When Sue Tollefsen had her first baby at the age of 57, she didn't expect to a be single mum three years later. But like Madonna, who is now a single mum of six at 60, Sue faces the struggles of lone parenting at the age of 67
BEING a single mum to 10-year-old Freya wasn’t what Sue Tollefsen had expected be doing at the age of 67.
But then as a young woman she'd never planned to become Britain’s oldest mum when she gave birth at 57, either.
Neither did Madonna. The superstar mum - who refers to herself as a #momdad on social media - said in a recent interview: “Six kids, no husband, single mum — I never thought that would be me.”
Having kids late brings a whole host of problems you wouldn't think about - like surviving on a pension, struggling with fatigue and being mistaken for a grandmother.
But more and more women are having kids later in life.
And like model and actor Brigitte Neilsen - who had her fifth baby last month at the age of 54 - Sue has received a lot of criticism for her decision become an older mum.
Sue and former partner, Nick Mayer, now 56, decided to try for a baby in 2007, and had Freya in 2008 via IVF with a donor egg from a clinic in Russia - costing them £15,000.
Sue left it too late to conceive naturally after caring for her parents for most of her adult life.
But her relationship with Nick didn’t last and now 67-year-old Sue is just like superstar Madonna, who’s a single mum to six kids and is about to turn 60.
Sue - who retired from her position as a special needs teacher in February - now spends her time trying to keep up with mums half her age as she chases around after 10-year-old Freya.
Sue told Sun Online: “When I was growing up, in a perfect world you thought you’d meet a guy, get married and have children - but life gets in the way.”
"When I found out I was pregnant at 57, I thought I was getting everything I’d wanted - I expected that when we had this child it would complete our lives," Sue says.
But after having Freya - a child she'd longed for all her life - Sue realised family life with Nick and her newborn wasn’t as perfect as she’d imagined.
Sue said: “Things weren’t the same with Nick. His life hadn’t changed. He still went out to football and cricket matches, and my life now revolved around taking care of a child.
"I really tried to make it work because it wasn’t fair to Freya but we hardly seemed to talk anymore.”
Freya was two-and-a-half when Sue moved out of the family home, taking her daughter with her.
"I didn’t plan to be a single mum in my 60s," Sue explains. "But I knew I’d rather be on my own with Freya than in a relationship that wasn’t working.”
But being a single mum at an age when many women are becoming grandmothers wasn’t easy for Sue.
She said: “Most of the time I’m very organised, but when you’re a single parent and you run out of milk while your baby is sleeping, you can’t just run out of the house.
Little Freya doesn’t realise it’s unusual to have a pensioner for a mum -because she’s never known any different.
But Sue regularly gets mistaken for Freya’s grandmother.
“We were on holiday in Bodrum when a lady said to Freya, ‘isn’t it nice that your grandmother brought you on holiday?'" she says.
"Freya was shocked and said, ‘She’s not my grandmother, she’s my mumma!'”
Most of Sue's single mum friends are a lot younger but she's become close friends with one of Freya's friends' grandmothers.
"Sometimes the young mums go out on a girlie night on a Friday but that never appealed to me," Sue says.
"I don't feel left out - even on sports day I ran in the race and I didn't come last."
Sue’s in good health, but she admits that being a single mum when you’re just three years away from turning 70 takes its toll.
Their day-to-day life is just like any other single mum's - except Sue takes time out of her day to have a sit down to make sure she doesn't get too tired.
“Being an older mum, you need some me-time and to eat well," she says.
"I get more tired than I used to so I pace myself and do what I can, when I can. I used to have bags of energy but I've learned I need to slow down now.
"I don't live like most retired people do. Going to the park, taking Freya swimming, these are things people in their 30s and 40s do.
"I have retired friends who go on cruises and ladies that lunch, but I feel very lucky to have Freya, so I'm not jealous of anybody else."
"I’m a bit fearless and I try my best to do everything I can with Freya.
"We’re very close, we go cycling and skiing together."
We've created memory boxes in case I'm not around at some point
But Sue admits she's had to talk to Freya about her age - and how she might need a little extra help from her daughter.
"I was chatting to Freya about her untidy bedroom and I explained that Mummy's older and that means she needs to be self-sufficient," she says.
"I worry about my age but I try not to think about it. I don’t feel my age and I don’t act it.
"I do wish I’d been a bit more selfish and I’d been brave enough to have a baby on my own when I was younger.”
Sue's planning to talk to Nick about what to do if anything happens to her before Freya's 18.
At the moment, Sue's cousin in Norway has agreed to have her but there are details to work out.
"We've created memory boxes with things like newspaper clippings about Freya, photos from holidays and cards she's been sent, in case I'm not around at some point," Sue explains. "I don't want her to feel like she's at a disadvantage for having an older mum"
And Sue admits she's struggled with money since becoming an older mum.
"I had no idea that one day I’d have to bring up a child on a pension," Sue says.
"But Freya doesn’t go without anything - if anybody does, it’s me.”
Sue gets £1,773 a month from two pensions and child benefit.
She's renting a 5-bed detached house in Derbyshire for £995 a month - leaving just £778 for food, bills and anything Freya needs.
"I spend virtually nothing on myself. I don't buy new clothes, my summer trousers are 11 or 12 years old," she says.
"We had no holiday last year and we won't have one this year, instead we'll go on days out near home over the summer.
"Freya's really into dollies and I can sew so I'm going to teach her how to use the sewing machine to make doll's clothes."
"All I can say is I wish I had Madonna’s support network - and a bit more money would be nice. But you can’t have everything."
