My banker dad was stabbed to death by a heroin addict – but I didn’t realise HE was a drug dealer
Samantha Goldman battled PTSD and drink problems after the brutal murder of her beloved dad John
SAMANTHA Goldman was inconsolable when her banker father was stabbed to death by a heroin addict and she then discovered her "hero" dad was himself a secret drug dealer.
The 30-year-old, from Swindon, suffered post-traumatic stress and battled a drink problem after the murder of her 34-year-old dad John.
Fifteen years later, still wracked by grief, she decided to meet her dad’s killer, Daryl Kluk.
Here, she shares her heartbreaking story with Fabulous Digital.
I was due to meet my dad in a local café on March 20, 2004. When he didn’t show up, I was furious. It wasn't like him; he was my best friend and hero.
I wanted to talk to him about my law career plans. I left him an angry voicemail before giving up and going home.
Dad had split from my mum, Nicki, when I was little. Even though he didn’t live with us, he was always there. We met several times a week and had so much in common.
Three days later, I was sat in class at school when two policemen arrived - followed by my mum, whose eyes were bright red from crying.
I just knew something terrible had happened. Mum said dad had been killed, and although I heard her say the words, I physically couldn’t process them. I couldn’t accept that my hero had gone. I had always been a daddy’s girl and just like that, he’d been taken from me.
When we arrived back at our house, officers told us what had happened. They said dad had been on his way to meet me when heroin addict Daryl Kluk, 31, had dragged him into a nearby alleyway and stabbed him three times with a kitchen knife.
Moments later, Kluk had joined a group of his friends further up the street and bragged to them about what he’d done. Dad had managed to stagger home, leaving a trail of blood behind him. When he collapsed on his own doorstep, one of his neighbours called an ambulance.
As I’d waited for him in the café, dad had been fighting for his life. He died from his injuries that same afternoon.
It completely broke me and I was overtaken by grief. I’d gone from being a girl with huge plans to study law to someone who barely scrapped through her exams.
Everything had changed. It came as no surprise when I fell in with the wrong crowd and turned to alcohol to help me cope.
In November 2004 Kluk, then 32, appeared at Bristol Crown Court and pleaded guilty to dad's murder. He was jailed and told to serve a minimum of 15 years.
He claimed dad had been a heroin dealer – even though he had a high-flying banking career and had gone to private school.
I couldn’t believe it. My dad had a really great job but it turned out to be true. I learned how he had struggled with drugs and was in rehab. It was hard to come to terms with.
I plunged into depression, drank more than ever and gave up on studying – instead relying on odd waitressing or bar jobs.
But years later, with my grief as strong as ever, I realised dad would want more for me than the life I was living. I went to counselling where I was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.
In February 2015, I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and named him John after dad. My relationship with his father didn’t last but in 2017 I got together with a friend I had known for years, Dan, 32.
One morning, I put John down for his nap when I heard people on TV talking about restorative justice – a system where victims of serious crime meet with the perpetrators.
The system aims to help criminals with their rehabilitation and to help give victims closure.
Not a day went by that I didn’t think about my lovely late dad and his killer. I wondered in that moment if I could meet him, ask the questions that his actions in taking my dad’s life had left unanswered.
I got in touch with the Restorative Justice Council and in October 2017, I met Kluk in Springfield Open Prison with Dan by my side.
I was so nervous that I almost backed out, but I’m so glad I didn’t. Kluk was with his support worker and looked just like he had all those years ago when I’d seen him in court.
I wanted to stay calm and show him I was stronger than he was, but I burst into tears. My face crumpled as I asked him "Why did you kill my dad?"
He told me he’d been desperate for drugs and thought my dad would have some on him. He told me he’d never intended to kill him.
He told me he was in a dark place and knew he was going to do something bad, but that it could have been anybody.
I sobbed, told him it wasn’t just anybody and that he was my dad. I told him how loved my dad was and how special our relationship had been.
He told me he wouldn’t apologise for killing him because he thought it would only cheapen what he did. I agreed with him. You can’t kill somebody, end their life and then just say sorry.
After half an hour with Kluk, Dan and I left. It did me good to realise Kluk wasn’t the monster that I’d imagined him to be all those years. He was a human being with human emotions, who’d made terrible choices.
Meeting him didn’t bring my dad back, but it did bring me a sense of acceptance. The hate and the bitterness I’d carried around with me for over a decade was finally gone.
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Kluk was released a couple of months later. He’s off the drugs now and I wish him well. I don't forgive him but I don't hate him.
My beautiful son John, who is three, reminds me every day of my beloved dad. He has the same hazel eyes as dad and me, and dad’s cheeky grin too.
My second baby, James, was born on November 4 last year and is so loved. My dad would have adored his grandsons and I hope I do him proud every single day.
Meeting his killer wasn’t easy but it was the final step in a long and painful healing process. Now, I’m finally free to put the past behind me.
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