Welcome to Europe’s ‘most sinful mile’ where kinky Brits watch festive porn in the forest & decorate sex toy trees
WITH its festive decorations and impressive tree adorned with twinkling lights and baubles, at first glance the Santa Pauli Christmas market looks like any other.
However, visitors willing to delve a little deeper will be in for a very naughty surprise, as the market is known for its erotic twist on the traditional festive shopping street.
Behind all the traditional offerings, this unique experience also boasts an ‘adult only’ tent hidden in a 'fir forest', offering strip shows, willy trees, sex toys and even ‘porn karaoke’.
Dubbed 'an erotic winter wonderland' while unorthodox, it’s hardly surprising, given the area's reputation.
The Christmas stalls are situated on the Reeperbahn, in Hamburg, Germany’s red light district - a strip dubbed Europe’s ‘most sinful mile’, an area renowned for having a sexy - and sometimes seedy - side.
Dildo decorations and a willy tree
Upon arrival, the market looks like any other, and offers a whole host of family-friendly activities, as well as plenty of bratwurst to nibble on, and mulled wine to sip.
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At certain stands however there are 'naughty nuns' serving kinky Christmas decorations up for sale, where shoppers can get their hands on a topless Santa bauble, or sexy lingerie figurine.
Despite the adult theme, it's essentially all a bit of fun, and the novelty element goes down well with visitors who flock there to get into the festive mood - and have a giggle.
Writing about her experience visiting the adult-only area, one travel blogger, , wrote: “There is a stand selling glass dildos and butt plugs, which are so beautiful that they could easily be hung on your Christmas tree if they weren’t so heavy.
“There’s one stand selling all manner of vibrators and, my favourite part of Santa Pauli, the willy tree.
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“This is a beautiful purple and silver tree featuring lots of shiny tinsel and lights, plus willies in all shapes, sizes and colours on the trunk for added decoration.”
Strip shows and 'porn karaoke'
For those looking to go a step further, there's an 18+ 'fir forest' to explore, and an adult-only tent, where strip shows are performed.
There's a variety of shows to attend, and strippers remove festive costumes, while shoppers buy chocolate or marzipan willies, Christmassy sex toys and decorations.
Naughtily named drinks are served, with X-rated names, like 'Bordsteinschwalbe' meaning prostitute, and there's often a drag queen hosting the frivolities.
Nell added: “The real action happens in the Santa Pauli strip tent where male and female strip shows happen throughout the evenings amongst a fir forest.
"[There are also] erotic readings and even porn karaoke, where the words are replaced by “uhhs” and “ohhs” and “ahhs”.
“Mum and I very much enjoyed the male strip show which was absolutely hilarious, complete with props and audience participation.”
Another visitor went last year, and wrote in her online review: "When I visited Santa Pauli, I saw an oiled-up police man stripping for a mortified bride-to-be, as well as a dominatrix dressed in latex breathing fire.
"Pretty impressive, although I would have much preferred a stripping Santa!"
An erotic area
More generally, the area has always had a saucy reputation, and is very popular - approximately 20 million tourists visit Hamburg's red light district.
The Pauli district is a bustling metropolis full of trendy bars, theatres and nightclubs, but also boasts a strip of brothels hidden behind a barricade, which bans women and under 18s.
And at night it really comes alive, with bright neon signs lighting up the sex houses, such as the eye-catching Pink Palace, which according to one escort website "boasts 60 international girls across five floors".
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So with all this in mind, it's hardly surprising when Santa is in Hamburg, a sexy surprise or two might be thrown in.
For anyone interested in seeing for themselves, the Santa Pauli Christmas market is open November 11 – December 23, 2024.
Five UK Christmas markets to visit this year
York's Christmas market boasts 75 decorated alpine chalets selling local crafts and gifts. Runs until December 22. You can also visit Yorkshire Yuletide Village in The Guildhall from December 3-20, for jewellery, art, textiles, soaps and ceramics. See .
Have a glass of gluhwein while listening to live music in Chester. More than 80 market stalls, selling produce surround the giant tree. Runs until December 22. Pop into the medieval cathedral before January 5 to see more decorated firs. See .
With its lit-up fort, Pembroke Castle’s market in Wales is beautiful. Celebrating its tenth anniversary, it runs for three days from November 29. Besides 80 stalls, there will be carol singers and musicians – and Santa arrives on the Friday. See .
Canterbury cathedral first hosted a Christmas market in its Kent grounds in 1383 – and now it’s back. There will be wooden stalls, food and drink outlets, a carousel and live music. Runs until December 24. See .
Manchester attracts millions of people to its markets in nine locations, including St Ann’s Square and Piccadilly Gardens, until December 22. Stalls in Cathedral Gardens are open until December 31. See .