Naked buttocks, half an hour tending my lady garden and internal flossing… what happened when I wore the V-string bikini

IT’S the skimpy bikini trend that’s taken the internet by storm, but it turns out the barely-there style isn’t as glamorous as it looks.

When freelance writer, Michelle Andrews tried the V-string trend for News.com.au, she found the reality of wearing the tiny style was unpractical, high maintenance – and very painful.

“I’m not quite sure what compelled me to try a V-string bikini,” she wrote.

“… If you haven’t seen the v-string bikini trend, let me explain: For some ungodly reason, Australian swimwear brands have modernised the G-string.

“The G-string, you see, is apparently unacceptably conservative and covers way too much.

“Enter, the V-string bikini — something that will showcase every ingrown hair you’ve had since you were 17. Hooray!”

The podcast host from Melbourne went onto explain that the swimwear – made famous by Beginning Boutique – might seem like a bargain at just £23, but once you’ve factored in the “laser hair removal” and “labiaplasty”, the barely-there look doesn’t come cheap.

“It’s 2019 and, if my social media feed is anything to go by, side boob is out — side vagina is in,” she said.

“Once you factor in the necessary 10 rounds of laser hair removal (about £250) and Barbie-inspired labiaplasty (about £2,800), you’ll be looking at about £3,075 for the complete look.

“That’s provided you don’t get stung for public nudity, which could be punishable by a fine of up to £1120.

“Totally worth it for the Instagram photo, though.

“‘Take it to the beach with a white or red bikini top for a sizzling summer look,’ the brand promises on their website.

“So, that’s exactly what I did. At Melbourne’s iconic St Kilda beach.”

The writer explained she “spent 25 minutes in the shower, tending to [her] lady garden as if [she] was a brain surgeon” before hitting the beach.

However, she encountered problems just from walking.

“Whenever I stretched one leg out in front of the other, the bikini kind of made a dash for my internal organs. It feels like … flossing. For your insides,” she wrote.

And aside from the pain, Michelle also explained that she flashed her “pasty bum” several times, due to the (extremely) high-rise design.

The swimwear has been causing controversy for the last few weeks.

Earlier this month, we told you about the mum who parodied the sexy bikini advert to show how ridiculously skimpy the pants are.

And we told you the fashion brand has responded to the controversy by raising awareness of cervical cancer.

This story was syndicated with permission from .

Earlier this week, we told you celebrities brave the snow and ice in nothing but skimpy bikinis, in latest snowkini Instagram trend.

We also revealed glam mums urged NOT to worry about getting a bikini wax before giving birth… but midwives joke clean socks are appreciated

And we showed you ‘goat shoes’ are set to be 2019’s next big shoe trend – and they make your feet look like HOOVES.