Bad dates and ghosting leave single Brits facing crippling mental health issues, experts warn
"GHOSTING", bad dates and poor body confidence are causing more single Brits to suffer from devasting mental health crises, a new study has found.
The brutal nature of modern-day dating has seen more and more people be diagnosed with anxiety, depression and sleep disorders.
Being "ghosted", which is when someone you're dating suddenly stops messaging or calling, is one of the most common triggers, as is worry about having sex with a new partner.
And in an age of Love Island and #fitspo, many say that struggling with body image has made their love life more difficult too.
"Gaslighting" is becoming an issue
The real worry is the number of people who say that they've been "gaslighted" by a potential partner.
The term comes from the 1944 film, Gaslight, starring Hollywood icon Ingrid Bergman as a woman who is deliberately forced to question her sanity by a manipulative partner.
It's a form of ongoing psychological abuse and control where the abuser makes their victim question their own memory, self-image, self-worth and sanity.
And although it can happen in any environment, it tends to be a lot more common in relationships.
It's so prevalent, in fact, that "gaslight" was named as one of the most popular words of 2018 by Oxford Dictionaries.
Around one in ten singles say that gaslighting has, understandably, ruined their mental health.
10 signs your loved one could be at risk of suicide
There are several warning signs that a person is at risk of suicide.
But it's vital you know that they won't always be obvious.
Lorna Fraser of the Samaritans said looking out for subtle personality changes in friends and family, especially if you know they have been going through a tough time.
These are the key signs to watch out for:
- A change in routine, such as sleeping or eating less than normal
- Lacking energy or appearing particularly tired
- Drinking, smoking or using drugs more than usual
- Finding it hard to cope with everyday things
- Not wanting to do things they usually enjoy
- Becoming withdrawn from friends and family – not wanting to talk or be with people
- Appearing more tearful
- Appearing restless, agitated, nervous, irritable
- Putting themselves down in a serious or jokey way, for example 'Oh, no one loves me', or 'I'm a waste of space'
- Losing interest in their appearance, not liking or taking care of themselves or feeling they don't matter
No longer a taboo
Overall, 54 per cent of singles say they've struggled with poor mental health, but say that talking about mental health within modern dating isn't that taboo anymore.
Even in relationships, 50 per cent of the couples surveyed by has been affected by a mental health issue.
However, most couples say that their relationships have ended up stronger after opening up to their partner about their problems.
42 per cent of people in couples said that talking had made them feel safe and empowered to discuss their specific issues to a partner, while half said that being in a relationship had positively impacted on their mental health.
"Massively encouraging"
Psychotherapist Lucy Beresford said: “What’s massively encouraging from this research is that so many people – whether they’re dating or in a relationship – are benefitting from starting a conversation about their mental health.
"Intimate relationships can provide the support people need to improve their mental wellbeing, and can allow us to experience tolerance, understanding and being loved for who we are.
“At the same time, it’s useful to be reminded that relationships and dating can create negative triggers for mental health.
"Whether it’s anxieties around body confidence or sexual performance, feeling like your mental health diagnosis is misunderstood, or confusion around modern dating protocols, knowing that your mental health could be affected means you’re in a better position to take your self-care seriously.
"If mental health issues are affecting you or your relationship, professional help is available and can make the world of difference.”
YOU'RE NOT ALONE
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost - to suicide.
It doesn't discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society - from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It's the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet it's rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
That is why The Sun launched the You're Not Alone campaign.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let's all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others... You're Not Alone.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
- CALM, , 0800 585 858
- Heads Together,
- Mind, , 0300 123 3393
- Papyrus,, 0800 068 41 41
- Samaritans, , 116 123
According to the mental health charity , one in four of us will experience a mental health problem each year, with one in six reporting a common issue like anxiety or depression in any given week.
So pretending that poor mental health doesn't exist isn't really an option anymore.
Rachael Lloyd, relationship expert at eharmony, said: “We applaud both singles and couples for admitting they sometimes battle mental health issues.
“We encourage those battling anxiety-related conditions to be bold in their search for love.
MORE ON MENTAL HEALTH
"We know that high levels of neuroticism can impact on overall relationship satisfaction.
"But even if there are mental health struggles present, couples who communicate well, score high on conflict resolution and are adaptable can and do have happy relationships in the long term.”
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