From rows with the mother-in-law to misbehaving kids, here’s how you can start putting your anger into good use

FEMALE fury is on the up. With the likes of the #MeToo movement and pay gap rows, women are angry.

Unlike men, they are often called “hysterical” or “difficult” instead.

TV psychologist Emma Kenny argues that anger in everyday ­situations can be constructive — but we need to know how to channel the heightened emotion.

She says: “Whether it’s someone pushing into the queue or taking credit for our work, there’s a multitude of manifestations that can make the red mist descend daily.

“But how we deal with the situation can have lasting ­ramifications. Things said or done in the heat of the moment cannot be taken back.”

Here, Emma reveals how to resist a knee-jerk reaction and get angry, successfully.

FRIENDS DON’T KEEP THEIR PROMISES

You’ve had plans booked in with an old friend for months, only for her to cancel on the morning of your meet-up with no reasonable explanation.

You are hurt, frustrated and angry that she thinks this is acceptable but don’t want to totally ruin your friendship.

ANGER MANAGEMENT: In this case, do not contain your anger. It is tempting to avoid an uncomfortable confrontation, but this will only lead to resentment on your part, and provide a licence for them to do it again in the future.

Communicate why you feel let down and listen to any explanation they may have for their shortcomings. Explaining your expectations and ­seeking reassurances it won’t happen again will not only give you closure, but will help preserve your relationship.

MOTHER-IN-LAW CRITICISES YOUR PARENTING

It has happened time and time again and now it has come to a head. Your mother-in-law interferes at the best of times, but this time she has said you haven’t dressed the kids right/told them off properly/been too harsh.

ANGER MANAGEMENT: We love our children more than anything in the world, and if we feel that someone is calling that into question, will quickly blow a fuse.  But having this angry confrontation with our kids’ grandparents will cause bad feeling between the family.

Avoid biting their head off and remember the value of family ties. They have their grandkids’ best interests at heart, and the unwarranted criticism is probably coming from a good place.

Make it your mission to hear them out, thank them for their concern and move on.

YOU GET ROAD RAGE

Nothing angers you more than when you are trying to drive somewhere and are in a rush already and another driver pulls out on you unexpectedly. Cue horn-honking and a load of expletives.

ANGER MANAGEMENT: Anger is a ­natural reaction that protects us from danger, but here it will only worsen the ­situation. It is important to recognise that anger is a secondary emotion – a response to something that has made us feel threatened – and screaming will not make anything better in this situation.

Take some deep breaths, count to ten and, if necessary, report it.

The best way you can release that tension is to write down what happened. You’ll feel better for the positive action.

YOU DISAGREE WITH A COLLEAGUE

When asked for your views in a meeting, you and a colleague flare up over ­opposing opinions. Furious, you can’t seem to calm down for the afternoon.

ANGER MANAGEMENT: Try not to personalise the issue. You don’t want a professional concern becoming a ­personal battle.

Don’t ask other ­colleagues to take your side as that will simply make the problem an even bigger one. Instead, take ten minutes and go for a walk outside to calm yourself down.

As you return, write down why you think your idea is best, taking into consideration their points as well.

YOUR PARTNER HASN’T HELPED WITH HOUSEWORK . . . AGAIN

You both have busy lives and you have asked multiple times for him to help out with the washing, but yet again the pile is left sitting there. Bubbling rage ensues and you’re seconds away from letting rip.

ANGER MANAGEMENT: A blazing row seems inevitable, as your feelings will be raw. But if possible do not demand their head on a platter.

Try venting your anger and frustration to a trusted friend first, this will clear your chest. Then, ask for a discussion explaining exactly how you’re feeling, being ­honest and leaving nothing out. This is your opportunity to lay it all on the line.

Try to speak as calmly as possible as a screaming match will only end in tears.

THE KIDS ARE MISBEHAVING

They’ve been “playing up” all day and won’t listen to a word you say. After ­tidying up and repeatedly asking them to play nice, you are about to snap.

ANGER MANAGEMENT: Put the kettle on and give yourself a moment of “me time”. It’s easy to get so caught up in your kids not listening that you lose sight of what’s important.

Try not to threaten them with impossible punishments, such as saying they’ll never be allowed to watch TV again. They know it’s not true.

Be realistic and state clear consequences for their behaviour like removing their favourite toy for a period of time.

Consider why they are acting out – are they bored or frustrated?

Spend some time with them and see if they feel more included. Their behaviour may improve.