Sex and masturbating as good as meditation at helping you de-stress
You don't have to sign up to a silent yoga class to benefit from some serious relaxation
SEX and meditation may not sound like natural bed-fellows.
One involves sitting cross-legged on the floor with your eyes closed, while the other is often noisy, sweaty and generally more pleasurable.
And let's be honest, most of us struggle to concentrate long enough to meditate or reach a mindful state.
But give us the option of a romp between the sheets, and we're on board.
Mediation has been found to have a tonne of positive effects on our health - from improving memory to reducing stress and decreasing blood pressure - while sex is a well-known stress reliever.
So it shouldn't come as any real surprise to learn that sex can be a form of meditation in and of itself.
"Cortisol actually reduces the libido (no time for sex if you’re on the run from a sabretooth tiger), so if you lower cortisol you can actually increase libido – which means you’ll want sex more.
"Your partner is bound to be flattered."
"Not only is it free but harnessing this will give you a better quality of life, better sex and greater long term happiness.
"Through meditation, one can achieve an ecstatic orgasmic state sometimes called Blissful Union.
"Throughout history, the stress-relieving benefits of sex and masturbation have been well chronicled," she says.
"Even the buttoned-up Victorians were responsible for the development of vibrators, allegedly to calm ‘hysterics’ through orgasm."
Dr Spurr says that having sex or giving yourself an orgasm can flood your body with feel-good chemicals including the emotional-bonding hormone oxytocin, dopamine and endorphins.
"It also leads to relaxation of your muscles after the intense muscular spasms of orgasm. So technically, climaxing is one of the best forms of achieving a deep, relaxing state.
"From there, you can take to the leap to turning sex into a meditative experience.
"Tantra practitioners have always encouraged people to let go of every other thought and be totally ‘in the moment’ with the sensations during arousal and climax.
"This ‘sexual mindfulness’ is a key part of it becoming like meditation because at the heart of meditation is a complete focus on something that allows you to shut out the world."
How to make sex as stress-busting as possible, according to Dr Spurr
Whether you’re up for flying solo or are with a partner, these tips will help make sex a meditative pleasure:
- To set the stage, keep telling yourself that you deserve sexual pleasure and peace of mind. This positive messaging is important!
- If with a partner, discuss with them before sex about how you want to enjoy all the sensations. Explain it may seem like you’re being ‘quiet’ but that you’re focusing your mind on your physical pleasure.
- Allow time to relax into this experience. Treat this as something that’ll benefit your wellbeing – and feel good.
- Turn off all tech and dim the lights or use candlelight.
- Have everything to hand that you enjoy during masturbation or sex, like massage oil.
- Have a soothing playlist ready if silence isn’t your thing.
- Clear your mind of everything apart from what you’re feeling in that moment.
- If with a partner, suggest putting your hands on each other’s chest or abdomen to get your breathing in sync before foreplay begins.
- As you caress each other, or take turns doing so, feel all of the sensations on your skin.
- Simply enjoy each moment as it comes.
- Finding your individual pleasure-zone which gives you the most sensations – like your clitoris – and focus on that. Some might find that too intense and prefer to vary where they or their partner touches.
- Don’t fret if you get distracted, as with all meditation just relax your mind again and get back in the moment.
Meditation and mindfulness have been proven to be good for us
Whether you like doing it or not, meditation has been proven to be good for us - both mentally and physically.
The less stressed we are, the better sex we're bound to have. And the better sex we have, the less stress we're likely to be.
Here are just some of the ways practising zen can improve your life:
1. Stress
Stress is believed to be the health crisis of the 21st century.
How many of feel as though we're run ragged all the time - and how many of find that it leaves us feeling too tired to get down and dirty in the bedroom?
It's no surprise that meditating and slowing everything right down can help with stress and anxiety.
Mental and physical stress ups our levels of the stress hormone cortisol and that can cause inflammation in the body (inflammation is responsible for lots of horrible, chronic illnesses).
An eight-week study showed that when people practised "mindfulness meditation", however, they dramatically reduced their inflammation response. Research has also shown that meditation can help to improve symptoms of IBS, PTSD and fibromyalgia too.
2. Memory
A review of 12 studies found that meditation might slow down age-related memory loss, while increasing attention and mental alertness in older people.
Mediation has also been found to partially improve the memory of people living with dementia.
3. Blood pressure
Stress sends our blood pressure soaring...so it follows that if you actively try to de-stress, you'll be able to bring it down a little.
A study of 996 volunteers found that meditation reduced their blood pressure by about five points.
The experiment was more effective among older volunteers and those who had high blood pressure before the study.
4. Pain control
Scientists from Wake Forest University School of Medicine used MRI scans to observe brain activity as people experienced pain.
Some had gone through four days of mindfulness meditation training, while the others hadn't.
The meditating patients showed increased activity in the parts of the brain known to control pain
5. Sleep
A 2015 study found that meditation can reduce insomnia and total wake time, with scientists concluding that it is "also an effective and accepted treatment for insomnia in older patients".
6. Addiction and
Struggling to give up smoking? Meditation might help. Research has shown that it can help people to learn how to redirect their attention, increase their willpower and control their emotions.
One study found that 19 recovering alcoholics who learnt how to meditate got better at controlling their cravings and craving-related stress.
7. Weight loss
Another review of 14 studies found that mindfulness meditation can also help with controlling food cravings - and so aid weight loss.
It found that participants tend to binge eat less after meditating because the practice helps people to avoid triggers.
So it's not just about improving your sex life - mindfulness can play a massive role in keeping every aspect of your body healthy.
But if you hate meditating, then use sex as a way of slowing down the mind.
The best bit? Sex with your partner is a lot cheaper than buying a meditation app subscription.
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