I was dragged into bush & had my genitals butchered in FGM ritual aged 6 – I realised when I looked at biology textbook
YOUNG and innocent, Amani Abby thought she was the luckiest girl in the world when, aged six, friends and family began handing her money and sweets.
She had no idea she was about to be dragged into a bush, held down, and forced to lie with her legs open as part of a horrifying ordeal which would change her life forever.
“I don't remember anything from that point until the time I woke up in bed and my legs were tied up with ropes,” she recalls.
The trauma was so severe, Amani, 24, a student from Sheffield, South Yorks, blacked out. She didn’t even realise until she was a teenager that she had been subjected to female genital mutilation (FGM).
The horrific procedure, which involves partial or total removal of the external female anatomy for non-medical reasons, has been illegal in the UK since 1985. Classified as child abuse, it can cause long-term problems with sex, childbirth, and mental health.
In Sudan, where Amani grew up, however, the practice remains common for ‘religious purposes’, despite finally being made illegal there in 2020. According to the UN, 87% of Sudanese women aged between 14 and 49 have undergone some form of FGM.
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Amani grew up with her parents, brother and sister in a small village in Sudan, before moving to the UK aged nine. Now, 16 years after her ordeal, she exclusively recounts her story to Fabulous as she campaigns to prevent it happening to other young girls.
“I wasn't really told anything beforehand,” she says. “I was just a child, and can you imagine telling a child what was going to happen to them?” she says.
The kids were often left to their own devices and never got much attention from the adults, who were too busy trying to make ends meet - but, as Amani explains, this day was different.
“On that day, they gave me loads of attention. I remember the older men and older women who I'd never spoken to before put money in my shirt and handed me sweets.”
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Just a child
Then a large group of people led her to a nearby field where they planted crops to eat, before she was left with her grandmother, aunt, mum and a couple of other women.
“I remember them holding me firmly, gripping me at one point, telling me to lay down,” she explains. “And then all of a sudden, they held me really strongly. I don't remember anything after that.”
Amani was given no anaesthesia or painkillers, and after she came to, she recalls her mum picking her up and placing her on a bright pink potty.
“My legs were still tied and she kept telling me to wee.
“I just remember screaming and crying, saying: ‘I can't wee, I can't wee.’”
later found out from her auntie that she’d developed a severe infection - a common complication of FGM, due to the use of non-sterilised tools - and her family were preparing themselves for the worst.
Despite being so limp that she couldn’t even drink, Amani says they refused to take her to the doctor as it was too far away.
What is the reason for mutilating a child's organs when they're just healthy and they're just fine?
Amani Abby
“Who would even put a child through something so horrific?” she says. “What is the reason for mutilating a child's organs when they're healthy?”
It wasn’t until secondary school in the UK, when Amani had to sex education classes in which they learned about female anatomy, that she realised what had been done to her.
“I remember seeing pictures of the vagina and the different parts of it, the vulva, the clitoris. I was really fascinated.
“I was like, ‘This isn't like my vagina’. Mine was all sealed up and shut. I asked the teacher: ‘Do all vaginas look like that then?’
“The teacher said: ‘Yeah, they do.’”
Amani was left so shocked by the revelation that she took the textbook home to show her mum, and asked if hers was different because they were from a different country. She recalls her mum shutting the conversation down immediately, saying it was ‘shameful’ to look at such images.
It's this belief that women are just not meant to have a sexual identity.
Amani Abby
Afterwards, her mum went to the school and warned them against teaching her daughter about sex education, so Amani decided to do her own research.
She went on to Google and stumbled across the term ‘FGM’. Putting two and two together, she realised that’s what had happened to her all those years ago, and confronted her mum.
“When I asked about it, they were like: ‘Oh, we did it because it's a religious thing. It guarantees your purity and your virginity,’” she explains, adding: “Which isn't true. Religion doesn't promote violence against women. It certainly doesn't promote violence against children.
“It's this belief that women are just not meant to have a sexual identity.”
With talk of sex a taboo in her household, Amani never opened up to anyone about FGM until she left home at the age of 16.
After a fight with her dad, she lived with foster parents for a month before going into independent living.
By this time, her mum had given birth to two more girls, and Amani realised they were reaching the age she was when she was subjected to FGM.
Despite having no contact with her family, she swore she wouldn’t let it happen to her sisters and called the police to put a FGM safeguard in place. This meant they couldn’t travel to Sudan without checks to prevent her sisters from going through it as well.
WHAT IS FGM AND HOW CAN IT BE TREATED?
Female genital mutilation (FGM) is an illegal procedure where the female genitals are deliberately cut, injured and changed.
It's also known as "female circumcision" or "cutting", and it is child abuse.
The NHS states there's no medical reason for this to be done.
There are four types of FGM
Type 1: Removing part or all of the clitoris.
Type 2: Removing part or all of the clitoris and the inner labia (lips that surround the vagina), with or without removal of the labia majora (larger outer lips).
Type 3: Narrowing of the vaginal opening by creating a seal, formed by cutting and re-positioning the labia.
Type 4: Pricking, piercing, cutting, scraping or burning the area.
Source: NHS
What are the side effects?
- Constant pain
- Pain and/or difficulty having sex
- Repeated infections, which can lead to infertility
- Bleeding, cysts and abscesses
- Problems passing urine or incontinence
- Depression, flashbacks and self-harm
- Problems during labour and childbirth, which can be life-threatening for mother and baby
- Some girls die from blood loss or infection as a direct result of the procedure
How can it be treated?
Surgery called deinfibulation can be performed to open up the vagina.
It is sometimes known as a "reversal", but the NHS says this is misleading because the procedure doesn't replace removed tissue and doesn't undo the damage caused by FGM.
Surgery can be recommended for women who are unable to have sex or have difficulty passing urine, or pregnant women at risk of problems during labour as a result of FGM.
Deinfibulation involves making a cut to open the scar tissue over the entrance to the vagina and is usually performed under local anaesthetic.
New Beginnings
Amani’s determination to ensure FGM is banned across the world has only grown as she has become a mum herself.
Most FGM procedures involve stitching up until the vagina opening - meaning women can have sex although it tends to be extremely painful.
She became pregnant with daughter Maya in 2021 with her partner Ali and decided to opt for a C-section to ensure there were no complications giving birth due to FGM.
“The whole process was so calm. Recovery was really painful but I was high on the fact that she was okay and I was okay,” she says.
“That was the best feeling ever. I was so scared and having panic attacks for nine months thinking she's going to die, I'm going to die.
“I was so happy, I'd created a family. I don't have my old family but I've created my own one.”
After recovery, Amani inquired about FGM reversal - a procedure not often spoken about but available on the NHS with Blossom Clinics.
The provide a safe space to talk about FGM, therapy sessions and access to procedures to reverse the physical effects.
“My main worries were painful intercourse, sometimes impossible intercourse. Also urine infections because it can't be cleaned properly. The urine would have to travel underneath the scar tissue, which is quite painful at times,” says Amani, who is now at university studying medicine and hopes to open a non-profit charity in the future.
“Then there’s the psychological pain and feeling like your body's failing you in that aspect."
Amani says she went through with the operation for her daughter, adding that the physical pain of constantly living with FGM would traumatise her - something she wanted to get away from as she became a mum.
It also led Amani to discuss FGM and her story on social media @to educate people on the dangers and campaign against it happening to other girls.
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A year after giving birth Amani had the reversal procedure done and couldn't be happier with the results for her and her family.
“I've been able to take my power back - and change things for the better for myself.”
