From sleeping on the sofa to living in seperate houses, couples share their unusual bedtime habits just like Susannah Constantine
You might think that sleeping the entire night wrapped around your other half is romantic, but could it be ruining your relationship?
IS sleeping apart the key to a perfect marriage? TV presenter Susannah Constantine thinks it could be.
This month the 56-year-old revealed she and her businessman husband of 23 years Sten Bertelsen are planning to sleep in single beds.
She said: “I snore loudly and my husband, God bless him, wriggles – and he wriggles a lot – so sometimes neither of us ends up getting any sleep whatsoever. We’ve been discussing perhaps getting two single beds put in our bedroom.” It may sound drastic to some of us, but they are far from alone in their plans.
It is thought that as many as one in four UK couples now sleep separately.
OK, it’s not for everyone, but a good night’s shut-eye is definitely not to be sniffed at. Here, three couples tell Lynsey Clark and Jenny Francis why they have gone to extremes in search of sweet dreams – and how it has worked wonders for their relationships.
Charlotte and John
MUM of two Charlotte Featherstone makes her partner John Clayton, a 31-year-old sales manager, swap sleeping places with her young son each night at their home in Barnsley, South Yorks
Charlotte says: "John and I have never managed one night in the same bed. In the early days, when we were getting to know each other, it was frustrating, but now I realise it has helped me find an amazing partner. When I met John, I already had an 11-year-old daughter, Scarlett, and four-year-old son, Bradley.
“John knew from the start that my kids come first and they both love coming in for a snuggle with me during the night. I didn’t want the children to feel things had changed, so John had to make a sacrifice.The kids go to their beds early, and at about midnight they wander into my room and John moves into Bradley’s cot bed.
“It’s not ideal but it’s a small price to pay for all the positive elements that this sleeping arrangement brings to our lives. We always get in a nice bit of pillow talk before sleep, and getting into bed together initially means we get nice cuddles.
“We still have a great sex life and the fact that he is willing to do that to make my kids feel content is the mark of a real man. We are more connected than most couples who sleep the entire night wrapped around each other and I sleep better with my kids in my bed because I feel they are safe."
John says: “I can sleep anywhere and I am usually half asleep when I move into Bradley’s bed. Charlotte has amazing children and I did not want to interfere with their relation- ships with their mum.
“We will eventually get a big bed delivered for Bradley, but we should say it’s for me. At least, then, I will be able to stretch out a bit more.”
Kelly and Frazer
STAY-at-home mum Kelly Chalke, 33, from Chippenham, Wilts, snores so badly that husband Frazer, 49, a film editor, sleeps on the sofa every night.
The couple’s five children, Maya, 14, Reece, 12, Kingsley, ten, Statham, six, and four-year-old Myles, occupy their other three bedrooms, while Kelly sleeps alone.
Kelly says: “I snore so loudly that sometimes I wake myself up. When Frazer and I first got together it was just heavy breathing but it got worse and, after ten years, he said he could not take it any more.
“He sleeps heavily and snores, too, but I never wake up to it. He told me to sleep on the sofa but I refused. I love our bed and knew I would struggle to sleep at all on the sofa. Luckily for our relationship, Frazer took his blanket and pillow and headed to the lounge.
“We tried finding a bigger house so he could have a spare room but we simply cannot afford it.I have tried nose strips, and sleeping in different positions or with different pillows, but our only solution is Frazer sleeping on the sofa.
“It has saved us and I know I am lucky that he is an easy-going guy, as he rarely complains – even when he ends up sleeping on Lego bricks left by the kids. The sleeping arrangement has really made us strong as a couple. If you can find a solution to snoring in a small house, then you can achieve anything."
Frazer says: “Initially I was scared to tell Kelly that she snores like a trooper. When I realised she had been waking herself up with her own snoring, I felt better. I accept that if I want sleep – and have a happy marriage – the sofa is my lot. I grab half an hour of me time in the master bed when Kelly gets up.
“We’re thinking about getting a pull-out sofa bed but we have other bills that need paying. We still have a great sex life and at least I get to watch TV late at night without getting yelled at.
Claire and David
MARRIED couple Claire Burke, a 51-year-old hospital ward clerk, and David, 44, a firefighter, live in different houses three miles apart in Bradford, West Yorks.
Claire has a ten-year-old son, Jay, with David and three grown-up children from a previous relationship.
Claire says: “I have never lived under the same roof as David. Although we talked about moving in together early in our relationship, we never got around to making it happen. We are both happy with the arrangement and, though it’s unusual, neither of us would change it.
“Sleeping apart keeps our relationship exciting and it feels like we are still dating. If David comes over for dinner, he goes back to his own place when it is time to go to bed.He rarely stays for sleepovers because we both like our own space. We never argue, he does not keep me awake snoring and there is no fighting over the duvet.
“When we go away on holiday, I book separate rooms because neither of us sleeps properly if we have to share.We went to New York on our honeymoon a few years back and, although we had an enormous queen-size bed, David still slept on the sofa every night. It is great for our sex life, too, because it is spontaneous.
“David works shifts, so if we have a day off together we make the most of it. We are never too tired to make the effort. I doubt we would have the energy if we went to bed together every night.
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“I would hate sex to become a chore. I still fancy the pants off him, which is unusual for a couple who have been together for as long as we have been."
David says: “I’ve been married before and know the pressures married couples face when they live under the same roof.
"Our relationship never gets boring – and although we might not spend every night in the same bed, we make the most of the days we have alone together.”