‘I’m an image-conscious woman and learning to love my body in time for Valentine’s Day’
ON Wednesday many of us will tell our other halves how much we adore them – but most of us could do with showing a bit of love to ourselves, too.
Women here have one of the lowest rates of body confidence in the world, with only 20 per cent saying we like our appearance.
The study by Dove also found low body-esteem causes a horrifying 85 per cent to opt out of activities such as trying out for a team or club, or even socialising.
We are in need of some serious lessons in self-love – so this Valentine’s Day, we challenged a Sun reader with low body confidence to take lessons from one of our experts on how to change that.
Gemma Rae was so unhappy with her figure she hadn’t looked at herself without clothes for years. But that all changed after coaching from either sex expert Rebecca Lowrie, body confidence guru Janine Fordham or dating ace Rebecca Jane.
Here she shared her journey – and figure – with JENNY FRANCIS.
‘Cheat ex left me doubting myself and my looks’
SINGLE Gemma Rae, 31, is a full-time mum of five – Connor, 15, Jordan, 12, Imogen, ten, Millie, eight and Olivia, one.
She lives in Corby, Northants, and admits she hasn’t loved herself since her ex-husband had an affair and left her. This has left her without the confidence to date.
Gemma says: "I’ve been single for eight months. I found out my ex was having an affair and it knocked my confidence. I took him back but he soon began another affair.
"His actions have left me really doubting myself, my looks and my judgement.
"While I have a fantastic support network around me, I can’t shake off how I feel about myself.
"I’ve stayed single because I just don’t feel I can put myself out there.
"I really don’t know how I’ll meet someone else.
"Running the household, doing the school run and looking after the children means I don’t have any time for myself either.
"If I ever get the chance to look in the mirror I see someone very petite with stretch marks and no smile.
"I’m also incredibly self-conscious about my small chest.
"I really hope this can help me feel better about myself."
How expert helped
Dating expert Rebecca Jane says: “Gemma has a problem trusting men, which is understandable.
“It’s never just about the infidelity, it’s about the lies and manipulation you are subjected to when a partner cheats.
“I’ve spoken to Gemma about recognising there are other men out there who aren’t toxic and won’t cheat.
“For now, she is going to focus on building herself back up again.
“She has accepted that she can’t blame herself for being a bad judge of character.
“Her ex won’t care how she feels about herself – so why should she?”
“Gemma had seen one photograph of herself smiling as a teenager and hated it.
“But when you put all of your positive energy into smiling with the whole of your face then you give out a really confident vibe and it changes how you look and, more importantly, how you feel.”
GEMMA’S VERDICT: “I can’t believe I wore underwear in a photoshoot.
“Rebecca gave me some brilliant coping strategies to deal with my ex and warned me not to put up the barriers so high that I don’t attract anyone.
“It’s been an eye-opener to realise I’ve been doing just that. I felt amazing standing there in the beautiful underwear selected for me.
“It accentuated my figure and I really pushed through the confidence barriers. I hope the feelgood factor stays with me.”
