As Imogen Thomas throws her knickers into the ring, why DO women fancy bland Ken doll Jamie Redknapp so much?
JAMIE Redknapp keeps exploding celeb ovaries simply by existing. And I just don’t get it.
First, jungle babe Emily Atack gushed over the Sky Sports pundit on I’m A Celebrity.
She grilled dad Harry about his son’s marital status and joked: “Ooh imagine, Emily Redknapp, I would make a really good daughter-in-law.”
She then mouthed “Call me” to camera while joking about her crush.
And now Imogen Thomas has thrown her pants (sorry... hat) into the ring too.
The former Big Brother star told new! Magazine: “My ideal is Jamie…[he] seems really kind and he’s gorgeous.”
My response to this outpouring of oestrogen is simply: “Ladies...WHY?”
Don’t get me wrong, I know he’s handsome.
Buffed, coiffed and besuited, Jamie looks like every teen girl’s idea of a Ken doll made flesh.
I can see that he’s an advertiser’s dream too.
From modelling M&S dilfwear to playing golf in just his jeans for Thomas Cook, Redknapp is a hunk.
Also worth a couple of quid, the face of Avon’s Elite Gentleman (barf) fragrance is clearly a catch on paper.
But dating him for real? I’d rather watch the lacquer on his expertly groomed hair dry.
Because in over 20 years of fame, he’s never once made me laugh.
The only one on A League of Their Own not to crack a decent joke, Jamie is a chat vacuum.
Don’t believe me? Look up his exchange about eggs with Richard Ayoade from a 2013 episode.
As Ayoade mocks Redknapp mercilessly, those baby brown eyes first react with anger and then simply glaze over.
By the end of the ribbing, they seem like a kind of fathomless black hole where lolz go to die.
He’s clearly vain too. Moisturised to within an inch of his life, Jamie looks perfect all the time.
Can you even imagine trying to enjoy a hormonal, foundation-free day in your joggers with Bronzy McWaistcoat sat next to you on the couch?
Yet women just love him. A nation wept when Louise off Eternal nabbed him in 1998.
They ignore her recent claims she became “a Stepford wife” with no right to a career while married to the ex Liverpool hero.
Of course they do… they’re too busy dreaming of replacing her as his pinny-wearing ‘er indoors.
My main theory for this public devotion is Redknapp’s ability to be both handsome and distinctly average.
A midfielder by name and nature, there is no extreme side to Jamie that we’ve seen.
So he doesn’t really impress… but neither does he intimidate.
In the absence of any forceful identity, we can all fantasise him into being our dream man.
Yes he seems like a blank page on telly - but maybe he’s hilarious, sweet, brooding, cerebral at home.
And yes, you’d have an absolute sweetheart of a father-in-law if you made the leap. Jungle king Harry would liven up Christmas at a push.
But a whole evening in just Jamie’s company? Uh-oh, it’s Knapp time!
Call me picky but I’ll happily leave Emily and Imogen to fight over their favourite male dress-up doll.
Because to me, at the end of the day, Jamie’s pretty...dull.
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