I married my first cousin – trolls say it’s incest & slate our sex life, but we couldn’t keep our hands off each other
WHILE most couples will happily regale you with stories of how they first met for Cheryl and David Hickman their love story is a little more complicated.
The husband and wife go back a long way, in fact they’ve known each other from birth due to the fact they are first cousins.
Cheryl and David Hickman, both 52, from Welwyn Garden City, Hertfordshire, are first cousins and their fathers are brothers.
Despite cruel comments from trolls claiming they ‘belonged on The Jeremy Kyle Show’ The couple, who married in 2016, enjoyed a healthy sex life until recently.
For the last three years, a night of romance is the last thing on Cheryl’s mind as the mum-of-one suffers crippling pain from endometriosis.
It's a disease where tissue grows outside the uterus, which can cause severe discomfort in the pelvis and sometimes infertility.
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The condition often leaves Cheryl unable to get out of bed and in too much pain for sex.
Now, Cheryl, who has been unable to work for eight months, is desperately awaiting a hysterectomy on the NHS.
She says: “I’ve been fighting for surgery for years.
“Once, David and I couldn’t keep our hands of each other, but our sex life amongst other things, has suffered due to the pain.
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“We’re desperate to reconnect, physically and to get my health back on track.”
After 16 years together, the couple claim to still be madly in love and don’t care what society thinks of their unorthodox relationship.
Cheryl says: “When I was younger I never thought my future husband would end up being my cousin.
“But you can’t help who you fall in love with.”
Growing up, Cheryl and David’s families were close, visiting each other once a month in Wandsworth, London.
Cheryl says: “While our parents nattered, David and I would play together.
“David loved to follow me around the house and yank my ponytail.
“Even though we were the same age, I always referred to him as my annoying little cousin.”
But when they were 14, David’s family moved away from the area and Cheryl moved on with her life.
Years later, in 1994, Cheryl, then 22, discovered she was infertile and so in 2001, Cheryl and her then partner adopted a newborn girl, Caitlin, now 23.
The following year, Cheryl got married but they divorced six years later.
In 2009, just a year after her divorce, Cheryl received a message from David on Facebook out of the blue.
She says: “I hadn't heard from him in 22 years but that night, David and I messaged back and forth, catching up on each other's lives.
“I discovered he was divorced and had step children.
“I told him all about Caitlin and my past marriage.”
After that night, the pair spoke every day.
The next month, Cheryl invited David to Caitlin’s 8th birthday party in London.
She says: “As he walked in, I thought he looked really handsome.
“It was at that moment that I realised I found my cousin attractive.
“I tried to shake it off, but I couldn’t help the way I felt.
“I told David he looked fantastic and he said it was so nice to see me.
“After the party, David pulled me aside and told me he had feelings for me.
“I was so excited, I admitted I fancied him too.
My dad was furious and said we needed to break up as it was against the law
Cheryl Hickman
“We ended up kissing.
“I knew we were cousins, but my feelings took over, it didn’t feel wrong, it felt right.”
But the next day, Cheryl’s worries began to catch up with her.
She says: “David and I were related by blood, so I stressed that I’d get into trouble.
“I quickly did some research online and discovered first-cousin marriages were legal in Britain.
“It wasn’t classed as incest and I was so relieved.
“After that, David and I decided to give our relationship a go.”
Soon, David became a doting stepdad to Caitlin.
At first, afraid of their family’s reaction, Cheryl and David kept their relationship a secret.
But two months later, they came clean.
Cheryl says: “As David no longer spoke to his family, he didn’t need to tell them.
“So I confessed to mine.
“I told my parents that David and I had fallen in love.
“My mum told me to stop being ridiculous, while my dad was furious and said we needed to break up as it was against the law.
“I quickly showed him a website that confirmed first cousin relationships were legal.
“Then, he calmed down.
“After that, they still weren’t happy, but I understood they needed time to get used to the idea.”
Six months later, their family finally accepted their union.
But soon, internet trolls began leaving cruel comments on Cheryl and David’s Facebook.
Cheryl says: “They called our relationship incestuous.
“Others said that we belonged on the Jeremy Kyle show.
“I was furious.
“I said to David how could people say such gross things, we weren’t brother and sister.
“Thankfully, when we told our friends about us, they were supportive.
CAN I MARRY MY COUSIN IN THE UK?
It's actually quite common, with 10 per cent of marriages around the world being between first or second cousins.
Standard marriage laws apply, so you need to be over the age of 18 if you want to get married without parental consent.
In Europe, first-cousin marriages were quite common until the 19th Century.
Charles Darwin married his first cousin Emma Wedgewood in 1839 and Queen Victoria married her first cousin Prince Albert in 1840.
It was practice more common with societal elites and aristocrats, so, when social mobility became easier, it began to die out.
“They were shocked at first, then it wasn’t mentioned again.”
Ignoring the haters, David proposed to Cheryl in December 2009.
In November 2016, the couple got hitched.
For years, they enjoyed a blissful marriage.
In the UK, there is no legal ban on two cousins having a relationship or getting married.
But in 2022, Cheryl was diagnosed with endometriosis and began experiencing excruciating pain.
She is forced to take strong painkillers which she claims, barely help.
In the last two years, she underwent two ablation operations at The Lister Hospital in London.
The procedure removes the lining of the uterus to treat heavy menstrual bleeding and alleviate chronic pelvic pain. Sadly, both surgeries failed.
Eventually, last year, she was forced to give up her job as a transport passenger assistant, taking a toll on the couple’s relationship.
David’s been my rock throughout and we’re still madly in love
Cheryl Hickman
She says: “Not having the financial income we once did put pressure on our relationship.
“We couldn’t go out as much and -coupled with my health problems, it put a strain on us.
“David hated seeing me in pain and was helpless to make it go away.”
While Cheryl longs for a hysterectomy, many hospitals refused to perform surgery, due to Cheryl’s former 29st frame.
She says: “They were worried about putting me under.
“Yet, specialists encouraged me to have bariatric surgery.
“As a celiac it wasn’t a good idea, as it meant getting the proper nutrients I needed would be harder.”
Instead, Cheryl decided to lose weight naturally, through portion control and healthy eating.
Ditching fast food, she began eating more vegetables and lean meats as well as taking up swimming twice a week.
Within two years, she’d lost an incredible 5st. Now weighing in at just over 23st and is now on the waiting list for a hysterectomy.
She says: “I can’t wait for my operation so David and I can get our love life back on track.
“We haven’t taken a holiday since 2018, so we can’t wait to go travelling together once I’m well enough.
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“David’s been my rock throughout and we’re still madly in love.
“I don’t know what I’d do without him.”
