Peta Todd says holding grudges is one of her special skills but admits they can be a waste of energy
The mum-of-four would encourage her friends and family to breathe deeply and move on because you can't control or change these things
I HAVE a few talents in life, (modesty clearly not being one of them). I know all the lyrics from every old-skool garage song, I make perfect poached eggs every time and I can hold a grudge like an evil poltergeist in a horror film.
The older I become, the better I get at my grudge-holding, but the less happy I am about it.
I am one of those people who will bank every detail of an event so I can call on it at any given moment and give myself the raging hump with the same level of anger or hurt as the day it happened.
Perhaps it is an attribute I honed as a child when I thought I wanted to be an actress. I thought my biggest hurdle was going to be my ability to cry on demand and therefore used to challenge myself to think of a sad song, and my kittens going missing, to channel a faux tear.
If only I knew then that, in fact, the most fatal blow to my acting career would be my acting. But now, as a fully fledged adult, holding a grudge brings very little value to my life and in fact is not something I’m proud of – unlike my perfect poached eggs.
I can quite happily cut my nose off to spite my face when it comes to people who I feel have let me down or hurt me. Forgiving and forgetting is not in my repertoire.
But me – I am a frosty librarian storing all grievances in alphabetical order, in case they are ever needed.
Peta Todd
I would certainly encourage my children and friends to take a deep breath and move on with things, letting go of stuff they couldn’t control or change.
But me – I am a frosty librarian storing all grievances in alphabetical order, in case they are ever needed.
That’s not to say I am angry all the time – quite the opposite. I hate confrontation and can rub along with most people well, even those who are not in my fantasy league of humans.
I am just like an elephant that never forgets (and have the ears for that part, too).
Sometimes, I think a grudge can be a tool of self-preservation, but in other circumstances it is a massive waste of time and energy. What I need to get better at is differentiating between the two.
Some of my grudges have been for serious and totally justifiable reasons but many have been fickle.
The former can motivate me to do better, push harder, learn and grow. But the latter, I can brood over for days, letting the inky mark of the grudge bleed into everything I think of.
most read in Fabulous
I once held a grudge against a celebrity for five years – for something they did in my dream. Thankfully, this famous face doesn’t know who I am. So no harm done.
But having identified my grudge-holding ability, I am attempting to work on it.
I don’t showcase my late- Nineties garage-rap skills just any old time, so my grudges will be reserved for special occasions, too.