Woman left £2k in debt and living with parents after 20 weddings in four years – and none of them were even hers
Georgina has spent more than £9k on weddings and hen dos in the last four years
“WE’RE engaged!” The phrase can cause excitement . . . or fear.
Once the joy wears off after hearing your pals are getting hitched, you realise your bank balance is about to take a massive hit.
Half of UK adults will attend at least one wedding this year, with the average cost per guest now topping £266. Factor in multiple invites and we are likely to spend £800 over this wedding season, according to M&S Bank.
Wedding guests also spend £88million a year on stag and hen parties.
So does the cost of weddings mean we are going to have to start turning down invites?
Georgina Childs, 30, has had enough of forking out as a result of being a wedding guest...
The PR account manager from Woodford, Essex, got herself into £2,000 of debt and had to move back in with her with parents after attending 20 weddings and 12 hen dos in four years.
She says: “I shudder when the invite arrives. I wish I could say no — but how do you tell your friends you just don’t think their wedding is within your budget?
“I know the drill at weddings. The bride will walk down the aisle to Ed Sheeran, the floral theme will be subdued greenery — and my bank balance will have taken another hit to the tune of £270.
“That’s travel, accommodation, hotel, a gift and a dress. And that figure doesn’t even include the hen do.”
Since the summer of 2014, Georgina has spent £6,465 on weddings and £2,785 on hen dos — for a grand total of £9,250.
She says: “I used to love going to weddings. It was all new and exciting and although it cost a lot, I could budget ahead of time.
“But from 2014, invites started arriving thick and fast. My calendar was getting booked up and money was pouring out. I started to panic. It felt like all the other guests could afford things like staying in a nice hotel or chipping in for the joint gift and I couldn’t.
“There was a pressure to keep up. By 2016, the only way to do that was to put hotel costs and drinks on a credit card. But I struggled to pay it off. I kept adding hotel reservations, train bookings and flights.
“In November last year, I had £1,550 on a credit card and was £800 into my overdraft. I tried to keep costs down by booking Airbnbs and borrowing outfits but it still kept increasing.”
Georgina has also been a bridesmaid seven times.
She says: “The trouble with being a bridesmaid is the cost shoots up.
“You think you’ll save money, as you’ll have your outfit sorted. But that’s not been the case for me. When you ask for money for the hen do kitty, there are always people who say they will pay you back and never do, so you foot the bill. You end up spending more on gifts and often have to fork out for the wedding venue’s pricey hotel rooms.
“It’s probably seen as tight but I always choose the cheapest items on the gift list. I’ve bought candleholders and even just a pair of salad servers in the past.”
Of the 20 weddings Georgina has attended, 13 have been in London, coming with a different set of expectations.
She says: “They are often very posh. I went to one in Mayfair and ended up spending £250 on a dress from Reiss because everyone was going all-out.
“I didn’t want to look like I’d turned up in a cheap number.
“Most of the guests at the weddings are the same people each time, so I can’t get away with wearing the same outfit without people noticing.” Last year Georgina attended a wedding in Tuscany, Italy. It was her first overseas wedding.
She says: “When I saw the location on the invite, I felt sick. I ended up spending £800 on flights, accommodation, food and drink — and the gift.
“The added costs of lunches the day before and after the wedding made it really expensive.
“I also had to take two days off work. Most of the weddings I’ve been to have been on Fridays, so I have used up 12 days of annual leave.
One hen do was £600 – that’s the same as my monthly rent
Georgina
“I can’t remember the last time I went away that wasn’t related to a wedding. When you tell people you’re going to a wedding abroad, they all think it’s a nice break. But it is definitely not a holiday.”
As well as the ceremonies, Georgina has been on 12 hen dos, five in London, two in Spain and the rest around the UK.
She says: “I think hen dos have become too much. It’s never just one night. It’s always a weekend somewhere with endless, expensive activities. Over Easter I went to one in Spain for three days and it cost £600.
“That’s what I was paying in rent each month.”
It’s little wonder, then, Georgina has taken the drastic step of moving out of her London home and back in with her parents to save money.
She says: “In the end, something had to give. There was only one day a month when my bank balance was in the black. I had no life.
“I can’t remember the last time I bought something new for me that wasn’t wedding-related. I’m still chipping away at £1,200 worth of credit card debt. Before I moved out, a friend came to stay and her face dropped when she saw all of the invites pinned to my fridge.
“Even when I arrived at my parents’ there were two new invites waiting for me. I’d love to set a limit of only attending one or two weddings a year, just to give my bank balance a chance to recover.
“But that won’t happen any time soon — only half of my friends are hitched. You can’t ever say to someone ‘No, thanks’.
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“It just isn’t the done thing. Yet given how much debt I’m in, it is such a ridiculous way to live.
“I don’t hate weddings. I always enjoy them when I’m there.
“I just wish there wasn’t the added pressure to be the perfect wedding guest.”