IF you've been with your partner for years, you might think you know them inside out and be able to read them like a book - so you'd definitely know the signs they were unhappy, right?
It turns out this isn't always the case however, as seemingly positive changes within a partner - like taking the bins out without being asked or buying you gifts - could actually even be a sign your husband is thinking about leaving the marriage.
With last month unofficially considered to be 'national break-up month', this time of year can be particularly dicey for couples who have been having difficulties already.
And the signs aren't immediately obvious either, with family lawyer Julian Bremner suggesting even seemingly positive behaviours - such as stepping up their parental duties and splashing out on a fancy new perfume for you - could spell trouble.
He says: “Sometimes the signs are not obvious that you are heading for a break-up.
"For example, when 'girls' or 'boys' trips become more frequent or constant, they can provide cover for an affair.
"I had one client who ran into one of his wife’s friends and discovered that there had been no ‘girls trips’ at all - she had been seeing her new man."
Here, Julian shares the nine surprising signs your partner may be considering leaving - and can also serve as a warning that maybe your relationship requires counselling...
Watching your partner playing with your kids is a touching moment, and it's important to nurture those relationships.
But while your other half suddenly paying a more than keen interest in childcare duties is a good thing, if it's out of the ordinary and you suspect there's something off, there may be a reason.
Julian says: "If a man is thinking about leaving his spouse, it is not uncommon for him to take pre-separation advice from a family law solicitor.
"Men’s key concern upon separation is the loss of children or the potential loss of children.
Once alone, if they revert to ignoring you, it may be a sign that they have internally moved on.
Julian Bremner
"They will have been told in their meeting with the family law solicitor that they need to build a 'status quo' prior to separation showing their active engagement with the children.
"This would support, post-separation, their ability to argue for a shared care regime.
"So, this translates to becoming 'father of the year' overnight."
Having “game face” - a determined look or bravado they seem to only sport when in company to convince others everything is peachy - but being barely communicative when you're alone, could be another sign.
Julian, Executive Partner and Financial Arbitrator at , says: "This can indicate that your partner has fallen into a 'role'.
"He knows what is required when in company and they play the part to perfection.
"However, once alone, if that partner reverts to not paying
attention or, at worst, ignoring you, it may be a sign that they have internally moved on from you and you should consider counselling."
Confusingly, being particularly attentive could be an indicator something is amiss.
Julian says: "The guilt that one party may feel in having an affair can manifest itself as being overly nice, helpful etc, in their primary relationship to try and cover their tracks.
"Maybe they are being more complimentary about you in front of others, or perhaps being more tactile.
"They don’t want the other party to think they are having an affair so therefore they are attentive to them and their needs.
"This creates a smoke screen for what they are actually doing."
They say don't look a gift horse in the mouth - but maybe sometimes you need to.
So if your partner is suddenly very thoughtful, buying your favourite smellies or takeaway, or very keen to splash the cash on fancy gifts like a new car or holiday, something could be amiss.
Julian says: "This is very similar to the 'being nice' issue above.
"Guilt at an affair can lead to that party showering gifts on their spouse.
"It also may be the case that they are spending equal money on their lover.
"In a kind of twisted logic they may then decide that is acceptable if they spend the same on their spouse, out of fairness."
According to Julian, the relationship becoming more friendly than frisky is terribly common in the breakdown of marriages.
Julian says: "I constantly hear 'we have just become good roommates'.
"This is where the division of labour in running the household, the
children’s lives (particularly when they are a little older and have a plethora of hobbies and sports that mean careful planning) is required from both parents.
"If you are no longer finding time to spend time on you as a couple and have interests that are only enjoyed by you as a couple outside of your role as parents and providers, this can kill a marriage slowly and
effectively.
"It is no mistake that married family lawyers quite often make sure that they have quality time alone with their partner and perhaps focus on a specific goal just for them.
"This is so that they can maintain the integrity of their relationship outside of running their and the children’s lives on a day-to-day basis."
Julian says: "Suddenly choosing to do something new is a sign of an internal reflection that all is not well with that party’s life and they are looking to make changes and 'shake things up'.
"Whilst this can certainly benefit a relationship and does not necessarily need to be an issue – what it can mean is one party drifts from the other.
"Parties that were similar in their thoughts and outlook struggle with a change if one party, through new learning and new thinking, starts seeing the world very differently.
"It is also common for one party to simply want to stay as they are while the other grows and explores.
"This makes the more sedentary partner appear less attractive and can lead to marital breakdown."
It's perhaps an obvious one, but it's very easy to just put a decline in sex down to having busy lives and hectic schedules.
However, Julian says: "If someone is being sexually satisfied with a third party, the chances are that they may not be as interested in the same spouse that they have been sleeping with for years.
"It may also mean that a party no longer wants sex because they have spent the afternoon with their lover and therefore simply do not wish to engage in sex again."
If you're concerned your relationship could be heading towards a break-up, The Sun's agony aunt Sally Land shares her top tips to deal with difficult situations and conversations:
Julian says: "Websites like Friends Reunite, Facebook etc, do mean that people connect again sometimes with their first love, boyfriend, girlfriend etc.
"If a marriage has become stale it is an opportunity for that party to rekindle their first youthful feelings and this can translate into an affair taking place."
Julian says: "One common sign is somebody - who has perhaps been more relaxed about their appearance before - makes a sudden change.
"Dramatic weight loss, wardrobe reinvention, new haircut, new cologne or perfume... All can indicate an awakening within that individual for a desire for change.
"Whilst this change does not necessarily mean an affair, it is often an accompanying sign of a desire to be more attractive to the outside world, which could lead to one."
If you are worried about your relationship, there are steps you can take if both of you want to try and save things.
Julian adds: "If you think that you are heading in that direction, couples counselling is the best way forward.
"I think most family lawyers will tell you couples that entertain couples counselling either restore their connection and move happily forward, or break up 'nicely', having had the opportunity to discuss problems in the relationship in a safe space.
"This means those parties may decide for themselves that a break-up is necessary and they are able to do so more cleanly, smoothly and with less regret.”
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