I started paying for sex after my wife gave birth to our IVF baby – I felt guilty at first but it’s worth every penny

MANY couples struggle with their sex lives after starting a family.

But while most suffer in silence, Peter Stroud, 43, a builder from Leeds, decided he wasn't willing to accept a sexless existence after his love life “dried up” with his wife Amy following the birth of their baby.

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The brickie turned to escorts to fill the sexual void left in their marriage.

Here, in his own words, Peter reveals why he turned to sex workers after the birth of his first child.

Peter says: I can still feel the warmth of her body as she rolls over and slips out of bed.

Hurriedly, she scrambles to pick up her red, lacy underwear that's scattered across the hotel floor and, for a moment, I almost forget who she is.

Then my gaze falls on the clock, and I’m reminded: our one hour is up.

My eyes shift to the envelope with £200 cash inside - a stark reminder that I’ve just paid for sex.

For the past three months, seeing escorts has become my reality. It all started in 2024, about a year after our child was born, when my beloved wife told me she no longer wanted to sleep with me.

At the time, we’d been married for four years and still loved each other deeply.

But our once-great sex life began to unravel when we started trying for a baby.

At first, I loved it. We were having loads of sex, and it was exciting and fun. Like most couples, we never imagined we’d face any issues in that department. We just assumed it would happen naturally.

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But as the weeks turned into months, and each pregnancy test brought another disappointing negative, the strain began to creep in.

It took a toll on both of us, not just emotionally but in the bedroom as well.

Eventually, we turned to IVF, which put our sex life on a regimented schedule.

Suddenly, sex wasn’t spontaneous or passionate anymore — it was all about timing and saving my sperm for specific dates. We went from having sex like porn stars to clinical, scientific sex. It sucked all the fun and intimacy out of it.

After a few rounds of IVF, Amy finally fell pregnant. I was thrilled and assumed that once she was pregnant, our sex life would resume. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Amy was terrified of doing anything that might affect the pregnancy, including having sex.

I didn’t want to pressure her, so I stayed quiet and went without. For the nine months of her pregnancy, I relied on porn and told myself things would improve once the baby arrived.

But they didn’t.

'Physical release'

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Six months after our baby was born, I finally asked Amy if we’d ever have sex again. She admitted she had zero interest.

All her energy was focused on the baby, and I felt like I’d been pushed to the sidelines.

We had some really awkward conversations about it, but I didn’t want to lose her. I loved my wife and our baby, and I knew I had a happy family in every way — except in the bedroom.

I confided in a friend about the situation, and he suggested using escorts.

“It’s less messy than picking someone up randomly,” he said. “There’s no emotional attachment — just a physical release.” 

At first, I hated the idea. It felt wrong. But the more I thought about it, the more tempted I became.

The first time I booked an escort, I panicked and cancelled. I felt guilty even considering it. But three months ago, while working away, I finally went through with it.

I booked an escort through an agency for an hour and arranged to meet her at my hotel. Even as the time approached, I was wracked with guilt and tempted to back out again.

But in my mind, this felt like a safer option than risking an affair with someone I could develop feelings for.

At that point, I was craving physical affection so much that I convinced myself to go through with it.

The first time I booked an escort, I panicked and cancelled. I felt guilty even considering it. But three months ago, while working away, I finally went through with it.

Peter Stroud

When she arrived, I was a bundle of nerves, sweating and on edge. As a big guy who's used to working on building sites, it’s rare for me to feel that way.

But this was completely uncharted territory, and I had no idea what to expect. It was both terrifying and, in a strange way, exhilarating.

We chatted for a while before we got down to business. It was incredible. She was everything I’d hoped for — fun, exciting, and great in bed. I paid £200 and it was worth every penny.

But when I got home, the guilt hit me hard. I couldn’t look Amy in the face and felt ashamed.

There is a huge stigma attached to using escorts but I was safe and wore protection. I’d never put Amy at risk and there was no emotional attachment to these women. 

Since then, I’ve seen four other escorts while away for work. It’s not something I’m proud of, and I hate the thought of hurting Amy.

But the idea of a divorce or having an emotional affair feels even worse.

I know people will judge me for this. Believe me, I’m judging myself too.

I’m just trying to find a way to deal with a marriage that’s happy in so many ways but completely broken in one.

• Some names have been changed.

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Tips for climaxing

GEORGETTE CULLEY reveals ways women can improve their chances of getting there…

COMMUNICATION IS KEY: Don’t expect mind reading.

If you want your partner to hit the spot, speak up!

Use positive language like, “I love it when you do this.”

EXPLORE YOUR BODY: Self-pleasure is the fastest way to learn what works for you.

Try showing your partner what turns you on, instead of telling them.

FOCUS ON FOREPLAY: Spend at least 10-15 minutes exploring each other before getting down to business.

Around 75 per cent of women will not climax from intercourse alone, so don’t be afraid to add a helping hand or a sex toy.

TRY TO RELAX: Many women can reach orgasm solo, but struggle with a partner.

Stress, body insecurities and the pressure to perform can mess with your libido, arousal and ability to climax.

So take a deep breath and block out everything but each other.

EDGING: This involves stopping short of climax, then picking back up.

While men with erectile dysfunction do this to last longer, it can intensify a woman’s orgasm.

Holding off heightens sensations.

The longer you tease, the better the pay-off.