CHEAT-MAS
Five unexpected signs your partner is one of thousands cheating this Christmas & why expensive gifts aren’t a good thing
Watch the video for advice from our Dear Deidre expert
CHRISTMAS is the season of giving and spending time with loved ones, but for many it's an excuse to get away from the home and live out their sexual fantasies.
In fact, affairs are more likely to happen during the festive period - with relationship expert Jessica Leoni dubbing it 'cheat-mas.'
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Speaking exclusively to Fabulous, Jessica Leoni, a relationship therapist fors says there's a huge spike in people wanting to get away from family time and turn to a night of fun.
According to statistics, your partner is most likely to cheat around the beginning of December with the website getting a 32% spike in people seeking out a new partner.
Many might seek out a new lover due to the stress of Christmas, while others know they can get away with it because of their busy diaries and Jessica reveals the signs to spot if your partner is up to no good.
She says: "As for why people cheat more around the holidays, it’s generally a time when you may find yourself with more chances to mingle.
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"With office parties and festive events around this period, there’s much more social interaction compared to the rest of the year.
"Stress over Christmas is also a big issue because juggling presents, festive parties, and family time often leads to tension in relationships, which can drive people to seek out distractions, looking for a way to escape the pressure."
Often, people are reflecting on the past 12 months this time of year and may be craving some more excitement.
Gift of giving
The type of gift your partner buys you can signal if they've been naughty this year.
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It really depends on the type of presents they usually buy, says Jessica.
"The type of Christmas present your partner buys you can absolutely be a sign that something’s not quite right in your relationship," she explains.
"Buying extravagant, over-the-top gifts could raise some questions, especially if it’s out of the blue – it might indicate guilt or an effort to distract you from their infidelity.
"On the other hand, if the gifts seem careless or lack personal touch, it may suggest emotional disengagement from the relationship, which can also be a red flag."
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Family Time
Often, the guilty partner can exhibit behaviours towards other family members that you might want to look out for, especially around your children.
Guilt can do funny things to people and make them act out in ways they wouldn't normally.
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She says: "If a partner is cheating, their behaviour towards family – especially the kids – can change too.
"You might find that they’re more distracted or short-tempered with your children, or conversely, they may shower them with extra attention to make up for guilt."
Of course, at Christmas, we see our extended family a lot more and this can also be a tell-tale sign.
"With extended family, watch out for avoidance of family gatherings, or unusual tension when around loved ones. If your partner is acting awkward or distant with the in-laws or other family members, they might be feeling guilty," Jessica adds.
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Signs your relationship is heading for a divorce
- Persistent Communication Breakdowns
Constant misunderstandings, arguments, or a complete lack of meaningful conversation can signal deep-seated issues. - Emotional Distance
Feeling like roommates rather than partners, with a noticeable lack of intimacy or emotional connection. - Frequent Criticism and Contempt
Regularly criticising each other and showing contempt, such as sarcasm, eye-rolling, or mocking, can erode the relationship's foundation. - Unresolved Conflicts
Recurrent arguments about the same issues without any resolution can indicate deeper incompatibilities. - Loss of Trust
Trust is crucial in any relationship. If it's been broken and cannot be rebuilt, it may be a sign that the relationship is in trouble. - Different Life Goals
Significant differences in future aspirations, such as career goals, lifestyle choices, or family planning, can create insurmountable divides. - Avoidance
Preferring to spend time apart rather than together, whether through work, hobbies, or social activities, can indicate a desire to escape the relationship. - Lack of Support
Feeling unsupported, whether emotionally, financially, or practically, can lead to feelings of isolation and resentment. - Financial Disagreements
Constantly arguing about money, spending habits, or financial priorities can strain the relationship. - Infidelity
Whether physical or emotional, infidelity can be a major breach of trust and a sign of deeper issues in the relationship. - Changes in Affection
A noticeable decrease in affection, physical touch, or romantic gestures can indicate a loss of connection.
Busy Bees
We all know Christmas is a busy time for everyone - from meeting family and friends to extra work events and it's usually nothing to worry about.
But if your partner's calendar seems extra busy this year - it could be a red flag.
"If they seem to have endless office parties or networking events that require late nights out, it could be an excuse to create time away," explains the relationship pro.
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Hitting the shops
Holiday shopping is something we all have to do this season, but some may be using it to get their fix.
"Holiday shopping or "errands" that take hours longer than they should might also be a sign they're sneaking off," says Jess.
Last year Illicit Encounters polled 1,000 women on the site, and found that 39% of them were using Christmas shopping as an excuse for a festive fling in December, making it the top excuse to cover up their infidelity at the time.
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Quality Time
The biggest time you'll see your partner change their behaviour is when you have one-on-one time together.
It varies depending on your partner, but there are classic signs that something is off.
"Some cheaters, feeling guilty, may give lavish gifts to compensate and an out-of-character splurge could be an attempt to cover up their guilt," explains the relationship expert.
";If your partner seems less interested in spending time with you or is pulling away emotionally, that could also be a red flag.
"More secretive behaviour is something else to look at for. Watch for changes in how they handle their phone or personal devices – constant texting or taking calls in private might signal something’s off."
How to spot a cheater
If you are suspicious hyour partner is playing away from home Jessica shared her top five ways to catch a cheater.
- If your partner is suddenly working late, going to the gym more often, or is out of the house more than usual, those changes in their routine could be a sign of something more sinister.
- It might seem extreme, but watch out for unusual charges in their bank statements, like dinners or hotel stays – payments that don’t quite add up could be a warning sign.
- Pay attention if they’re suddenly protective of their phone or start texting late at night. If they take it to the bathroom, it might not just be TikTok they’re watching!
- Changes in their appearance is something else to look out for. A sudden interest in new clothes, grooming, or working out might be for someone else’s benefit.
- Keep an eye out for inconsistencies in their stories. If their explanations about where they’ve been or what they’ve been doing start to sound like plot holes in a bad movie, you may be onto something.
How to approach it
Whether you have cold, hard evidence or just a gut feeling, the only way to get an answer is to talk to your partner.
Jessica recommends: "If you’ve found real evidence, the key is to stay calm and avoid a dramatic showdown. Present what you know (texts, receipts, etc.) without being accusatory or emotional.
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"Ask for an explanation, but be prepared for the answer – whether it’s what you want to hear or not.
"If, on the other hand, you don’t have evidence of infidelity and you’re more suspicious than sure, communication is key and express how their recent behaviour is making you feel and let them know about your concerns – without jumping to conclusions, which opens the door for them to share."
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