Why have women been silent at weddings so long? One bride reveals why she thinks EVERY woman should give a speech on their big day
Meghan Markle is planning a speech at her own wedding, and having done exactly that, Lucy Toseland-Bolton says it’s the right way to start any marriage off on an equal footing
ALONG with the dress, flowers and brideszilla obsession with the need for everything to match, I planned and wrote my own wedding speech.
When my now-husband proposed in 2008 and we began to plan our big day, the speeches were part of the discussion and I was never in any doubt that I too would be taking centre stage to talk.
I mean, why the hell not when I was half of the couple?
So it is marital music to my ears to hear that Meghan Markle will also be standing up and giving a speech at her wedding to Prince Harry in May.
As a strong and rather vocal woman, I don’t think it came as any surprise to Matt, my now husband that I would be speaking to our 100 family and friends.
I’ve never been the silent woman in the background, being spoken for, so it was unlikely I would conform to this role on my wedding day.
While my dad was preparing his speech, my husband thinking of what he would say and the best man coming up with amusing anecdotes, I sat and wrote mine too.
When I stood to give my speech on a scorching hot June day in 2010, I told everyone they’d be hearing from me as I wanted to have a chance to talk – something that would be a part of my marriage from day one.
Everyone chuckled but were extremely supportive of my right to do so.
Like my husband’s speech, I told our guests why I loved him – because he was witty and kind – and told them about the really caring side of my husband with an anecdote about how he put together a winter safety car pack for the car, in case I broke down.
The guests “ahhed” because I doubt they knew just how sweet and caring he was, so being able to get up and talk meant it was an opportunity to share something about him in a way that normally may be missed, with the focus on boozy nights or comedy jokes by the best man.
I also revealed that despite never wanting to get on the back of Matt’s motorbike, I would do it for him as his wedding gift.
His biker friends cheered, and everyone laugh as I’d been so adamant I’d never do it before.
And during my dad’s speech, my mum – another strong woman – also got up to speak in a joint effort as she felt it shouldn’t just be the “father of the bride” speech when she’d raised me too, and I love her for that.
As women, there are many times we have to bow down to male-dominated traditions but our weddings should NOT be one of them.
Standing up to give a speech started our marriage off on an equal footing, not just to ourselves, but to our family and friends, and I hope it does the same for Meghan and Harry.
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