Mum is torn after finding out her friend who has three kids is gay… so should she make him tell his wife?
The worried woman took to Mumsnet and asked if she should encourage or condemn her married pal
A MUM has started a debate online after asking for advice about her married friend who recently came out as gay - despite having a wife and family.
The helpless woman didn't know whether she should encourage her pal to be "true to himself", or to condemn his actions and force him to tell his family.
, she said: "If your friend is gay and he just recently told you, but you suspected he's known all along and he has a family, would you encourage him to embrace his sexuality?
"My current stance is to stay away from the issue, but my other friend says it's hard to not be true to oneself and so he's encouraging him."
The mum went on to explain that the man has three children, aged nine, six and two, and may have had a change of heart about his sexuality after recently turning 40.
There was no doubt in her mind that there was another man spurring him on, and that he would still provide for his children even if he came out to his wife.
One user, who believed the man should embrace his emotions, said: "He should live true to himself. Being gay and leaving his wife for a man wouldn’t make him any better or worse a father."
But many other users were quick to criticise the man's actions, claiming it would be selfish of him to leave his family and be "true to himself".
One mum argued: "It's rather selfish of him to have had a family knowing his sexual orientation now he's going to ruin all of their lives, his poor wife has been duped for years."
Another, who resonated with the story, said: "My dad came out as gay when I was 13 and I found it so hard to process. Your friend needs to be honest with his wife, he needs to leave."
Others were harsher about the friend, with some even saying that he needed to "man up" and carry on with his current life for the sake of those around him.
"His wanting to be 'true to himself' is way down the list of priorities compared to doing right by his wife and supporting his children," said another user.
"He needs to have a frank conversation with his wife, as it is they are both living a lie. She deserves the chance to be with someone who wants her and he deserves to live openly as a gay man if that's who he is."
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