Mum-of-four Peta Todd on whether women can really have it all — all of the time
Whether it is a headline in a glossy monthly magazine article or the endgame of a lead character in a film, we are all being led up the garden path to believe there is a way to have everything, says Peta Todd
AS I write this, it is five minutes past midnight.
Our four-month-old son Casper had his injections today and is restlessly asleep on my chest.
It is the only time today I have had to sit down and work.
My day was filled with “stuff” – none of it glamorous or lucrative, just life.
You know, the school runs, a doctor’s appointment, a food shop, ironing, 100 loads of washing and all of that mixed in with doing puzzles, building rockets and making dinner.
Finally, my washing is now done, my house is clean, my children are sleeping and soon my work will be finished.
Dare I say it – have I achieved balance?
To the untrained eye of an Instagram follower, I probably have. My filtered picture shows clean, blow-dried hair and fresh flowers in my kitchen.
But the reality is that I am tired because I stay up late and get up early to find the time to fit it all in. I am not alone in this.
Raise your hand if you are in the same gang.
This idea of balance is one that perplexes me and is as elusive as a unicorn.
The notion we can “have it all” as long as we find this “balance” is almost as damaging to our mental health as any Photoshopped image in a magazine, and yet it is still an ideal we all peddle.
Whether it is a headline in a glossy monthly magazine article or the endgame of a lead character in a film, we are all being led up the garden path to believe there is a way to have everything.
Ultimately I am always dreaming of my next nap while wishing I was more successful at work, better at yoga or a more perfect mother
Peta Todd
From my experience, you can have it all, just not all at the same time.
And more importantly, you don’t have to have it all.
At times I have struggled to remember that.
It’s not a female-only pressure, either. While we must be mothers, career women, dutiful spouses and sexy, men must be strong, financially stable, able to catch spiders and be capable of making the perfect poached egg and avocado on toast.
Well, do you know what? I can’t always juggle.
Some days I keep the balls in the air longer than others.
But ultimately I am always dreaming of my next nap while wishing I was more successful at work, better at yoga or a more perfect mother.
But I ask you this. Would you wear a straw hat, swimming cap, woolly hat and crash helmet all at once to prepare for all eventualities?
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Nope – you change them as and when you need them. The same goes for life. Wear all the hats that make you happy but don’t wear them all at once.
You will just end up feeling hot and uncomfortable and looking a bit silly.