I stopped celebrating Christmas when my youngest was 5 – my kids spend holiday with their dad & I don’t miss them at all

CHRISTMAS Eve is a time when most mums cherish snuggling up with their children in front of a festive film and tub of chocolates.

But not mother-of-two Harriet Morris.

In her house, the children’s beds are empty, and there are no mince pies for Santa or presents under the tree.

And rather than feeling bereft or battling with her ex over whose turn it is to have the kids for Christmas, Harriet, 53, relishes being child-free over the festive season.

Though her sons Louis and Tom were just eight and five when she got divorced nearly ten years ago, she insisted they should be with their father for the whole holiday.

She says: “When I had the boys with me, I used to dread Christmas.

“I hated the waste, the forced jollity and the pressure to eat and drink to excess.

“It was exhausting and stressful.

“The first time I dropped them off at a service station to meet their dad so they could spend Christmas with him, I wept, but with happiness.

“I felt so free, able to enjoy a blissful few days to myself.”

Not surprisingly, Harriet’s lack of festive spirit leaves other mothers bemused, and she says: “I’m sure they feel sorry for me.

“But I feel sorry for them, being woken up at the crack of dawn by a sticky hand patting their face.

“I see women in the supermarket looking harassed, desperate to make sure Christmas is perfect, and I thank my lucky stars that isn’t me.

“This year will be my tenth solo Christmas and I can’t wait.

“I don’t miss the boys at all.

“They’re with me for 46 weeks of the year and I know they’re having a lovely couple of weeks without me.

“They get that I’m grinchy and don’t do Christmas.”

Over the past nine years, Harriet, from Shrewsbury, has spent Christmas in various unconventional ways — at a Buddhist retreat, enjoying curry with friends, travelling abroad and even fasting.

This year she is planning a bike ride in the countryside on December 25.

She says: “I’ve never seen it as a special day.

“Growing up, I remember liking presents, but now I’m an atheist and don’t get why it’s supposedly magical and a family time.”

It was only in 2005 when she had Louis, now 19, that Harriet was forced to start celebrating — and she hated every moment.

She says: “My mother-in-law, sadly dead now, was an incredible woman and loved Christmas.

“It seemed mean not to let her see her grandson at a time that was so special to her, so we started going there.

“Despite loving her, I dreaded it, as there was tinsel everywhere and great big bowls of chocolates.

“It was frenetic.

“But she did me a favour, as I was able to outsource most of Christmas to her.

“She’d lavish the boys with presents and even do their stockings after discovering I had no intention of doing them.”

For nine years Harriet tolerated the celebrations and says: “I went through the motions, grudgingly taking them to see Santa and cheesy Christmas films.

“But I hated nativity plays.

'I LOATHED IT'

“I needed a mulled wine to get through them, and Christmas music in supermarkets made me shudder.”

Christmas Eve with the in-laws was an endurance test, and she recalls: “We’d go on a steam train to see Santa and I hated every second.

“We’d go on a drive to look at the lights on neighbouring houses.

“I loathed it.

“All I could think was how enormous their electricity bills must be.”

By Christmas morning Harriet would find herself at breaking point, taking deep breaths in the bedroom before facing the ordeal of exchanging presents.

She says: “I’d force myself to plaster on a grin.

“It wasn’t the people, who were all lovely — it was the mounds of used wrapping paper, the waste, and over-excitement.

“I could not get my head round it.

“I would buy the kids presents when they were young — my most successful one was a train set from the charity shop.

“But once they started going to their father’s, I’d wait until the sales or give them cash.”

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Christmas lunch brought further challenges for Harriet, who is a binge-eating and diabetes coach at .

She says: “I hate turkey.

“The Christmas I was pregnant with Tom, I couldn’t stand the smell, so I had to sit in a café all day.”

The end of her marriage in 2014 brought one huge benefit.

Harriet says: “Not having to do Christmas with the kids was the best thing about it.

“I woke up in my own time, with no hyped-up children, and felt peaceful.

“I ended up dancing around the living room to Madonna, energised and free.

“No part of me felt lonely or wished I was with them.

“And when they came home, clutching a stash of chocolate, I threw it away.

“I won’t have sugar in the house.”

Despite being in a new relationship, Harriet flatly refuses to indulge in Christmas cheer.

She says: “I’ve vetoed exchanging presents or doing anything festive.

“Instead, we’ll go for a bike ride and have a picnic lunch of hummus and crackers.

“The boys will be happy with their dad and I’ll be happy without them — it’s a win/win situation.”