Don’t make the same mistakes I did, Lisa: Fork out for the best divorce lawyer around
LISA Armstrong will be going through hell right now, but she'd be wise to make sure she picks the best divorce lawyer for the job, warns Lizzie Cundy.
Here, the ex-WAG reveals the lessons she's learned from her own high-profile split from footballer Jason Cundy...
I remember the exact moment I decided enough was enough, sitting in the sun outside Chelsea Football Club. My boys, who were 16 and 11 at the time, are massive fans.
Even now, I just remember putting my head in my hands – it was like I’d had an epiphany.
If only I could go back in time, I might have taken some breathing space to react. They do say there’s nothing like a woman scorned!
I can honestly say the period leading up to my divorce was one of the darkest times of my life, and I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. It's like a death, but worse, because they’re still around.
It’s especially difficult when your divorce is in the public eye.
I know Ant and Lisa personally and feel so sorry for them and what they’re going through.
One thing that’s really important to remember is that Lisa has been an integral part of Ant’s success - she’s helped him build up his career.
I think Lisa would be playing it right if she were to pick a good, expensive lawyer; after all, she needs to look at it from a business perspective.
It’s so important to get the right lawyer. Mine wasn’t very good, and I wish I had known about the hiring process before.
But these aren’t the sorts of things you think about when you’re in love at the start of a relationship, and a pre-nuptial agreement never crossed my mind before we were wed.
Why would it? I’ve always had a very Catholic view of marriage and assumed that we’d last forever – so the break-up was a bitter pill to swallow.
They're a great idea, pre-nups. I didn’t marry for money, though: in fact, I was earning more than Jason when we met. I'm not materialistic.
I was 18 when we met, but we dated for four years before deciding to get hitched.
Ant has had huge success, and his is a very high-pressure job. He needs the support that Lisa has been giving to him.
I remember doing this myself, with Jason – of course he had so much talent and had to really work on the pitch, but I supported him.
He was quite injury-prone and at I helped him through major knee and back problems.
At one point he was in a really bad way and was out of the game for more than half a year.
It floored me how quickly people were willing to take sides. Family and friendships were so swift to split into camps, and some people suddenly stopped ringing.
So on top of a marriage crumbling you’ve also got the added knock-on effect of managing other people’s emotions too.
I also feel that I would have done things differently had I experienced some better advice. There were so many people trying to tell me what to do – agents, PRs – and I didn’t know who was best to listen to.
It’s when you don’t know what to do that you make the wrong decisions.
People are saying that at least Ant and Lisa didn’t have kids, and that they weren’t really married for very long.
It doesn’t matter. Lisa’s lawyer will know how much she has put into Ant’s career.
I can see the pain in Lisa's face. He's moved on more quickly and made his mind up.
But this is her future, too: divorce is the biggest fight of your life and you've got to take the emotion out.
Divorce lawyers are expensive, though, and it can cost £20,000 just as a base-line fee.
In the end, you could be looking in the region of £100,000. It's really tough to try and find the right lawyer.
In fact, when it comes to divorce I feel that the only winners seem to be the lawyers.
Mine once rang me to ask if everything was ok: the next day I got a bill for £500, just for that one conversation!
When it came to the settlement, I just wanted what was fair: I've got two boys and my main concern is and always will be them.
I'm not a greedy person - I just wanted what was right for my boys.
But looking back, I've been able to do amazing things that I'd have never be able to do otherwise. I just keep getting back up!
And after all is said and done, it’s really important to remember that you loved your ex once.
I was with Jason for a long time and I genuinely loved being married. I loved having him there and I loved looking after someone.
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I know people who are still scarred 10 or 15 years after their divorce, but I’m delighted to say I'm in such a happy place now.
I'm the divorce guru now for all of my friends, and I learnt how strong I can be.
It made me determined to be successful and give my boys the best life.