Why afterplay is just as important as foreplay for sexual satisfaction… here’s five things to try
Afterplay requires very little effort to get it right and it basically amounts to spending some quality time with your partner after the deed is done
All recommendations within this article are informed by expert editorial opinion. If you click on a link in this story we may earn affiliate revenue.
FOR many couple’s the focus, when it comes to sex, is the orgasm.
It’s the pinnacle of pleasure and helps to build bonds of intimacy between partners.
But what do you do after the event? Chances are it’s a quick cuddle, maybe a kiss and then lights out.
But according to study only a fifth women reach orgasm during sex all the time, meaning that 80 per cent of us are going without.
This is why it’s good to know that orgasm is not the sole key to great sex, it’s the cherry on the cake – it’s just that we all really like the cherry!
Satisfaction is one of the most important elements of maintaining a healthy and happy sex life.
This is where ‘afterplay’ comes in.
If you think of sex as a long distance race, then foreplay is your warm up, the race itself is your sex session, and afterplay is your cool down.
When you look at it like that it’s clear that it should be an important part of your sexual scenarios.
By including a longer post sex routine you may find it helps to boost your interest in sex altogether, resulting in better sex, and more of it.
The core of great sex is feeling emotionally and physically attached to your partner, this is why afterplay is so important, but it’s often marginalised or completely ignored, which can lead to ill feeling between partners.
Use this time to really slow things down and to sexually relax with one another.
Afterplay requires very little effort to get it right. It basically amounts to spending some quality time with your partner after the deed is done.
For many couples this can be awkward to integrate, especially if they have become used to rolling over and going straight to sleep.
But it’s surprisingly easy to get to grips with.
My top tips for including afterplay are…
1. Talk
Pillow talk is so important for developing great communication skills. It’s also great for upping the ante when it comes to what you want in bed.
Talk about what you particularly liked about the sex you just had. This is great for expanding your sexual repertoire and reinforces any message you’re trying to send.
For example, if you simply love your partner being on top, but it seems to be over too soon, you can reiterate how good that position makes you feel.
2. Kiss each other
Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, sensual kissing takes a backseat.
Use your afterplay session to reconnect.
Light butterfly kisses or slow make out sessions, whatever you prefer is perfect for afterplay.
3. Massage
Sensual skin-to-skin contact has afterplay written all over it.
Use luxurious massage oil for this.
Massage helps to relax muscles and the sensual touching helps to develop bonds of intimacy and trust.
- Vanilla Lickable Massage Oil, £5.99 from LoveHoney -
4. Shower together
After getting dirty, get clean. You can incorporate any, or even all four elements of afterplay into this.
Talk to each other, share intimate kisses, listen to an audiobook or some music and take it in turns to massage one another with warm, soapy suds.
Sharing a post coital shower is also great because it means you’ll get an extra few minutes in bed together the following morning, what’s not to love about that!
5. Read
Romantic music, romance novels or erotic fiction are perfect for afterplay and they can even give you ideas for your next session.
Take it in turns to read to one another, you might want to aim for a chapter a night or, if an entire short story if you feel like it.
- The Endless Autumn, £7.99 from Amazon -
MOST READ IN FABULOUS
Three couples time themselves having sex to see how long they REALLY last (and one woman wishes her partner would ‘hurry up’).
We previously told how a couple waited two months to have sex like Dani and Jack and it was a disaster, ending in a trip to A&E.
Meanwhile a sexpert revealed 3pm is the best time of the day to have sex… and there’s a very good reason why.