Mum shares agony of delivering stillborn baby two days after finding out he had died in her womb… and what helped her through her heartbreak
Rebecca Marek, 37, from Meir, Staffordshire, was able to spend some precious time with son Teddy thanks to a 'cuddle cot'
A MUM has described the agony of delivering her stillborn baby two days after finding out he had died in her womb.
Rebecca Marek, 37, told how her only comfort was that she could spend some precious time with her son Teddy thanks to a specialist “cuddle cot”.
Now she has launched a fundraising drive to help other grieving parents in the same situation.
Rebecca, who lives with husband Roman in Meir, Staffordshire, said: "When Teddy was born they put him in a cuddle cot to allow us to spend as much time with him as possible.
“I wanted to buy one of those for the hospital. When I was ready weeks later I set up an online fundraising page."
The first few months of Rebecca’s pregnancy had appeared normal and at the 20-week scan she found out she was expecting a boy.
But her happiness soon turned to shock when they were told that the right side of their baby's heart was “severely underdeveloped” and was missing some valves.
The couple were warned their baby would not survive outside of her body.
Little Teddy died on December 27 and he was stillborn two days later.
Spa assistant Rebecca admitted: "When we got told he couldn’t survive we felt helpless.
“If he had survived, we would have been looking at palliative care. There was nothing anybody could do.
“Your instinct is to protect your child and not being able to do that was devastating. It's like somebody throwing you down the darkest hole with no bottom.
"We knew over Christmas we were losing him but when the time came it was the hardest thing I've ever had to go through.
"It was one harrowing thing after another. The day he was born was the worst. We got to hold him, see him and spend a bit of time with him and that was so precious. It's hard because you're leaving the hospital without him."
Teddy was born in the Forget Me Not suite at Royal Stoke University Hospital where the couple were supported by a team of specialist midwives.
She said: "When you first walk in it's so peaceful and it's dedicated to you. The staff were so compassionate, caring and amazing at what they do especially in such difficult circumstances.
“I left hospital that day knowing that I wanted to do something for them because of how they made me feel. It was a very sad day, but I felt at peace and they played a massive role in that.”
Each cuddle cot costs £1,600 and Rebecca managed to raise that sum in just over one week.
What is a cuddle cot?
- When a baby passes away in hospital it is often the case, as with all deaths, that their body is transferred to the hospital mortuary.
- Some families may wish to take their baby to a hospice, where they can spend time with their child with the support of staff.
- Many hospices, like the Martin House hospice where baby Evelyn was taken, give families this option.
- They have specialist cooled bedrooms, as well as "cuddle cots" with cold mattresses.
- The cuddle cots allow parents more time with their babies before their funeral, and their use is encouraged by charities, bereavement practitioners and academics in the UK.
- It allows grieving family members time to deal with their loss, while preventing the bodies of the babies from deteriorating.
- Sheryl McMahon, from Sands, a stillbirth and neonatal death charity, believes that the cuddle cots "help with the healing process in the long-term".
- Families are encouraged to spend time there with their baby, if they wish.
- From there, it is up to the parents where their child's body is transferred.
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Rebecca added: "The cash was raised due to the amazing generosity of friends, family and even people that we don't know. We will look to continue fundraising for more.
"We have bought the cot and we are just waiting for a name plaque as it will be in memory of Teddy.
“Unfortunately, there will be other parents who will find themselves in our situation and this will allow them to spend as much time with their babies as we did. It makes us feel as if we are giving something back."
The family will donate any extra funds to the 4Louis charity, which supplies memory boxes to hospitals throughout the UK.
Last year we told how a mum spent 16 days with her dead baby girl – and even took her tragic daughter for walks in a pram.