (2)
Never (0)
Gaming and social media
My child spends far more time on games, social media or interacting with their phone or tablet than they do with family and friends. They struggle to maintain close friendships or seem immensely distracted or disinterested in personal communication and instead choose to lock themselves into their rooms.
- Almost all the time (4)
- Sometimes (3)
- Rarely (2)
- Never (0)
Anxiety
My child is notably uptight and excessively worried. They have unexpected panic attacks about perceived issues or feel agitated carrying out basic or social tasks. They may struggle to make decisions or be reluctant to leave the house.
- Almost all the time (4)
- Sometimes (3)
- Rarely (2)
- Never (0)
Desire for attention
My child shies away from attention and has little wish to communication or tries to consume attention at the expense of those around them. They show little consideration for the needs or requirements of others.
- Almost all the time (4)
- Sometimes (3)
- Rarely (2)
- Never (0)
Addictive or obsessive behaviour
Repetitive or excessive activities are impacting badly on daily functions.
These could range from obsessions with food, eating, drugs, alcohol or other.
- Almost all the time (4)
- Sometimes (3)
- Rarely (2)
- Never (0)
Perfectionism and self-criticism
My child is excessively over-critical about their physical appearance, mental ability or other aspects of their lives. They focus on flaws and are visibly distressed or grossly disappointed in themselves for any deviation from their desired path. This really interferes with their daily life.
- Almost all the time (4)
- Sometimes (3)
- Rarely (2)
- Never (0)
Bullying
There has been a marked change in attitude towards peers, friends and classmates or social isolation has been a long-term issue. Their self-confidence is incredibly low, or my child has expressed the belief that they are worthless or unlikeable despite my assurances.
- Almost all the time (4)
- Sometimes (3)
- Rarely (2)
- Never (0)
Loss of a loved one or separation
Your child has experienced a traumatic life event – such as the death of a loved one or a divorce or separation of a family. This has resulted in a notable change in behaviour including withdrawal, anger or extreme sadness.
- Almost all the time (4)
- Sometimes (3)
- Rarely (2)
- Never (0)
The results
Less than 10: Your child may be worrying about something, but that could be part of the ups and downs of daily life. Keep a close eye on the situation and then consider intervening if these behaviours persist or intensify. If you have answered a 4 rating for two or more answers, monitor these specific behaviours closely.
11-20: Your child may be experiencing an issue. Gently talk to them and consider whether there are other problems under the surface. Seek further advice if more symptoms begin to show or if existing symptoms intensify.
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21- 30: Seek more info about issues that may be impacting significantly on your child's health. Talking gently but indirectly to your child about how they are feeling is important. Professional help from your GP or a professional is recommended.
31 - 40: There is a significant likelihood your child is struggling with a mental health issue that needs treatment. You should urgently get a second opinion from a professional – preferably a GP, a counsellor, physician or a psychologist
