Four women on how they forgave cheating blokes to save their relationships — but there is a red line they can NEVER cross
Alice, Emily, Lorraine and Alisa reveal their own relationship red lines and how they managed to rebuild the trust in their own relationships
WHAT would YOU forgive? A dodgy text? A drunken kiss? Or perhaps even a full-blown affair?
New figures show there has been a 45 per cent decrease in the number of divorce petitions submitted by wives – and lawyers say it’s because modern women are more willing to turn a “blind eye” to their husband’s straying ways.
Each woman reportedly has a “red line” which, if crossed, means the relationship is over.
SAMANTHA BRICK talks to four readers who reveal their own red lines and how they managed to rebuild the trust in their own relationships.
'I'd not forgive one-off sex a second time'
SPECIAL needs teaching assistant Alice Hill, 23, lives with partner Lee Kid, 23, a tiler, in Surrey.
They have a one-year-old son, Carter.
Alice says: "It’s been a bit of a whirlwind for us as a couple since we met two and a half years ago.
"We went on a month’s tour round Europe a fortnight after we met each other. Two months after we got back I discovered I was pregnant.
"But as a couple and as individuals we love spontaneity. We both got tattoos during a weekend away.
"This spontaneous streak is what I blame for Lee acting totally out of character.
"I was still in my first trimester when Lee said he was going out for the night with some friends.
"I was suffering with morning sickness and was staying at his parents’ house chatting with his mum. I phoned Lee at 11pm to see where he was.
"When he didn’t pick up I called one of his friends who told me he had left an hour ago. We both shared an Apple watch and I flicked through his messages to find out where he was.
"That’s when I clocked the communication between him and another girl.
"I immediately messaged her demanding to know what had gone on. When she said they had had sex I was devastated.
"The following morning I packed my bags and said goodbye to his parents.
"I’m one of those people who normally kicks off, yet I felt really calm. He came to see me and said sorry.
"He blamed the drink and tried to convince me it was a genuine mistake. I refused to speak to him for a few days. When he did get through I broke down.
"He kept telling me how sorry he was and that’s when his apology really hit home.
"We got back together and put everything behind us. I still have trust issues, but everyone deserves a second chance.
"I want him in our son’s life. At one time, I would forgive him most things to keep us together.
"Now, if he did it again, it would hurt more as I have those memories to deal with."
'His sexy texts are the limit for me'
INSURANCE claims consultant Emily Silva, 29, lives in Cardiff with her partner, Jamie Gunning, 33, who is a body work sprayer.
They have a one-year-old son, Brady.
Emily says: "Jamie and I have been together for six years. We met via a dating site and were both cautious at first. We’d each been cheated on in previous relationships. We had 'the talk' about how important it is to be faithful. Luckily we both had a zero tolerance attitude about infidelity.
"One day after work Jamie came to meet me. I was with a colleague who clocked him and said, 'Your Jamie’s really hot!' I’m not a jealous person. If anything I was flattered by it. But Jamie clearly was too.
"He kept mentioning it and a few days later my friend approached me. She showed me countless messages sent by Jamie. He had asked her if she really did think he was hot and told her he thought she was good-looking.
"I was livid with Jamie and gutted that he could do this. When I rang him I went crazy. The following morning I had every intention of splitting up.
"Yet he convinced me he was flattered by her comment. He assured me it would never have gone any further. It took me a few weeks to forgive him. We’d been together for a while and I loved him. So I decided to accept it and move on.
"We’re now stronger than ever and have learnt to trust all over again.
"But if things ever became physical with someone else I can’t see me trusting again. Once sexual contact is made there is no coming back from that for me."
'The affair took me years to get over'
SOCIAL worker Lorraine Courtnage, 38, is engaged to Chris Hardy, 49, a builder.
They live in Gerrards Cross, Bucks, with their children Isabella, six, and Bear, one.
Lorraine says: "We first got together when I was 19. I fancied Chris straight away. I even went home to my mum that night and said, 'I’ve met the man I’m going to marry.' Two years down the line I was planning our wedding. I ignored the fact people were telling me they had spotted him out with another girl. I was in denial.
"The penny finally dropped when I saw them together in a pub. I bought him a pint of Guinness and her a glass of chardonnay and calmly walked out. I went home, packed his stuff and didn’t see him again for seven months.
"When we did bump into one another I told him if he wanted to be in my life I had to know every detail of the affair. I insisted he told me what they did and where they went. It was hard to hear they’d gone to places as a couple we’d been to as well.
"We stayed friends but it took us seven years before we started seeing one another again. When we got back together I got pregnant that night – it was meant to be. We live independent lives but we’re happy together. We’ll go on holiday as a family once a year, but we’ll also go away with mates too. I now know he won’t change, he still needs his freedom. But now we have kids I know he’d never risk an affair.
"He broke my heart, but I have forgiven what happened.
"We’re getting married this summer. We got through it and we are now happier than ever."
MOST READ IN FABULOUS
'More than boozy snog in the end'
ALISA GOMEZ, 22, and partner Ali Solomon, 23, an accounts agent, live in Sutton, South London, with their 18-month-old son, Aiden.
Alisa says: "We got together at the end of 2014. We’re a fun couple but since we’ve become parents we’re very family-oriented too. Last November Ali went out with the boys to a nightclub. They always go out together so I didn’t think anything of it.
"I was at my mum’s house when my sister woke me. She’d sent me a message via Snapchat saying she’d seen a video of Ali snogging another girl.
"It was awful seeing my other half huddled up in a corner kissing some random girl. I was fuming. The following morning I sent him the video. He came clean immediately and apologised.
"He was mortified by his behaviour. I could tell from the video that he was way over his alcohol limit, but I was still upset.
"Yet my instincts told me it was just a case of too much drink. I forgave him straight away because it’s not something that happens every day. Today it’s not something I bring up.
"What we have together is more important than a drunken snog. Ali now knows he has a limit with his alcohol. There are horrible consequences if he goes over it. I do trust him to go out with his friends. Since then there hasn’t been a repeat of that night.
"I love him and know he loves me too – it was just a moment of weakness.
"I wouldn’t forgive him if he had an affair or ongoing hook-ups with another female. I’d say, 'That’s it we are done.'”
- GOT a story? RING The Sun on 0207 782 4104 or WHATSAPP on 07423720250 or EMAIL [email protected]