The touching photos show the moment Lilly Ross, 21, met Andy Sandness, who was the recipient of a face transplant following the death of her
husband Calen 'Rudy' Ross
"CLUTCHING my toddler’s hand, I felt so nervous as the stranger walked into the room.
We’d never met before, but his face felt so familiar to me, I couldn’t help but reach out and touch his skin. It was no surprise really, as it belonged to my dead husband.
"Rudy and I met when we were teenagers at high school.
"At 18, he was a year older than me, but we quickly fell in love.
"He was a giant of a man, outgoing and funny, but also really caring and kind.
"I had no clue that some days he was overwhelmed with depression.
I had no clue that some days he was overwhelmed with depression
"While my friends were going off to university, Rudy and I got married in church in Windom in October 2015.
"At 18 and 19, we may have seemed young, but we were serious about each other and wanted a family more than anything.
"Within a month of our wedding I was pregnant, and as the weeks went by we were so happy.
"But there were times Rudy would get down.
"He worked in construction and would quit jobs on a whim, then sit around at home for days watching TV.
"I thought having a baby to look forward to would help Rudy through his dark days, but in June 2016, when I was eight months pregnant, he sat in his truck and shot himself in the head. It was his 21st birthday.
"I’ll never forget the sound of the gun.
"Running outside to find him, I called an ambulance through hysterical sobs, and Rudy was rushed to hospital and put on life support.
"It wasn’t long before doctors sat me down and told me there was no way he would survive. Their words left me shattered.
"Rudy had always wanted his organs donated, so I agreed that his lungs, heart, liver, kidneys and pancreas could go to those who needed them.
"Then the doctors introduced me to someone from an organisation called LifeSource, who asked if I would consider donating Rudy’s face.
"I was sceptical as I didn’t even know such a thing was possible.
Rudy had always wanted his organs donated, so I agreed
"To help me decide, LifeSource assured me the recipient, a 35-year-old man called Andy Sandness, wouldn’t look like Rudy because their eyes and forehead were different.
"They told me that, like my husband, he had suffered from depression.
"In 2006 he had shot himself in the head, but survived.
"His injuries had left him with two teeth, no lips, a shattered face and little vision in his left eye.
"Although surgeons had attempted to rebuild his face, Andy had a tiny mouth and a prosthetic nose.
"When Rudy’s face was found to be a good match, it was his chance to live a normal life. I knew I had to help him.
"Six days after Rudy’s life support was turned off, surgeons performed a 56-hour operation to remove his face.
"In the weeks that followed, it was so hard to carry on without him, but I couldn’t give up on our unborn baby.
When Rudy’s face was found to be a good match, it was his chance to live a normal life
"My mum Rachel, 44, and sister Victoria, 19, rallied around me, but I’d never felt so heartbroken and alone.
"On July 6, I gave birth to our son Leonard. Cradling him, I couldn’t help but cry at the thought he would never meet his father.
"As I grieved, I tried to give my son as normal a life as I could.
"Then, in summer 2017, LifeSource got in touch to suggest I meet Andy. I’d found comfort in writing to some of the people who’d received Rudy’s organs, so I felt this could be a step forward, too.
"In October 2017, Andy and I met at the Mayo Clinic, where the operation had taken place. I brought Leonard, as I needed him to see what an amazing thing his father had done. When Andy walked into the room, I was so overwhelmed I burst into tears.
"He didn’t look like Rudy, apart from his rosy red cheeks and a small hairless patch of skin on his chin. I touched his face, and for the next hour we didn’t stop talking.
"I was amazed at how alike Andy and Rudy were, especially as they both had a huge love for the outdoors. Since then we’ve kept in touch, and have met up twice more. Getting to know Andy has made me realise that organ donation really is the best gift you can give.”
