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BEAT THE BULLIES

From confidence building to teaching ‘safe’ Internet use, here’s how parents can help kids combat bullying

Childline employee Wendy Robinson, gives her expert advice on how to address bullying and how to give your child more self-confidence if they are facing difficulty

TV star Andrea McLean has revealed bullies threatened to kill her.

The Loose Women presenter told Lorraine Kelly on her ITV show that she broke down in tears when asked to make a short film about her ordeal to raise awareness of bullying.

 Bullying can dramatically effect a child's school experience and it can be hard to know what to do
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Bullying can dramatically effect a child's school experience and it can be hard to know what to doCredit: Getty - Contributor

Andrea, 49, said: “It happened when I was 15 or 16, that sort of age. I’ve put that in a box. I thought I’d put it away, life carried on.

“But what was fascinating is that when I was asked to talk about it, the emotions came flooding back. I could feel how it felt that last day.”

Bullying is one of a parent’s worst nightmares. But sadly it is on the rise, with nearly 20,000 calls to Childline in 2017-18 about bullying.

Wendy Robinson from the charity says: “These experiences can have a devastating impact, leading to low self-esteem, anxiety, depression and, in the very worst cases, suicide.

 Andrea McLean still finds it hard to talk about her experience with bullies at school
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Andrea McLean still finds it hard to talk about her experience with bullies at schoolCredit: PA:Press Association

“Whether it’s happening online or in the real world, it is vitally important that any young person who is experiencing bullying talks to someone they trust, be it a friend, parent, teacher or a Childline counsellor.”

To mark Anti-Bullying Week, Wendy gives her tips on how parents can help their kids combat bullying.

TALK . . . AND STAY CALM

 Having a conversation with your child in a calm environment may help them to open up
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Having a conversation with your child in a calm environment may help them to open upCredit: Getty - Contributor

Parents need to explain that if they are being bullied, it’s not their fault and that bullying isn’t OK.

Explain what bullying is and ask if anything like that has ever happened to them. Remain calm, even if what you are hearing is quite upsetting. Check in with them regularly. The bullying may not stop overnight.

TIME OUT

 Ensuring that your child spends some time away from devices and social media could help them overcome the bullies
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Ensuring that your child spends some time away from devices and social media could help them overcome the bulliesCredit: E+ - Getty

Try to make sure young people get some time out if they are being bullied. This might mean taking time away from iPads, computers or phones. It’s up to the young person and the parent to decide what works best for them.

If the bullying is face to face, try to find a safe zone where they can have some respite during the day.

BUILD CONFIDENCE

 If you work on building your child's self confidence it could help them to feel better about themselves
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If you work on building your child's self confidence it could help them to feel better about themselvesCredit: Getty - Contributor

A young person may lack confidence as a result of bullying. Find things they can do that make them feel good.

This could be just spending time with people they like, playing a musical instrument or doing a sport they enjoy — anything at all, as long as it makes them feel good about who they are.

TEACH ‘SAFE’ INTERNET USE

 Wendy says it is important that any young person who is experiencing bullying talks to someone they trust
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Wendy says it is important that any young person who is experiencing bullying talks to someone they trustCredit: Owen Richards 2018

Cyberbullying is as serious as any other kind. With online bullying, there is no escape. It can be 24/7. You have to make sure they get a break from it and teach children how to stay safe online so they know how to block abusive or humiliating messages.

REPORT ONLINE ABUSE

 Online abuse can be terrifying for children-reporting it to the social networking site is essential
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Online abuse can be terrifying for children-reporting it to the social networking site is essentialCredit: Getty - Contributor

We know videos of children being bullied can be filmed and posted online.

Obviously this is very distressing on top of the incident itself. Report it to the site involved.

They are more likely to take a video down if the child or parent makes the report themselves.

GO TO SCHOOL

 Speaking to your child's teachers may help them feel safer at school
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Speaking to your child's teachers may help them feel safer at schoolCredit: Getty - Contributor

You don’t have to demand to speak to the headteacher, but speak to whoever your child has the most positive contact with in school.

Find out the school’s anti-bullying policy and ask them to work with you to keep your child safe and ensure they enjoy their education.

KEEP A DIARY

 To have notes on events or things said can help you address the problem
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To have notes on events or things said can help you address the problemCredit: Getty - Contributor

It can be useful to keep a log of what’s happened so that if you do speak to a teacher you have all the evidence in front of you.

DON’T SPEAK TO THE BULLY’S PARENTS

 Speaking to the bully's parents can be the wrong thing to do
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Speaking to the bully's parents can be the wrong thing to doCredit: Getty - Contributor

Parents may hear different stories from their children. Often, both parents will end up feeling their child was the target. Instead, talk to teachers who may have seen or will be able to observe what is going on.

  • Youngsters can call Childline on 0800 11 11
  • Adults can call the NSPCC helpline on 0808 800 5000
  • Or go to: nspcc.org.uk/bullying     
Andrea McLean relives childhood bullying hell on Lorraine


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