The British pop star was unravelling from low self-esteem, exhausted from a relentless schedule and, at one point, on the verge of quitting the music industry
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FROM the outside looking in, Jess Glynne should have been having the time of her life.
In the space of just two years she’d officially become one of the most successful British female artists of all time, racking up a record six No.1 singles.
With her powerful, distinctive voice, she was selling out arenas and had been nominated for some of the most prestigious awards in the industry.
But in truth, she was unravelling.
The confident queen of cool was in fact plagued by low self-esteem, exhausted from a relentless schedule and, at one point, on the verge of quitting when doubts crept in about her own ability.
Opening up about her personal crisis for the first time, Jess, 29, says instant fame exacerbated insecurities she already had and left her with no time to get her head around how much and how irrevocably life had changed.
“I guess I’ve never felt that I looked like a pop star,” she says. “I know there’s no defining image of what makes a pop star, but this industry makes you look at yourself so much more.
"You do photo shoots, videos, everything like that, and you have to look at yourself a lot.
"And so I ended up constantly judging my appearance, and that’s… weird. It made existing insecurities worse.
“You feel a lot of pressure from society to look amazing and be amazing at all times, and that’s not reality.”
New album Always In Between lays bare some of this turmoil, and the lyrics for latest single Thursday, co-written with Ed Sheeran, show Jess at her most raw (“I’m tired of feeling broken… I just want to feel beautiful”).
“Yeah, it’s an emotional song and hopefully a message everyone will be able to relate to,” she says. “But I think the honesty in the song empowers me rather than making me feel sad.
“Something I’ve learned from writing this album is accepting myself for who I am rather than trying to be something I’m not.
"I used to spend too much time thinking about what other people wanted and what would make them happy – the industry, my family, my friends.
"And I think you get lost in that and need to reel it in and realise that if you’re not cool then no one else is either.”
There was a moment last year when Jess seriously thought about walking away. A combination of clashes with the record label over the direction of the second album and the pressures that came with her success since the 2014 Clean Bandit collaboration on Real Love – the track that launched her as a star – made her wonder if she’d be better off just quitting.
“Yeah, there was a point where I thought: ‘That’s it, I’m done.’ Nothing was working and I felt like s**t, so I needed to just stop.
"I had my own s**t going on in my private life and I couldn’t deal with everything at once.
“It’s the only time I felt like walking away. I was doubting my worth as an artist and wondering whether or not I was good at it any more.
"But I guess whatever job you’re in there’s always going to be that moment of: ‘Argh, I can’t do this!’
“So I took a step back. I stopped. I did a few shows here and there in 2017, but mainly got to see my mates, hang with my family, lie in my flat, watch TV and eat food.
“By August I’d come out of something and I was ready to go back into the studio, where weirdly everything fell into place.
"I’m not torn any more. I don’t think I’d choose another life now.”
It sounds like there have been a lot of tears over the last few years. Jess nods.
“There have been massive highs and massive lows. Everything took off really fast, everything changed very quickly, and when you’re used to your life being one thing and then it becomes something else, there has to be an adjustment period.
“I had to work out how to be that person but also be this other person while constantly being pulled in every direction, living this crazy life where you’re in Germany one minute and Australia the next. There were moments where I felt: ‘Whoa.’
“But I’ve accepted that I’m not always going to be in the best mood or Mrs Perfect or have flawless skin or be who everyone wants me to be. I just need to be me.”
Does she feel scared about putting those vulnerabilities out there on the album? On Rollin’ she describes herself as “riddled with doubt”, while on rousing, choir-backed anthem Broken she questions how anyone could love “someone so broken”.
“It’s a lot more intimate and honest [than debut I Cry When I Laugh],” she says. I’m excited for people to hear it and see me in a different light, but it’s scary putting myself out there like this.
“Music is therapy for me and helps me release emotions and deal with personal things. And you don’t really think about the world hearing it until you finish it, and then it’s like: ‘Oh s**t.’ But it’s what I do, I’ve chosen to do that, and I’m proud of it.
"I’ve learned that accepting whether I’m saying yes or no, that’s OK. Whether I’m right or wrong, that’s OK. Whether I love him or her, that’s OK.”
Jess’ sexuality became the subject of speculation with her first album when she revealed that it was inspired by a three-year relationship with a woman: “the first girl I’d ever fallen in love with”.
There have been relationships with men as well, but she’s not a fan of labels and so wouldn’t put one on her sexuality. Love, she says, is love.
“I’ve never believed in labels. I don’t label myself as anything in love, in what I eat, in anything.”
She gives the example of being a pescatarian, which means she avoids meat but eats fish, although the other day she polished off a chicken wing, much to the surprise of her band. It’s a carefully considered anecdote, which is (probably) an analogy for sexuality, and gets her around confronting it directly.
“I just really fancied a chicken wing,” she says, laughing. “So I had one. That’s how I’ll always be! That’s why the name of the album resonates – I’m always in between. People do try to constrict you in life, and it’s really beautiful to feel you’re not in any sort of box.”
She’s currently single and admits that she often struggles to let people in.
“I have a barrier. When you’ve been through things, you put up a wall, and I think I’ll always have a bit of that.
"Trust is hard, but the idea of meeting someone is exciting. I find it difficult to let that wall down, but when I do it all comes gushing.
“I’m really not a hard person. Maybe the way I’m quite private leads people to think I’m cold but I’m not! I love love, and when I’m in a relationship and I have someone on my side who makes me feel a certain way, that’s the best feeling in the world.”
Is she ready to meet someone? “No, I’m not ready for a relationship.”
And then she pauses and thinks again.
“Or am I? I dunno! If the right person comes along, if the right love came along, I’ll always be open.
But I’m in a place where I finally feel free from relationships and attachment, and I think it’s nice to reach a point where you just want to feel that for a minute.”
Jess is laid-back and reflective and speaks with a drawl, but she becomes animated when something riles her. Ask her about sexism in the male-dominated music industry and she jolts into life.
“I was recently in a conversation where someone said: ‘Do you think women are getting carried away?’ And I nearly blew the roof off.
";It was around the Serena Williams story [where Serena was penalised in the US Open final and accused the umpire of sexism] and I was like: ‘F**k you. You have no right.’
“I guarantee you that throughout Serena Williams’ career she has been put down and pushed aside and discriminated against because she’s a woman.
"And in this one circumstance she speaks up and people tell her it’s going too far? No it’s f**king not, let her speak!
“I feel like as women, we can say what the f**k we want for as long as we want because we’ve been through so much s**t. I’ll never be silent about it – it’s so important to speak up.
"I feel like we’ve been suppressed for way too long. Pipe down? I’m going to pipe up for as long as I want!”
She’s not as present on social media as some of her counterparts – she often finds it an uncomfortable place to be and says she’s still getting to grips with how to find a balance that means her fans get enough without giving too much of herself away.
“I can take it or leave it. I love it, it’s fun, and I think it’s an amazing way to show your work and interact with fans. I get why it’s important.
"But I prefer to keep part of my life to myself. It’s not my first thought to post or say something on there, and I feel awkward doing little videos, although I’ve definitely become more at ease.
“I dunno. I feel like society is very weird. You see what the perfect life is like on social media and you don’t see the other side.”
Jess recognises the negative impact that young people comparing themselves to others is having on their mental health and has become involved with leading UK charity Young Minds.
“You hear kids saying they need to change their nose or get their lips done. Oh my god, I’d never think to do that.
"The thought of putting an injection in my face… I’d never do that. It scares me how common it is.
"Mental health is spoken about more than ever and I feel that’s a great thing – we need to talk about anxiety, stress, pressures and low moments.
“Social media plays a huge part in making people feel s**t about themselves. It even makes me feel s**t sometimes. I see someone doing this or that and question myself.
"And I know I shouldn’t be comparing, but if young kids are doing that… wow, the insecurity that’s going to implant in them is scary.”
With everything she’s experienced recently, Jess is more aware than ever of the importance of support from the people around her.
Her trusted inner circle is a small one, made up of family, friends and her team – they’ve pulled her through, and she expresses her gratitude to them throughout our interview.
“I find it difficult to let people in, but I feel very fortunate to be around people who have allowed me to be me. Not just in sexuality – in life in general.
"I feel I wasn’t always like that, and that’s something I’m very grateful for. I feel very content.”
Favourite platform?
Instagram, because it allows you to express yourself and communicate with your fans.
Funniest person on Twitter?
I don’t use it enough!
Favourite on Instagram?
@Thefatjewish.
Who influences you?
My best friend and creative director @Jolene_henry.
Are you on Facebook?
No.
How do you take the perfect selfie?
Don’t think about it, just take it!
