SEX EDUCATION
I’m an orgasm expert – the move you & your man need to make daily to keep desire high & SCHEDULING sex is essential too
Scroll down to find out how your relationship dynamics are putting a strain on your sex life
IF you want to spice up your sex life and keep desire high, you’ve come to the right place and need to listen up.
According to a sex expert, you and your man need to stop neglecting kissing if you want to keep the spark alive.
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Not only this, but according to Dr Karen Gurney, a Clinical Psychologist, Psychosexologist and Couples Therapist, who is also known as the ‘Orgasm Expert’, scheduling sex is essential too.
Speaking on a recent podcast episode of , Dr Karen shared her top sex advice with Dragons' Den star and entrepreneur Steven Bartlett.
Dr Karen Gurney, who has been helping people tackle sex problems for over 20 years, claimed that couples must kiss if they want to trigger desire.
She advised: “Kiss more, kiss for kissing sake.
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"Kissing often falls off the agenda in long-term relationships.
“The number of times I see that with couples I’m working with that have been together decades, they only kiss as part of sex, or as initiation of sex.
"Kissing is a great way of triggering desire, it’s also a great way of getting our sexual needs met.”
Dr Karen, author of the bestselling book, ‘Mind The Gap: The truth about desire and how to future proof your sex life’, then stressed the importance of scheduling sex.
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She continued: “You have to make time to schedule physical intimacy of some type.
“Remember that desire is triggered by that kind of sexual stimuli.
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"Whether it’s getting naked on the couch and watching a film together that you know has got good sex scenes in it, whether it’s massage, whether it’s the bath, whether it’s some kind of date night that involves use of your bodies.
"Without that, there are no triggers to your desire, so you’re just kind of waiting the feel it.”
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The research, conducted by experts at Kinsey Institute at Indiana University, revealed the average number of times people of different generations have sex per month.
- Gen Z - three times a month
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- Gen X - five times a month
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Finally, the sexpert shared the importance of learning more about desire.
She recommended: “The third is to understand how desire works - it’s drastically different than what you’ve been sold and you’re normal if you struggle to get in the headspace sometimes.”
You have to make time to schedule physical intimacy of some type
Dr Karen Gurney
The expert reinforced: “Relationship dynamics are quite fascinating - if you’re experiencing a great deal of relationship conflict, it’s going to affect your sex life, of course, we all know that to be true.
What your sexual fantasies say about you
Bya TV presenter and psychologist
Raucous Role Play: If your partner enjoys dressing up for fun, it shows creativity and a desire to keep things exciting. However, it might signal that he struggles with responsibility.
Multi-Partner Fantasies: Craving variety doesn't always mean he wants to cheat. However, it could indicate deeper feelings of unfulfillment.
Power & Control: A little dominance is normal, but if it's always about control, it may hide insecurities.
Adventure: Men seeking thrills may push boundaries, so be sure your comfort zone is respected.
Passion: If he’s romantic, he’s emotionally tuned in—though occasionally avoiding tough conversations.
Flexibility: Openness to new experiences is great, but constant novelty-seeking could mean avoiding emotional connection.
Red Flag: If control is his ultimate fantasy, it may signal a deeper struggle with power dynamics.
“But actually it’s the subtle dynamics that are quite important, having distance from each other and being able to bring in novelty and newness, it’s also an emotional separation and about what roles you might get type-cast into in your relationship.
“Something I talk about often is the idea that when we have sex with the same person for a long time, we can start to feel as though there's only one way for us to be sexually and that’s the way they’re kind of expecting us to be, so it can feel quite suffocating.
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“Sometimes that’s the reason people go outside of a monogamous relationship, because they want to experience themselves differently, they want to be a different person sexually.
"And because they feel type-cast in that dynamic - you know, you’re the dominant one, I’m not, the sex that we have is sensual and caring and I want it to be passionate and animalistic - it’s really difficult.”
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