I’m having the best sex at 63 after thinking menopause killed my libido – I’ve had toyboys & swinging boosting orgasms
One recent occasion saw the mum being offered a sensual massage by a professional masseur - which then turned into a mind-blowing sexual encounter
ON the outside, best-selling author Suzanne Noble may seem like the ultimate picture of respectability – she wears smart outfits, runs a successful business and lives in an upmarket enclave in London.
But rather than heading to a posh Waitrose store to do her weekly shopping on Saturday and Sunday, her weekends are more daring than that.
Two decades ago, when Suzanne was in her 40s, she wrote an anonymous book that caused a stir with its scandalous tales of her sexual exploration.
And now, aged 63, she is enjoying sex that is just as pleasurable as it was in her youth – if not even better.
Whether it’s a mind-blowing rendezvous with her lover or new experiences with multiple partners, Suzanne’s 60s have ”heralded a sexual smorgasbord of delights”.
One recent occasion saw Suzanne being offered a sensual massage by a professional masseur – which then turned into a mind-blowing sexual encounter.
However, just ten years ago she was floundering, with very little intimacy at all.
The menopause had killed her libido and the vigour in the bedroom, with Suzanne bravely admitting she believed she’d never feel like having sex again.
”I’m living proof that even the most sexually vivacious of women can be laid low by midlife hormonal changes,” she shared with .
”And I can’t emphasise enough what a knock it was to my confidence to find myself so sexually depleted.
”I barely recognised myself as my whole identity had been built upon an image of myself as a confident, sensual being.”
Sharing her story, the author admitted that although it took her years to reignite her ”confidence and desire”, she eventually got there.
”But I did it, and now I’m on a mission to show women – and men – just how invigorating and fulfilling intimacy can be at any age.”
Suzanne’s interest in sex was ignited in her early 40s, after a monogamous ten-year marriage to her children’s father ended in divorce.
While the couple were still together, Suzanne recalls, their sex life was rather ”vanilla” and included the ”missionary position”.
For a while, they shared their most intimate moments just once a week – but during the final four years they didn’t have any sex at all.
After ending the relationship, Suzanne enjoyed six months of dates with men she had encountered online, before meeting a man named Daniel who became her next partner.
What your sexual fantasies say about you
Bya TV presenter and psychologist
Raucous Role Play: If your partner enjoys dressing up for fun, it shows creativity and a desire to keep things exciting. However, it might signal that he struggles with responsibility.
Multi-Partner Fantasies: Craving variety doesn’t always mean he wants to cheat. However, it could indicate deeper feelings of unfulfillment.
Power & Control: A little dominance is normal, but if it’s always about control, it may hide insecurities.
Adventure: Men seeking thrills may push boundaries, so be sure your comfort zone is respected.
Passion: If he’s romantic, he’s emotionally tuned in—though occasionally avoiding tough conversations.
Flexibility: Openness to new experiences is great, but constant novelty-seeking could mean avoiding emotional connection.
Red Flag: If control is his ultimate fantasy, it may signal a deeper struggle with power dynamics.
”He was incredibly sexual, and he awoke a response in me. During the two and a half years we were together, he opened up a world of sexual pleasure and experimentation that I hadn’t known existed . . . including inviting others to join us in bed, something that had only featured in my most secret fantasies.”
Their time together changed her attitude to sex and set the tone for the next decade of Suzanne’s life.
The Butcher, The Baker, The Candlestick Maker
With a sexual appetite that was raging, Suzanne decided she didn’t want another serious relationship – and instead, wanted to explore every sexual fantasy she’d ever had.
In 2006, aged 45, the mum-of-two published a book – – which chronicled her insatiable appetite for sex and the daring liaisons she sought out.
”Written under the pseudonym Suzanne Portnoy to protect my then-teenage sons, the book was a candid exploration of my hedonistic adventures, including taking part in the swinging scene and other alternative sexual lifestyles.
”I had threesomes, foursomes and more.”
Suzanne has also gone on naturist holidays and taken tantric lessons.
However, her most memorable encounter was a threesome with a long-time swinging partner and his mate, during which they all orgasmed simultaneously.
I always tell single women, if you’re going to explore your sexuality, your 40s are the best time to do it
Suzanne Noble
The book sparked a mixed response – but ultimately, it struck a chord, sparking long overdue conversations about female sexuality.
Suzanne’s inbox was soon full of emails from committed couples who credited her book with revitalising their sex lives.
The Butcher, The Baker, The Candlestick Maker went on to become a bestseller, printed in multiple languages, and was republished in 2013 following the huge success of Fifty Shades Of Grey.
”I’ve certainly never regretted my decision to test the boundaries of my sexual desires,” the mum-of-two said.
”Although I recognise many people have no interest in exploring non-monogamy, as a single, 40-something woman I wasn’t hurting anyone.
”I practised safe sex and was focused on pleasure rather than emotional connection at that time.
”I always tell single women, if you’re going to explore your sexuality, your 40s are the best time to do it because you have the benefit of emotional maturity, sex appeal and stamina.”
Hot flushes, vaginal dryness, a dwindling sex drive
At the time Suzanne wrote her book, she thought her sexual appetites would last for ever – however, she was wrong.
The moment the mother-of-two, whose sons are now in their 30s, realised her body was changing dramatically.
It was at her 50th birthday bash – a private swinging party – when Suzanne looked at all the guests having sex around her and thinking she’s ”so over this”.
For the first time, she had no desire to join in and felt jaded.
Two weeks later, Suzanne met Oliver, a bloke 16 years her junior.
The relationship was very conventional and saw the two going for drinks and dinner before they eventually slept together.
Although the monogamous relationship went on for a few years and was ”wonderful”, Oliver wasn’t particularly interested in opening up their relationship – and neither was Suzanne.
Then menopause truly hit her, bringing with it challenges she never saw lurking around the corner.
”Hot flushes, vaginal dryness, a dwindling sex drive and an expanding waistline derailed my sex life and my confidence,” Suzanne said.
”I genuinely grieved the loss of my libido and wondered whether I would ever feel sexy again.”
The relationship began to be rocky – and in the end, Suzanne’s struggle with menopause led to their split after almost five years together.
Initially, Suzanne thought her sexual days were now over – but as time went on and the symptoms began to ease, Suzanne wondered if the turmoil was an opportunity to leave her wild years behind – or redefine what she truly wanted.
Finding sexual mojo again
A few years later, Suzanne started a podcast called, with a friend called Peter, who is also in his 60s.
When Peter expressed an interest in swinging, she took him to a small, private party, where she felt more like a tour guide rather than an active participant.
Since then, the mother-of-two has slowly found her once-lost sexual mojo again.
Although she is no longer the life and soul of the party and has dipped back into swinging every now and then, Suzanne is happy that way.
At 63, Suzanne can confidently say that she still enjoys a satisfying sex life.
She is not looking for a soulmate and certainly doesn’t want to be ”someone’s nursemaid” – but Suzanne is happy with a sexual partner – and sometimes partners – she deems attractive and who understands how to please her.
Taking care of yourself
For Suzanne, taking care of herself has become key.
As well as working out numerous times a week which helps her feel sexy and boosts a sense of empowerment, Suzanne is also a firm believer in gorgeous lingerie.
It doesn’t necessarily need to be skimpy – a beautiful silk or satin negligee will help to make you feel glamorous, she said.
Most importantly, Suzanne added, it’s essential to find a few hours when you can wear such things – for instance, on a date with your partner at a weekend.
Hotels can be thrilling, but according to the mum-of-two couples can also create a sensual atmosphere in the bedroom with candles and soft music in the background.
”If your love life with a long-term partner has become stale, but you’re feeling brave, then consider each making a list of all the things you might enjoy exploring in the bedroom – as well as anything you definitely don’t want to do.”