Why Peta Todd shares more with the mums of Instagram in virtual mothers’ meetings than in real-life

“It’s like a mothers’ meeting.” How many times have you heard that line, which is usually referring to a group of women moaning about dirty nappies and someone not doing the dishes?

But we shouldn’t be so quick to judge the importance of mums sharing their experiences.

My grandmother, who is in her eighties, said she and her friends never did this.

“You just got on with it,” she told me. “You didn’t know if everyone felt like you or if it was just you.”

Discussing anything like having sex after a baby, sore nipples from breastfeeding or that drowning feeling many new mums get was simply out of the question.

This made me feel quite sad for her generation.

Not because women like my grandmother, who is one of the most incredibly strong women I know, didn’t cope, but because I rely on my support network so much.

I’ve got my real-life friends, who I can laugh and cry with, and then there are endless baby groups like sensory and messy play.

And I for one, benefit hugely from the groups of humans I have met on Instagram, who I find myself sharing more of my life with than the people I see every day.

Lately, I’ve found a combination of the two – an online peer group that also offers the face-to-face human contact new mums crave.

Cue my new gang, Mothers Meetings.

The group recently contacted me on Instagram and on Tuesday I spoke at one of its events.

What I found was a group of young women from all walks of life chatting openly and confidently about their own experiences of parenting – from the mundane to the monumental changes we go through.

These ladies were bossing being mums and making real-life friendships – someone to meet at the park, go for a coffee and to the shops with or even for one of those unicorn nights out we get occasionally.

I spoke with my six-week-old son Casper on my lap and we covered everything from financial independence to babysitting, sleep deprivation and, of course, telly sensation Love Island.

Looking around the room, I felt so proud that all these people were stepping outside of their comfort zone to become a part of a gang – and these virtual friends were becoming mates in real life.

There are loads of groups out there to entertain our babies, but what I love about Mothers Meetings is that it is all about the mums because, let’s remember, we do exist too.

The conclusion I drew was that our worries and fears are far less scary when we say them out loud.

So go out for that coffee, say if you are not feeling too chipper and have a moan when you feel like it.

Whatever you do, do not suffer in silence or do it all on your own because you think that nobody feels the same as you, because I promise you, they do.

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