My married lover sneaks over for rampant sex sessions then humiliates me in worst way…tormented diary of a Xmas mistress
AN anonymous mistress reveals what it really feels like to be the other woman at the most difficult time of the year.
I can still feel the heat from his body as he rolls away, murmuring, “I need to get back.”
It’s Christmas Day, and my married lover has stolen an hour with me, claiming he needed to take the dog for a walk.
His wife, distracted by the kids and holiday chaos, didn’t notice that it was all a cover story.
Now, after three rounds of passionate lovemaking, he’s rushing back to play happy families.
I suck in a breath and force a casual smile. “Okay,” I reply, trying to sound cool and breezy. “You’d better get back.”
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One thing you quickly learn as a mistress: never demand too much of their time. If you push too hard, they’ll get spooked and disappear.
I know this because I’m a serial mistress. Tom isn’t my first, although he believes he is. How naive.
I lie back in bed and light a cigarette, watching as he scrambles to gather his clothes strewn across the room.
“Don’t forget this,” I say, holding out his watch with a knowing smile. He told me it was a Christmas gift from his wife - how thoughtful of her.
It might sound cold, but I can’t help getting a kick out of the fact she bought him expensive gifts while he gave her a few books in return - or so he tells me.
I toy with the gold necklace around my neck, a gift from Tom. A smile spreads across my face. She may have the title of “wife,” but I’m the one being spoiled.
But that smug satisfaction fades later when I indulge in a bad habit I’ve picked up since our affair began two years ago: stalking her through Instagram.
Revenge fantasy
Her profile is open, of course. It always is. She’s already uploaded a batch of Christmas pictures with her perfect 2.4 family.
In one, she’s sitting on the couch, glowing in matching festive PJs with her two kids, Tom, and their labradoodle.
The caption reads: “Merry Xmas, from my family to yours.”
Urgh. I grimace and take another swig of red wine, scrolling through her carefully curated life. My finger hovers over my camera roll. The temptation to upload a picture of Tom and me in bed and tag her: “Merry Xmas from me and your husband,” flares for a moment.
But I know I won’t. These are just fantasies born of wine and frustration. Besides, it’s not her fault. She doesn’t even know I exist.
This is Tom’s fault.
I’m not a monster. I’m not cruel. I’m just a woman who fell in love with the wrong man - a man who was already taken.
Brave face
My thoughts are interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. I glance at my watch - damn, it’s 2 p.m. My parents are here for Christmas lunch.
Cue the inevitable questions: “So, when are you going to meet someone special and settle down?”
It’s a remarkable talent they have - making me feel like a real-life Bridget Jones. Of course, they have no idea I’m seeing a married man. They’d be horrified.
My dad had an affair when I was younger, and it nearly tore our family apart. It’s still a sore subject - especially for my mum.
I’m not a monster. I’m not cruel. I’m just a woman who fell in love with the wrong man - a man who was already taken
Anon
Besides, they’re more concerned with becoming grandparents than with my happiness.
"You should also look at how they place their phone down when not in use. If they face the phone with the screen facing down, then they could be hiding something."
They start telling you less about their day
When partners cheat they can start to avoid you, this could be down to them feeling guilty or because it makes it easier for them to lie to you.
"If you feel like your partner has suddenly begun to avoid you and they don't want to do things with you any more or they stop telling you about their day then this is another red flag."
"Partners often avoid their spouses or tell them less about their day because cheating can be tough, remembering all of your lies is impossible and it's an easy way to get caught out," says Aaron.
Their libido changes
Your partner's libido can change for a range of reasons so it may not be a sure sign of cheating but it can be a red flag according to Aaron.
Aaron says: "Cheaters often have less sex at home because they are cheating, but on occasions, they may also have more sex at home, this is because they feel guilty and use this increase in sex to hide their cheating. You may also find that your partner will start to introduce new things into your sex life that weren't there before."
They become negative towards you
Cheaters know that cheating is wrong and to them, it will feel good, this can cause tension and anxiety within themselves which they will need to justify.
"To get rid of the tension they feel inside they will try to convince themselves that you are the problem and they will become critical of you out of nowhere. Maybe you haven't walked the dog that day, put the dishes away or read a book to your children before bedtime. A small problem like this can now feel like a big deal and if you experience this your partner could be cheating," warns Aaron.
I wonder if we’ll ever have this kind of life together - a normal, public relationship. He says he wants it one day. Says he doesn’t love his wife and only stays for the kids.
But when I see loved-up pictures of them on her Instagram, I can’t help but question if he’s telling me the truth.
And then, as I’m scrolling through her profile yet again, I see it: a new photo.
She’s beaming, posing for the camera, her hand holding up a gold necklace. The caption reads: “Boy did good!”
My stomach churns. I feel hot, then cold. It’s identical to the one he gave me.
So much for the books.
I feel sick. My cheeks burn with humiliation. And, as ridiculous as it might sound, I feel like I’m the one who’s been cheated on.
Inside, my parents are setting up Trivial Pursuit, blissfully unaware of my turmoil. I step outside to get some air and frantically call him. Once, twice, three times - no answer.
He’s probably eating turkey sandwiches and playing charades with his family. The irony isn’t lost on me.
Finally, my phone buzzes. It’s a message: “Angela, what are you playing at? All the family are here.”
I reply with a screenshot of his wife’s picture, necklace and all. His response comes quickly: “I can explain, but not now. I’ll meet you tomorrow.”
Tears sting my eyes, but I force them back as my mum hands me a glass of Baileys. I smile through the ache in my chest.
I know I can’t feel sorry for myself. The real victim here is his wife. But I can’t help feeling so deeply betrayed.
I text my best friend - the only one who knows about the affair - and tell her everything. She’s been skeptical of him from the start.
“I don’t want to say I told you so, but…” she replies. “Anyway, I hope you’re okay. He’s not good enough for you.”
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She’s right, of course. But right now, I’m not sure I’m strong enough to walk away.
One thing is clear: being a Christmas mistress isn’t fun. This time of year - with its love songs and cheesy romcoms - only makes me feel lonelier than ever.