I’m a nanny of 20 years and here are six ways to get your toddler to stop having tantrums in minutes
ALL those hours of trawling the internet and dragging yourself round shops researching buggies.
The many day dreams spent envisaging the lovely outings you will be able to have with your little one - but then they have a tantrum.
And, of course, not forgetting the huge hole it left in your wallet after you finally picked your perfect pram.
It all blew up in your face the moment your toddler decided that, actually, there is no worse place on earth to be than in that uber sleek, ultra-secure and high-tech stroller.
Sophie Giles, parenting and behavioural consultant and founder of the, has been working with children for more than 20 years and has come across her fair share of ‘pram refusers’ in her time.
Here, she shares her six tips and tricks to help parents turn hellish hikes with their tot into saintly strolls to remember.
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ASSESS YOUR PRAM
The first thing to rule out is any possible discomfort.
Sophie explains: “Some of the strollers you can get like the YOYO and things, after your child reaches a certain age, they become very cramped.
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“So for a child who doesn’t particularly like to be strapped in anyway, the sensory stimulus can be overwhelming and they may kick off.”
She also recommends investing in a pram with an easy-to-do clasp.
She says: “Some of them are really faffy and if it’s taking forever and your child is planking, then it’s so much harder than if you’ve bought a buggy and deliberately looked at how easy it is to do the straps up.”
MANAGE EXPECTATIONS
Sophie says: “If you’re ripping a child away from something that they are really engrossed in and engaged with to stick them into a place they don’t really want to be, you’re going to get a kick off.
“So, if you can, allow them enough time and give them fair warning.”
The child expert recommends avoiding time limits though as time is too abstract for little ones to grasp.
She explains: “Try a tangible cue that they can relate to.
“In a playground, for example, ‘We’re going to go on two more things, then you’re getting in the buggy and we’re going home’.
“So they can psychologically prepare for the fact it’s going to happen, but it doesn’t come as a sudden shock.”
Make sure you’re by their side ready to take their hand or pop them in the buggy at the end of the second activity though, otherwise they’re likely to run off!
If your early warning sends your toddler into a meltdown, Sophie advises cornering them a little bit in a safe space with your body positioned to make sure they can’t dash off somewhere dangerous – and keeping calm.
So they can psychologically prepare for the fact it’s going to happen, but it doesn’t come as a sudden shock
Sophie
She continues: “You just say, ‘No worries, just let me know when you’re ready’.
“Most children are not going to last longer than a few minutes before they decide that sitting on the floor doing nothing but protesting doesn’t really compare to just getting in the buggy and going to the next place that you’re going to.”
Telling kids what they’re doing now, then and after can also help.
Sophie explains: “Lots of children, if you’re managing their expectations like that, will hold onto what’s happening after, and they’ll be focusing on that and not so much what’s happening right now.”
ASK THEM TO HOLD SOMETHING
Giving young children the responsibility of holding something just before you put them in the pram is a great trick for tempering any tantrums.
Sophie explains: “Often if you give them something tactile to hold, that will override everything else and provide a nice sensory distraction.
“Their focus will be on trying to hold onto their snack or toy which means they don’t quite notice as much that you’re about to put them in the buggy.”
USE INCENTIVES
Incentives should never be your first port of call as a parent, but occasionally, needs must.
Sophie says: “If there’s a special snack that you’re prepared to give them, then it only happens once they’re in the buggy.
“If they’re a young child, you have to make sure that, while they’re eating that snack, you can actually see them and they’re not going to choke silently on it in a forward-facing buggy.”
AVOID (AND REVERSE) NEGATIVE ASSOCIATIONS
Unless your tot requires immediate attention, Sophie encourages parents to distract them and disrupt the meltdown before taking them out of the pram to avoid inadvertently creating negative associations.
She explains: “The danger you’ve got is that your child assumes that, because you were so reactive to them, there was actually a reason to fuss.
“Because look, mummy responded in a stressful way and ‘rescued me’, therefore this can’t be a very safe place to be.
“Even if it’s just for a few seconds, if you can get them to stop crying before you get them out, then you’ve helped to avoid creating that negative association.”
GIVE AN OPTION (IF IT’S SAFE TO DO SO)
If your child dislikes going in the pram, consider whether it’s really necessary for the trip you’re making.
Sophie says: “If it’s safe to do so, then you can give them an option: ‘We’re leaving, but would you like to walk and hold my hand or would you like to go in the buggy?’ – or on the buggy board if you’ve got one.”
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